BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
23 Years
342 Days
and
68419 Haikus
later...
Life has not been good.
But at least the truth is known.
That's better than this.
Haiku #66630, by drr of asdfasdf
December 29, 2019 3:27 am ET

frothing foggy monk
hesitates, dishrag yearning
scornful plaintive flame
Haiku #66629, by Anonymous Poet
December 28, 2019 10:14 pm ET

Hey bald Buddhist nun:
You look totally stupid.
You're not spiritual.
Haiku #66628, by Drokhba of Gomchen
December 28, 2019 7:38 pm ET

Burn the gift-wrapping
Guzzle what is drinkable
Last days of the year
Haiku #66627, by Tragic Outlook of Comedy
December 27, 2019 7:05 pm ET

Christmas comes but once a year
And when it does
It's a pain in the ass
Haiku #66626, by Ben Dover of Memphis
December 27, 2019 4:19 am ET

I want some ass too
A donkey could be my friend
For sale on Craigslist
Haiku #66625, by Anonymous Poet
December 26, 2019 11:39 pm ET

To live is to die
To die is to live but I
Oh I just want ass
Haiku #66624, by Line of lines
December 26, 2019 11:00 pm ET

many a long year
haven't had a lot to say
if i ever did
Haiku #66623, by ash
December 26, 2019 10:24 pm ET

staircase ascendant
but what goes up must come down
unless you're escher
Haiku #66622, by ash
December 26, 2019 10:20 pm ET

Drinking molasses
in the town of Manassas;
quite large my ass is.
Haiku #66621, by Darth Rhino Raper of Back from my African safari with the last of at least 10 extinct animals to hang on my wall.
December 26, 2019 5:27 pm ET

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Haiku #66620, by kittyCip of Russia
December 26, 2019 10:17 am ET

Bots try to join in
But they have no Christmas cheer
Their haiku is cold
Haiku #66619, by Spot the Bot
December 25, 2019 10:32 pm ET

Soon, everything
Will make perfect sense: until
Then please stop screaming
Haiku #66618, by Mr. Staircase
December 25, 2019 12:33 am ET

Bad Haiku: a sheer
Coincidence? I think not
No time to explain
Haiku #66617, by Mr. Staircase
December 25, 2019 12:30 am ET

Your opinion counts
Even when you appear to
A large ash pile
Haiku #66616, by Mr. Staircase
December 25, 2019 12:26 am ET

I'm on the staircase
Takes me where I need to go
I become: staircase
Haiku #66615, by Mr. Staircase
December 25, 2019 12:23 am ET

Submissive haikus
A most poetic fetish
Begging to be read
Haiku #66614, by Mr. Staircase
December 25, 2019 12:21 am ET

Time to spend money
Things you need and don't need, too
Nonchalant humans
Haiku #66613, by Mr. Staircase
December 25, 2019 12:20 am ET

She turned into scarves
Made of red disappointment
Ate my eyeballs, too
Haiku #66612, by Mr. Staircase
December 25, 2019 12:18 am ET

NSA program
Zombie chicken speaking French
$12 billion
Haiku #66611, by Mr. Staircase
December 25, 2019 12:17 am ET

Confusing steamboat
Stubborn children levitate
1892
Haiku #66610, by Mr. Staircase
December 25, 2019 12:15 am ET

Three hot sauce nightmares
Mountains of mice exploded
Aggravating shoes
Haiku #66609, by Mr. Staircase
December 25, 2019 12:13 am ET

in this case i note
the cynicism that i
left behind behind...
Haiku #66608, by vhs
December 24, 2019 8:51 pm ET

Satan and Santa
They were buddies back in school
Each took his own path
Haiku #66607, by Anonymous Poet
December 24, 2019 11:31 am ET

God, I hate Christmas.
The man who invented it
should be crucified.
Haiku #66606, by DRR of oldie but a baddie.
December 24, 2019 11:21 am ET

Christmas without Christ
The religion of shopping
SInners fake goodwill
Haiku #66605, by Consumerism of the Masses
December 23, 2019 1:23 pm ET

fatty christmas roast
it's not santa gertrudis
ho ho ho right in
Haiku #66604, by ash
December 23, 2019 8:38 am ET

Xmas wish list mandatory party punch reindeer venison St. Nick joined Zumba (C) workshop Krampus did your wife in a cheap hotel. How could you not know?
Haiku #66603, by DRR
December 22, 2019 10:13 pm ET

Imitate Jolie:
Proactive masectomy;
Stay abreast of things.
Haiku #66602, by Hollyweird Knows What's Up
December 22, 2019 1:07 pm ET

CO2 levels
Damn dinosaurs and their cars
How fucking DARE you
Haiku #66601, by Gretasaurus Thunbergius of Pangaea
December 21, 2019 11:29 am ET

what if we could be
like angelina jolly ?
'tis the season too
Haiku #66600, by ash
December 21, 2019 6:53 am ET

the planet is hot
it's a capitalist plot
but greta is not

agreeing with this
because something is amiss
stop taking the piss

fiddle while we burn
because there's nothing to learn
from the taciturn
Haiku #66599, by ash of burning bush
December 21, 2019 6:47 am ET

I wait for haiku.
But you don't write anything.
So go hang yourself.
Haiku #66598, by Poetes Maudits of Gender-based Languages
December 20, 2019 10:12 pm ET

my hipster lament
reading email in cafe
coffee is now cold
Haiku #66597, by studboy of Los Angeles, CA
December 20, 2019 2:32 pm ET

Christmas carols, joy,
The divine light of Jesus...
now shut up and BUY.
Haiku #66596, by Guy from holiday car commercial
December 19, 2019 7:30 am ET

Now, back to Greta:
Shame on you. Oh, how DARE you
make that nasty face.
Haiku #66595, by The Sky is Falling of Chicken Little
December 18, 2019 9:43 pm ET

Eh, don't call me that.
Even you are mocking me
And abusing, eh.
Haiku #66594, by Kunta Kinte of White Privilege
December 18, 2019 8:16 pm ET

After meating you
I would like to eating you.
Signed: nerdy tech guy.
Haiku #66593, by German "Frankie" of that weird Dark Web story
December 18, 2019 8:13 pm ET

Doing a rhino
Ain't as easy as it sounds.
They can drink a LOT.

Once drunk, they let go.
The proverbial wildcat.
I mean all night long.
Haiku #66592, by DRR of Take notes, Kunta Kinte.
December 18, 2019 2:10 am ET

Trichinosis types
Haikus for you: worms pull strings
Attaching limbs, brain
Haiku #66591, by 137 Degrees Fahrenheit
December 18, 2019 12:51 am ET

Jihadi surprise:
Get 72 virgins
All Gilbert Gottfried
Haiku #66590, by Anonymous Poet
December 18, 2019 12:34 am ET

Divorcing the pig.
Looking for a good rhino.
One that smashes things.
Haiku #66589, by DRR of Tranquilizer gun not needed.
December 17, 2019 11:41 pm ET

A truly vile place
Swarming with smug liberals
Virtue-signaling
Haiku #66588, by Hell, of course
December 17, 2019 11:05 pm ET

Bring it ON, you bots
Write something about Greta
(That scowling meatball)
Haiku #66587, by Pippi Longstockingholm Syndrome of "How DARE you".
December 17, 2019 9:57 am ET

Bots suck at poetry.
They write boring Haiku too.
They have no humor.
Haiku #66586, by Some Humans Resemble Bots
December 17, 2019 9:47 am ET

PROOF HUMANITY
IS DEHUMANIZING: AUTO-
-BOTS ASSEMBLE!
Haiku #66585, by OPTIMIST PRIME of PROOF OF HUMANITY REQUIREMENT IS RACIST
December 16, 2019 11:26 pm ET

Greta Thunberg died,
Went to heaven and told them:
You should be ASHAMED.
Haiku #66584, by Nasty Scowling Little Twit of the Progressive North
December 16, 2019 9:26 pm ET

i wonder if i got
more people here people might
actually use this
Haiku #66583, by vhs
December 16, 2019 3:30 pm ET

New movie project-
About Greta the screecher-
No its not a joke-

She wanders around
Hollering "how dare you" loud!
all over the world!

Earth ends in eight years!
That is what weird Greta says!
I mean bellows out

Sure to be a hit!
Teenage girl points her finger
At adults and bitches!
Haiku #66582, by Don't go to school of earth ends in eight years
December 16, 2019 2:23 pm ET

Grumpy lil Greta
Grouchy earth-actvist elf
Kicked out by Santa
Haiku #66581, by Santa of Satan
December 16, 2019 11:01 am ET