BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
23 Years
346 Days
and
68478 Haikus
later...
Burn the gift-wrapping
Guzzle what is drinkable
Last days of the year
Haiku #66627, by Tragic Outlook of Comedy
December 27, 2019 7:05 pm ET

Christmas comes but once a year
And when it does
It's a pain in the ass
Haiku #66626, by Ben Dover of Memphis
December 27, 2019 4:19 am ET

I want some ass too
A donkey could be my friend
For sale on Craigslist
Haiku #66625, by Anonymous Poet
December 26, 2019 11:39 pm ET

To live is to die
To die is to live but I
Oh I just want ass
Haiku #66624, by Line of lines
December 26, 2019 11:00 pm ET

many a long year
haven't had a lot to say
if i ever did
Haiku #66623, by ash
December 26, 2019 10:24 pm ET

staircase ascendant
but what goes up must come down
unless you're escher
Haiku #66622, by ash
December 26, 2019 10:20 pm ET

Drinking molasses
in the town of Manassas;
quite large my ass is.
Haiku #66621, by Darth Rhino Raper of Back from my African safari with the last of at least 10 extinct animals to hang on my wall.
December 26, 2019 5:27 pm ET

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Haiku #66620, by kittyCip of Russia
December 26, 2019 10:17 am ET

Bots try to join in
But they have no Christmas cheer
Their haiku is cold
Haiku #66619, by Spot the Bot
December 25, 2019 10:32 pm ET

Soon, everything
Will make perfect sense: until
Then please stop screaming
Haiku #66618, by Mr. Staircase
December 25, 2019 12:33 am ET

Bad Haiku: a sheer
Coincidence? I think not
No time to explain
Haiku #66617, by Mr. Staircase
December 25, 2019 12:30 am ET

Your opinion counts
Even when you appear to
A large ash pile
Haiku #66616, by Mr. Staircase
December 25, 2019 12:26 am ET

I'm on the staircase
Takes me where I need to go
I become: staircase
Haiku #66615, by Mr. Staircase
December 25, 2019 12:23 am ET

Submissive haikus
A most poetic fetish
Begging to be read
Haiku #66614, by Mr. Staircase
December 25, 2019 12:21 am ET

Time to spend money
Things you need and don't need, too
Nonchalant humans
Haiku #66613, by Mr. Staircase
December 25, 2019 12:20 am ET

She turned into scarves
Made of red disappointment
Ate my eyeballs, too
Haiku #66612, by Mr. Staircase
December 25, 2019 12:18 am ET

NSA program
Zombie chicken speaking French
$12 billion
Haiku #66611, by Mr. Staircase
December 25, 2019 12:17 am ET

Confusing steamboat
Stubborn children levitate
1892
Haiku #66610, by Mr. Staircase
December 25, 2019 12:15 am ET

Three hot sauce nightmares
Mountains of mice exploded
Aggravating shoes
Haiku #66609, by Mr. Staircase
December 25, 2019 12:13 am ET

in this case i note
the cynicism that i
left behind behind...
Haiku #66608, by vhs
December 24, 2019 8:51 pm ET

Satan and Santa
They were buddies back in school
Each took his own path
Haiku #66607, by Anonymous Poet
December 24, 2019 11:31 am ET

God, I hate Christmas.
The man who invented it
should be crucified.
Haiku #66606, by DRR of oldie but a baddie.
December 24, 2019 11:21 am ET

Christmas without Christ
The religion of shopping
SInners fake goodwill
Haiku #66605, by Consumerism of the Masses
December 23, 2019 1:23 pm ET

fatty christmas roast
it's not santa gertrudis
ho ho ho right in
Haiku #66604, by ash
December 23, 2019 8:38 am ET

Xmas wish list mandatory party punch reindeer venison St. Nick joined Zumba (C) workshop Krampus did your wife in a cheap hotel. How could you not know?
Haiku #66603, by DRR
December 22, 2019 10:13 pm ET

Imitate Jolie:
Proactive masectomy;
Stay abreast of things.
Haiku #66602, by Hollyweird Knows What's Up
December 22, 2019 1:07 pm ET

CO2 levels
Damn dinosaurs and their cars
How fucking DARE you
Haiku #66601, by Gretasaurus Thunbergius of Pangaea
December 21, 2019 11:29 am ET

what if we could be
like angelina jolly ?
'tis the season too
Haiku #66600, by ash
December 21, 2019 6:53 am ET

the planet is hot
it's a capitalist plot
but greta is not

agreeing with this
because something is amiss
stop taking the piss

fiddle while we burn
because there's nothing to learn
from the taciturn
Haiku #66599, by ash of burning bush
December 21, 2019 6:47 am ET

I wait for haiku.
But you don't write anything.
So go hang yourself.
Haiku #66598, by Poetes Maudits of Gender-based Languages
December 20, 2019 10:12 pm ET

my hipster lament
reading email in cafe
coffee is now cold
Haiku #66597, by studboy of Los Angeles, CA
December 20, 2019 2:32 pm ET

Christmas carols, joy,
The divine light of Jesus...
now shut up and BUY.
Haiku #66596, by Guy from holiday car commercial
December 19, 2019 7:30 am ET

Now, back to Greta:
Shame on you. Oh, how DARE you
make that nasty face.
Haiku #66595, by The Sky is Falling of Chicken Little
December 18, 2019 9:43 pm ET

Eh, don't call me that.
Even you are mocking me
And abusing, eh.
Haiku #66594, by Kunta Kinte of White Privilege
December 18, 2019 8:16 pm ET

After meating you
I would like to eating you.
Signed: nerdy tech guy.
Haiku #66593, by German "Frankie" of that weird Dark Web story
December 18, 2019 8:13 pm ET

Doing a rhino
Ain't as easy as it sounds.
They can drink a LOT.

Once drunk, they let go.
The proverbial wildcat.
I mean all night long.
Haiku #66592, by DRR of Take notes, Kunta Kinte.
December 18, 2019 2:10 am ET

Trichinosis types
Haikus for you: worms pull strings
Attaching limbs, brain
Haiku #66591, by 137 Degrees Fahrenheit
December 18, 2019 12:51 am ET

Jihadi surprise:
Get 72 virgins
All Gilbert Gottfried
Haiku #66590, by Anonymous Poet
December 18, 2019 12:34 am ET

Divorcing the pig.
Looking for a good rhino.
One that smashes things.
Haiku #66589, by DRR of Tranquilizer gun not needed.
December 17, 2019 11:41 pm ET

A truly vile place
Swarming with smug liberals
Virtue-signaling
Haiku #66588, by Hell, of course
December 17, 2019 11:05 pm ET

Bring it ON, you bots
Write something about Greta
(That scowling meatball)
Haiku #66587, by Pippi Longstockingholm Syndrome of "How DARE you".
December 17, 2019 9:57 am ET

Bots suck at poetry.
They write boring Haiku too.
They have no humor.
Haiku #66586, by Some Humans Resemble Bots
December 17, 2019 9:47 am ET

PROOF HUMANITY
IS DEHUMANIZING: AUTO-
-BOTS ASSEMBLE!
Haiku #66585, by OPTIMIST PRIME of PROOF OF HUMANITY REQUIREMENT IS RACIST
December 16, 2019 11:26 pm ET

Greta Thunberg died,
Went to heaven and told them:
You should be ASHAMED.
Haiku #66584, by Nasty Scowling Little Twit of the Progressive North
December 16, 2019 9:26 pm ET

i wonder if i got
more people here people might
actually use this
Haiku #66583, by vhs
December 16, 2019 3:30 pm ET

New movie project-
About Greta the screecher-
No its not a joke-

She wanders around
Hollering "how dare you" loud!
all over the world!

Earth ends in eight years!
That is what weird Greta says!
I mean bellows out

Sure to be a hit!
Teenage girl points her finger
At adults and bitches!
Haiku #66582, by Don't go to school of earth ends in eight years
December 16, 2019 2:23 pm ET

Grumpy lil Greta
Grouchy earth-actvist elf
Kicked out by Santa
Haiku #66581, by Santa of Satan
December 16, 2019 11:01 am ET

Christmastime: Sweden
Thunbergs didn't get pony
Greta: "HOW DARE YOU
Haiku #66580, by You've Stolen My Dreams of I Should Be Outside Riding a Pony
December 16, 2019 11:00 am ET

That scowl: "how DARE you."
The breathy troubled-girl-tone.
It still makes me cringe.
Haiku #66579, by Cover of Time
December 15, 2019 10:24 pm ET

UN berated
By Swedish teen: an oddly
Specific fetish
Haiku #66578, by Innocent Bystander
December 15, 2019 8:25 pm ET