I'm on the phone now
Ordering a new toilet
An expensive date

When the noise quiets down
You emerge from the bathroom
Fifteen pounds lighter

Old fashioned pounding
Both legs tied to the bedposts
Phone is off the hook

The grey area
Betwixt my balls and asshole
I call it my taint

The three little pigs
Shaking Quaking No Faking
Bacon Orgasm

Christ once asked a man:
"How many of you are there
in there ?" (Pig demons)

God's a homophobe
Which doesn't make any sense
Cuz I think he's gay

Yelling in GodsCunt
Secondhand didgeridoo
Tones only dogs hear

Yelling in God

Pork Figpucker chops
And applesauce!! Applesauce!!
My favorite rerun

One hundred percent
USDA inspected
Pork Figpucker loin

Why I buy brown sheets
Sometimes my bowel movements
Wake up before me

Knocked on your front door
No answer. You were sleeping.
Left package in rear

Emasculated
Took the thing between your legs
Mounted it on wall

Darth, maybe you need
One of those gut refill gigs
they call "shit transplant" (?)

Its not the end its the begging. Because there's always ANU truth in the beginning.

I just got neutered
Now that I don't have a dick
Can we date again?

I yelled in God's cunt.
The echo rang with a boom.
So much wasted time.

Empty and hollow.
And far too loose to enjoy.
Like an old hooker.

Friendly but pointless.
The deeper you look, the more
depressed you become.

Stay away from God.
It's the best thing you can do.
Play sudoku; die.

That's why UPS
delivery workers wear
those ugly brown pants.

Cassowary Bird
Attacked our UPS man
Made him shit his pants

Grocery store
Examining cucumbers
Sampling a pickle

Climbing to the top
The peak of success. What's next?
Shit on everyone!

Thanks for asking, friend
Now and then..I never know
Guess it's a craps shoot

So you're saying that
gold coins DON'T spill out when you
bend over; that's strange.

Passersby take note
Didn't he outrun the train?
Where is his bucket?

Tranquil evening stroll
All of nature is chirping
And beating their meat

Two sips of moonshine
Put some lead in your pencil
Spring Tonic is in!

dead fetus
unfilled ovaries dead cells
just a spam dump useless life no pump to make a bump

Outrunning the train
Jerking off in a bucket
Hung around my neck

Time for discussions
Tales of brave cassowaries
Their heroic deeds

Hands moving so fast
Bring the scent up to my nose
Flatulence! Nectar!

Can you imagine
If every time I bent over
Gold coins would spill out

So what animal
are we allowed to discuss
and/or make fun of?

How about humans!
Looks like monkeys, tastes like pork.
And bad at haiku.

Perfume of Spring wind
Kimono drying on line
I stand here naked

Wind howling,"Eat me"
Cassowaries line dancing
Evil is afoot

Hospitality
Unexpected guests welcome
For you, I spread legs

Around the table
Pass the gravy. Pass the salt
I love eating cock!

Proboscis monkeys!
Like there's a cock their face.
The ladies love it!

Kim Jong's cum is good
But Donald Trump would agree
Putin's is better

Ghee Whiz, processed food.
Blessed by a Hindu priestess.
By pissing in it.

Please cease and desist
With the thing about the damn
Cassowary bird.

Doc says you have worms
Take this pill and you

Jasmine rice, old cheese
The belly dancer jiggles
Her cunt in your face

Customer Service
We did not like the ark ride
Cassowary bird

Golden horizon
I piss out of car window
The future is now

Much funny laughters
Big dildo assembly line
Take selfie with it

Cassowary Bird
We are flightless bird mofos
You must obey us!

Don't waste your eyesight
Look over this way at me
Look at my big eye

the joestars are suck
they make me want to throw up
muda muda wry

Teenage Figpucker
Masturbation in Session
"Got math homework, mom"