Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 136 Days and 76969 Haiku later...

The English language
communicates hatred well.
So we should be proud.
Haiku # 65528, August 11, 2019 4:16 am ET
by Raping your ear drums. Ejaculating adverbs. Slang vulgarities.
Father like daughter.
She said "Wasabi is Grinch poop!"
at the sushi bar.
Haiku # 65527, August 11, 2019 2:15 am ET
by df
Linguine penis
Sexy Italian accent
You no like mushy?
Haiku # 65526, August 10, 2019 8:25 pm ET
by Al Dente of The Boot
Massage girl told me
There are no happy endings
But her Cunt smiled wide
Haiku # 65525, August 10, 2019 7:18 pm ET
by Rev. Cornelius W. Cuntfart of MAN BEHIND HUGE DONG
Massage parlor girls
always tell me "come again"
as I leave smiling.
Haiku # 65524, August 10, 2019 7:08 pm ET
by df
Addams Family "Thing".
Luke Skywalker's missing hand.
Lurch happy endings.
Haiku # 65523, August 10, 2019 7:06 pm ET
by df
Do you like the phrase,
"testicular fortitude,"
as much as I do?
Haiku # 65522, August 10, 2019 12:17 pm ET
by Inquiring minds
Please don't say "matrix".
Damn linear algebra.
Brain acrobatics.
Haiku # 65521, August 10, 2019 6:02 am ET
by Compute the null space of the orthogonal span of your grandmothers saggy tits and the dingleberries of the Jolly Green Giant.
There are no victims.
They are all false flag events.
Subscribe and hit "like".
Haiku # 65520, August 10, 2019 4:19 am ET
by Matrix Imperatrix of Dominatrix
If nobody died
shootings would be funnier
Not to mention fun
Haiku # 65519, August 10, 2019 2:23 am ET
by Life's too stressful
Water buffalo calf
with a broken front leg.
Lions eat you up.
Haiku # 65518, August 10, 2019 12:08 am ET
by I'm such a victim. of Look at me, feel sorry for me, I hope I taste good for you.
You ever feel like your entire life has been a waste of time and you're just here for the benefit of others?
Fuck!
Haiku # 65517, August 9, 2019 10:17 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Of course nobody
Will vote for his cracker ass...
Nasty old racist.
Haiku # 65516, August 9, 2019 9:43 pm ET
by David Duke's Mother-in-law of Crackerland
It's all dog-whistling.
That's what it is, yes siree.
Trump's calling racists.
Haiku # 65515, August 9, 2019 9:40 pm ET
by Haile Sellassie of Greater Abyssinia
TRUMP TRUMP TRUMP TRUMP TRUMP
(soyboy whines about pronouns)
TRUMP TRUMP TRUMP TRUMP TRUMP
Haiku # 65514, August 9, 2019 6:42 pm ET
by Much worse than Hitler of course
Please remove your tongue
from your boyfriend's tight asshole
when you speak to me.
Haiku # 65513, August 9, 2019 4:18 am ET
by Melania Trump wrote that previous poem, I bet. of Going down on secret service agents.
LDJVRWLJDHPYGQIH
BPBLGOGWYHYJC
Haiku # 65512, August 8, 2019 2:01 pm ET
by POIIUFH
Have you considered
a career in poetry?
I didn't think so.
Haiku # 65511, August 8, 2019 10:37 am ET
by df of Hustlin' fo' them dollas
Dead dog catapult.
Launching canine carcasses
at the local church.
Haiku # 65510, August 8, 2019 4:37 am ET
by Dog-a-pult. of 5 am church bells are complete bullshit!
poo in my gloves
how did it get there you ask
its my secret bitch
Haiku # 65509, August 7, 2019 8:28 pm ET
by BodoBlaubeere of Germany
Poetry is gay.
Feel your ass getting juicy?
That's 'cause you read this.
Haiku # 65508, August 7, 2019 7:40 pm ET
by df
The voice of reason
Emanates from your sphincter
All else: Distraction
Haiku # 65507, August 7, 2019 2:02 pm ET
by Walkin Funny of Nerd Section
Rolang and Lofan:
Two lone voices of reason
in this insane place.
Haiku # 65506, August 7, 2019 11:56 am ET
by Takes Two to Figpucker of Dearth of Darth
Sexy library girl
Wanted to see my huge, vast
collection of books

Books stacked like her
All over the GD place
How'd she read my mind?..
Haiku # 65505, August 7, 2019 5:40 am ET
by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
You rotten devils
killed innocent people
evil to the core

Your mind and soul- vile
The price that you will soon pay
merciless karma

your way of thinking
from both of the two poles
led you into hell
Haiku # 65504, August 7, 2019 5:20 am ET
by Rolang of Kong Ming
To avoid reading
she sucked off her professors.
Suckma cum loude.
Haiku # 65503, August 7, 2019 3:06 am ET
by Professor Figpucker
Longpig afternoon
Casually picking my teeth
Cutting farts at will
Haiku # 65502, August 6, 2019 6:18 pm ET
by Hearth Cricketfucker of Chirpy Chirpy
Trapped in Phillipines
Darth is in Purgatory
but doesn't know it.
Haiku # 65501, August 6, 2019 9:59 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Never stood a chance
Ex mother in law rode them
Broke all the doorknobs
Haiku # 65500, August 5, 2019 12:19 pm ET
by Star Trek Historian
Never stood a chance
Ex mother in law rode them
Broke all the doorknobs
Haiku # 65499, August 5, 2019 12:17 pm ET
by Star Trek Historian
It's quite fun to watch
fat women eating bacon.
But would you fuck them?
Haiku # 65498, August 5, 2019 6:47 am ET
by df
Did you know that some
monkeys speak with their eyebrows.
That's an inside joke.
Haiku # 65497, August 5, 2019 4:45 am ET
by df of I'm such a racist asshole. No apologies.
Whoring and stealing.
Next day praying to Jesus.
Soul saved, now repeat.
Haiku # 65496, August 5, 2019 4:43 am ET
by df
Whores with five children.
Formaldehyde alcohol.
Sad penis and brain.

I suppose same same.
Spend your whore dollars wisely.
Pattaya, Thailand!

Wishing I was there.
No place on earth can compare.
And the food is great!
Haiku # 65495, August 5, 2019 4:41 am ET
by df of The Philippines sucks! Bad food, litter, shit everywhere, gold diggers as far as the eye can see.
Hold up a minute.
The last five haiku had no
bodily functions.

I mean, that's just wong.
Wong on so many revels.
China owns us all.

But at least in the US there is some quality control over the products we get. Christ in poor countries, China Big Business owns the malls and exports nothing but shit w/ very short life spans.
Door knobs... fucking door knobs. One example. How long should a door knob last under normal conditions. 5 to 10 years? Every fucking door knob I've ever bought in this shit hole country for some reason will break after less than a year. I mean, what the fuck?! One stupid example. Don't even get me start on the shit-quality food and rip-off electronics.
Be smart, never go to shit-hole countries. The big store owners are the biggest criminals in this fucking place. Worse than the drug dealers or gangs. Fucking political corruption everywhere. The more corruption, the more poverty. Proportional.
Haiku # 65494, August 4, 2019 9:42 pm ET
by df
Just ate Chinese food
Now, thoughts of Baryshnikov
That leotard bulge
Haiku # 65493, August 4, 2019 7:57 pm ET
by Hungry of Twenty minutes later
China and Russia
Are battle for USA
Both make bad movie
Haiku # 65492, August 4, 2019 6:24 pm ET
by Long Brostrong of the Starship Enterprise
Hollywood sell outs
Let Mao Tse Tung vet their films
Then- take his money
Haiku # 65491, August 4, 2019 9:38 am ET
by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
Hollywood sell outs
Let Mao Tse Tung vet their films
And taks his money
Haiku # 65490, August 4, 2019 9:35 am ET
by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
They yearn to be free
While back in the USA
Chumps- vote for Bernie
Haiku # 65489, August 4, 2019 9:29 am ET
by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
Right now in Hong Kong
One hundred thousand Tank Men
Saddle up for war
Haiku # 65488, August 4, 2019 9:24 am ET
by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
Poor Richard Gere
Told the truth about Chicom's
Never work again...
Haiku # 65487, August 4, 2019 9:17 am ET
by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
Lost track of the time
Alone at the train station
Stray dog approaches

Who are you? I ask
I m Richard Gere s akita
I take him right therr
Haiku # 65486, August 4, 2019 6:06 am ET
by Screwed
Spread your legs Grandma
Grandpa choked on the dust cloud
Knocked him off his feet

Confused and alone
John Boy Walton s mole beat off
With help from his host
Haiku # 65485, August 4, 2019 5:49 am ET
by Respect for your elders of Walton s Mountain
Trudging through hot sand
Sore camel toe on display
Much talk of humping
Haiku # 65484, August 4, 2019 12:42 am ET
by Starkitten of Purrcific Northwest
Calamine lotion
On the end of your penis
Now your dink is pink
Haiku # 65483, August 4, 2019 12:13 am ET
by Rosy Gonadz of Under old willow
Summer camp pervert
Watching you defecating
And wiping with leaves
Haiku # 65482, August 3, 2019 11:27 pm ET
by Pervert of Camp
Somebody once said
If you have really big feet
Your dink should be large
Haiku # 65481, August 3, 2019 10:33 pm ET
by Uber driver of Waiting and masturbating
intimidating
homosexuality
defenestrated
Haiku # 65480, August 3, 2019 10:20 pm ET
by throw those fags out the window!
Opera theater.
Contemplate urinating.
From the balcony.
Haiku # 65479, August 3, 2019 10:14 pm ET
by BroMany thanks to our sponsors: General Electric, Exxon, and the Charlie Manson Foundation. of San Diego Opera Scenic Studio
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