Yo momma is so
hairy, she was even turned
down by Chewbacca.
by df
 
			
You momma is so
hairy, her dingleberries
go to her ankles.
by df
 
			
You momma so dumb
she thinks "gross income" is cash
tucked in her g-string.
by df
 
			
Yo mama Haiku 
So nasty it make Basho
Bash he haid on wall
by Leroy Fukushima of Kanagawa Prefecture 
 
			
You so boring, damn.
So boring that yo' mama
Went to sleep at six.
by Tyrone Jones of da Hood 
 
			
The English language 
communicates hatred well.
So we should be proud.
by Raping your ear drums. Ejaculating adverbs. Slang vulgarities.
 
			
Father like daughter.
She said "Wasabi is Grinch poop!"
at the sushi bar.
by df
 
			
Linguine penis
Sexy Italian accent
You no like mushy?
by Al Dente of The Boot 
 
			
Massage girl told me
There are no happy endings
But her Cunt smiled wide
by Rev. Cornelius W. Cuntfart  of MAN BEHIND HUGE DONG 
 
			
Massage parlor girls
always tell me "come again"
as I leave smiling.
by df
 
			
Addams Family "Thing".
Luke Skywalker's missing hand.
Lurch happy endings.
by df
 
			
Do you like the phrase,
"testicular fortitude,"
as much as I do?
by Inquiring minds
 
			
Please don't say "matrix".
Damn linear algebra.
Brain acrobatics.
by Compute the null space of the orthogonal span of your grandmothers saggy tits and the dingleberries of the Jolly Green Giant. 
 
			
There are no victims.
They are all false flag events.
Subscribe and hit "like".
by Matrix Imperatrix of Dominatrix 
 
			
If nobody died
shootings would be funnier
Not to mention fun
by Life's too stressful
 
			
Water buffalo calf
with a broken front leg.
Lions eat you up.
by I'm such a victim. of Look at me, feel sorry for me, I hope I taste good for you. 
 
			
You ever feel like your entire life has been a waste of time and you're just here for the benefit of others?
Fuck!
by Anonymous Poet
 
			
Of course nobody
Will vote for his cracker ass...
Nasty old racist.
by David Duke's Mother-in-law of Crackerland 
 
			
It's all dog-whistling.
That's what it is, yes siree.
Trump's calling racists.
by Haile Sellassie of Greater Abyssinia 
 
			
TRUMP TRUMP TRUMP TRUMP TRUMP
(soyboy whines about pronouns)
TRUMP TRUMP TRUMP TRUMP TRUMP
by Much worse than Hitler of course 
 
			
Please remove your tongue
from your boyfriend's tight asshole
when you speak to me.
by Melania Trump wrote that previous poem, I bet. of Going down on secret service agents. 
 
			
LDJVRWLJDHPYGQIH
BPBLGOGWYHYJC
by POIIUFH
 
			
Have you considered
a career in poetry?
I didn't think so.
by df of Hustlin' fo' them dollas 
 
			
Dead dog catapult.
Launching canine carcasses
at the local church.
by Dog-a-pult. of 5 am church bells are complete bullshit! 
 
			
poo in my gloves
how did it get there you ask
its my secret bitch
by BodoBlaubeere of Germany 
 
			
Poetry is gay.
Feel your ass getting juicy?
That's 'cause you read this.
by df
 
			
The voice of reason
Emanates from your sphincter
All else: Distraction
by Walkin  Funny of Nerd Section  
 
			
Rolang and Lofan:
Two lone voices of reason
in this insane place.
by Takes Two to Figpucker of Dearth of Darth 
 
			
Sexy library girl
Wanted to see my huge, vast
collection of books
Books stacked like her
All over the GD place
How'd she read my mind?..
by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia 
 
			
You rotten devils
killed innocent people
evil to the core
Your mind and soul- vile
The price that you will soon pay
merciless karma
your way of thinking
from both of the two poles
led you into hell
by Rolang of Kong Ming 
 
			
To avoid reading
she sucked off her professors.
Suckma cum loude.
by Professor Figpucker
 
			
Longpig afternoon 
Casually picking my teeth 
Cutting farts at will
by Hearth Cricketfucker of Chirpy Chirpy  
 
			
Trapped in Phillipines
Darth is in Purgatory
but doesn't know it.
by Anonymous Poet
 
			
Never stood a chance
Ex mother in law rode them
Broke all the doorknobs
by Star Trek Historian 
 
			
Never stood a chance
Ex mother in law rode them
Broke all the doorknobs
by Star Trek Historian 
 
			
It's quite fun to watch
fat women eating bacon.
But would you fuck them?
by df
 
			
Did you know that some
monkeys speak with their eyebrows.
That's an inside joke.
by df of I'm such a racist asshole. No apologies. 
 
			
Whoring and stealing.
Next day praying to Jesus.
Soul saved, now repeat.
by df
 
			
Whores with five children.
Formaldehyde alcohol.
Sad penis and brain.
I suppose same same.
Spend your whore dollars wisely.
Pattaya, Thailand!
Wishing I was there.
No place on earth can compare.
And the food is great!
by df of The Philippines sucks! Bad food, litter, shit everywhere, gold diggers as far as the eye can see. 
 
			
Hold up a minute.
The last five haiku had no
bodily functions.
I mean, that's just wong.
Wong on so many revels.
China owns us all.
But at least in the US there is some quality control over the products we get.  Christ in poor countries, China Big Business owns the malls and exports nothing but shit w/ very short life spans.
Door knobs... fucking door knobs.  One example.  How long should a door knob last under normal conditions.  5 to 10 years?  Every fucking door knob I've ever bought in this shit hole country for some reason will break after less than a year.  I mean, what the fuck?!  One stupid example.  Don't even get me start on the shit-quality food and rip-off electronics.
Be smart, never go to shit-hole countries.  The big store owners are the biggest criminals in this fucking place.  Worse than the drug dealers or gangs.  Fucking political corruption everywhere.  The more corruption, the more poverty.  Proportional.
by df
 
			
Just ate Chinese food
Now, thoughts of Baryshnikov
That leotard bulge
by Hungry of Twenty minutes later  
 
			
China and Russia
Are battle for USA
Both make bad movie
by Long Brostrong of the Starship Enterprise 
 
			
Hollywood sell outs 
Let Mao Tse Tung vet their films 
Then- take his money
by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia 
 
			
Hollywood sell outs
Let Mao Tse Tung vet their films
And taks his money
by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia 
 
			
They yearn to be free
While back in the USA
Chumps- vote for Bernie
by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia 
 
			
Right now in Hong Kong
One hundred thousand Tank Men
Saddle up for war
by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia 
 
			
Poor Richard Gere
Told the truth about Chicom's
Never work again...
by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia 
 
			
Lost track of the time 
Alone at the train station 
Stray dog approaches 
Who are you?  I ask
I m Richard Gere s akita 
I take him right therr
by  Screwed
 
			
Spread your legs Grandma
Grandpa choked on the dust cloud
Knocked him off his feet 
Confused and alone 
John Boy Walton s mole beat off 
With help from his host
by Respect for your elders of Walton s Mountain 
 
			
Trudging through hot sand
Sore camel toe on display 
Much talk of humping
by Starkitten of Purrcific Northwest