saunter on up to
the ol Saskatoon saloon.
don't go fer yer gun

maybe if you didn't
live way out in Saskatoon
someone could help ya

no sitter can come
saturday is St. Patrick's
no beer for Mama

having sex is fun
unf unf unf unf unf unf unf
see ya later, honey

try hard as i may
i can not make "wazzzah, zzzzaaah"
fill three line haiku

you're like those bud guys
watching games, having a bud,
then saying "true....true"

is it time for beer?
is it time for beer yet, friend?
when will we have beer?

pour out a little
buttermilk for my homies
who just got blasted

Clippity clip clop
Click Click Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang
An Amish driveby

If you see Brad Pitt
Tell him I want my dog back.
What a thing to steal!

Indeed you are wise,
So why insist on wearing
That awful pink shirt?

My boyfriend cheated
with a skank who gave him x
flower bows to rain

the way i see it,
once you walk the haiku path,
there is no return.

so we meet again...
must just be one of those weird
coincidences

I'll sit at my desk,
shirk responsibility,
and wait for my beer.

My cousin gave birth
To a giant stick insect.
Boy, is it ugly!

But still she loves it.
The mother-child bond is strong
Twixt woman and bug.

I look at the clock
The second hand ticks slower
Where, then, is the third?

Wednesday is dull,
I watch the second hand crawl.
Move faster, damnit!

us three talked lastnight
as always it was intense
so hard when we cry

eat fish with salt
harass the spacehopper
who knows it might bite

I am sniffling
Yet, there are comics to be sold
Imminent herbology

I wake up frozen.
Someone's stolen my duvet.
Jesus, not again!

Haiku? MR. T don't know no Haiku
MR.T pitties the fool who writes Haiku
Stop all this jibba jabba he says

Oh silly puppy,
Chasing ev'ry passing car...
What if you caught one?

i love haiku, but
is this site a message board?
please kaiku only

I am so ashamed
I should not have named you so
My humblest sorry

who are you, you Q?
and why put my name up too
shouldn't have you know!

Q, with Sanjuro
Is not Sanjuro, no way
it is only me

Work for domino?
I would rather die slowly.
Not for me I fear.

oops, i have farted
please do not look so alarmed
i had beans for tea

Oh, the trees are gay
trippy trippy la la la
Where's me hat Stanley

Mr Lipanzerman
a purveyor of fine cheese
and insect trousers

My oh my, I'm a
tree surgeon from South
Borneo, ooh ooh

Where is the big brain?
It has nice fashion sense
Ow, the large cat said

when judo training
you must fall down ten times but
get up eleven

Coming to LA?
Do swing by Mr T's Bowl
It's in Highland Park

Spent the evening there
Tonight, as my days here wane
It was quite a scene

In search of a vibe
It's the one that I've wanted
Mellow, Fucked Up, Kind.

and the tap drips drip
drip drip drip drip drip drip drip
it's always the same

acceleration?
spiralling our of control
my head is spinning

call an exorcist
all I hear is fingers tap
tap tap tap tapping

hurtling through a life
on a tiny blue marble
surfing the abyss

I get this feeling
I'm in motion, a certain
sense of liberty

accelerated
moving somewhere at a rate
poets in motion

James Van Der Beek's dog
Barked loudly, as if to say:
"I love Dawson's Creek!"

George W. Bush
Spilt his breakfast on the floor
And wept like a child.

My wicked uncle
Kidnapped my sister and me.
God, I hate that guy!

there once was a dude named Norm
whose poems just wouldn't conform.
his demise at the hands
of bad haiku fans
shall forever be mourned.

six five ninety one
play it forwards and backwards
still makes no sense. Huh?

blip bloop gloppity
glif gloop frippity nop nip
noop scrip fleeble glah!

ive got the straight edge
minus the connotations
i miss ian mckaye

that was weird lilliey
we submitted together
fucked up...don't you think?

The steps start to move
Fall down outside, bust my head
DAMMIT! Im DRUNNNK - again