Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 40 Days and 77432 Haiku later...

I think it should be
Something much more slippery
Perhaps you try ghee?
Haiku # 64329, April 25, 2019 11:58 am ET
by Dr. Seuss of Stadium of Epic Masturbation
Butter or jelly
Which should I smear on my dick
When I masturbate?
Haiku # 64328, April 25, 2019 11:44 am ET
by Get out of My house
How would you like to
suck out the cordial cherries.
They'll give you cancer.
Haiku # 64327, April 25, 2019 6:52 am ET
by Lord Figpucker
Darth Fudgepacker guy
Package packed with chocolate
Back end Bon Bon Vox
Haiku # 64326, April 25, 2019 6:41 am ET
by U #2 of Unforgettable Fire in his ass
Dad always called you
"Good for nothing, little shit!"
Born out the back end
Haiku # 64325, April 25, 2019 6:37 am ET
by Backstreet Baby of Result of anal sex
Garden of Eden
Did people poop out the bum?
Did people have bums?
Haiku # 64324, April 25, 2019 6:33 am ET
by Noticer of Details
Someone once asked me
For my views on birth control
Stick to anal sex
Haiku # 64323, April 25, 2019 2:52 am ET
by Can of Worms
Our cunts are sealed up
No more of that for you pigs
Go hump animals!
Haiku # 64322, April 25, 2019 2:14 am ET
by Anonymous Poet of cunt
Blowjobs are awesome.
Retarded prostitutes too.
When you combine them...
Haiku # 64321, April 25, 2019 2:07 am ET
by Cuntfart Cuntfart of Cunt
Police in transit
Please stay on the line with us
Hide in your closet
Haiku # 64320, April 25, 2019 1:57 am ET
by Haiku Police
Looked out my window
Something very suspicious
Enjoyment of life
Haiku # 64319, April 25, 2019 1:35 am ET
by Window Pain of Ass
You know what's up now
They've got the DNA swab
They see your crab lice
Haiku # 64318, April 25, 2019 12:56 am ET
by Stalked
"To Serve and Protect"
In case of emergency
Dial 575
Haiku # 64317, April 25, 2019 12:11 am ET
by Haiku Police
When I pulled your dink
You danced like you were walking
Across red hot coals
Haiku # 64316, April 24, 2019 11:29 pm ET
by Dink Puller
Bend it like Beckham
So you can reach my G spot
The crowd is cheering
Haiku # 64315, April 24, 2019 11:26 pm ET
by Soccer Mom
Sexual soccer
Scoreless in regulation
Came in stoppage time
Haiku # 64314, April 24, 2019 11:18 pm ET
by Purveyor of Smut
Meow? ...
Meow? ...
Meow? ...
Haiku # 64313, April 24, 2019 11:14 pm ET
by Cat of House at 3 AM
It's kind of awkward
You and me out on the town
I'm a flightless bird
Haiku # 64312, April 24, 2019 11:07 pm ET
by Cassowary bird of Both feet on the ground
Cassowary Bird
Blissful. Plays didgeridoo
Oh wait, that s his bong
Haiku # 64311, April 24, 2019 10:01 pm ET
by Bird watcher
Tie yellow ribbon
Around Tony Orlando s
Tremendous penis!!
Haiku # 64310, April 24, 2019 9:57 pm ET
by No circumcision! No circumcision!!
autumn leaves of colors
fall only to grow again the old oak tree as the bees still gather round the in the tree is sweet nectar
Haiku # 64309, April 24, 2019 9:30 pm ET
by Within The Oak of Oxygen the Gathering
Remember when we did
Hands Across America
And I pulled your dink?
Haiku # 64308, April 24, 2019 9:25 pm ET
by Why it never works of Someone always lets go
Round about this time
When the sun begins to set
I get a boner
Haiku # 64307, April 24, 2019 9:21 pm ET
by Rural Guido of Watching the sun set
2 breakdancing birds
Oldskool on flattened cardboard
Kool Cassowaries
Haiku # 64306, April 24, 2019 9:18 pm ET
by Cassowaries of Cardboard
Corn chip feet
set the shoe on fire
hot breath and bologna ass
Haiku # 64305, April 24, 2019 9:17 pm ET
by Ass Munchers of R Us BaDOOKIEDOE
It s called e. Coli
My homemade backend milkshake
Brings it to your yard
Haiku # 64304, April 24, 2019 9:15 pm ET
by Good Neighbour of Your backyard
It
Haiku # 64303, April 24, 2019 9:15 pm ET
by Good Neighbour of Your backyard
You better wash it!
Using frozen turd dildos...
not very healthy!
Haiku # 64302, April 24, 2019 9:11 pm ET
by LF
What drugs do you like?
How often do you partake?
Let's be honest now.
Haiku # 64301, April 24, 2019 9:08 pm ET
by Statistician of Confidently High Pothesis.
Mueller said it best:
nothing there in the sandwich
but hatred and air.
Haiku # 64300, April 24, 2019 8:54 pm ET
by The Wicked Hate Him The Righteous Love Him of Eat Filth and Die
Way back in the day
Really not that long ago
We wiped with corn cobs
Haiku # 64299, April 24, 2019 8:00 pm ET
by Rear Admiral of Colonel Sanders
been through shaming
also bad naming
mobs can lick the cob
Haiku # 64298, April 24, 2019 6:38 pm ET
by Garden of Fungicide
Napolitano
Telling it just like it is
Sucks to be cheeto
Haiku # 64297, April 24, 2019 6:20 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Off to wash my cunt
Been putting it off too long
See you much later
Haiku # 64296, April 24, 2019 5:49 pm ET
by Cuntfart Cuntfart of Cunt
Cassowary bird
Just ate a big ice cream cone
It was delicious
Haiku # 64295, April 24, 2019 5:46 pm ET
by Cassowary bird
Kyoto skin flute
Cassowary aria
Maestro castrated
Haiku # 64294, April 24, 2019 5:37 pm ET
by Noticer of Details of Box seats
Dank wank made it stank
Drank from the tank. Robbed sperm bank.
Can't tell beans from frank
Haiku # 64293, April 24, 2019 5:31 pm ET
by Cuntfart Cuntfart of cunt
Fukushima Bride
Radioactive vagina
Built-in vibrator
Haiku # 64292, April 24, 2019 5:20 pm ET
by Rural Guido of No toucha da mushrooms
Kyoto cherry blooms
We stroll in fragrant moonlight
Shit all over Darth
Haiku # 64291, April 24, 2019 5:11 pm ET
by Poetic Geisha of Shit
Ehhm, excuse please
I hevink uranium...
You are want to buy?
Haiku # 64290, April 24, 2019 5:08 pm ET
by Hillary Putin of Radioaktiv Kollusion
Syllabic laxness
Will lead to public shaming
before Haiku mob.
Haiku # 64289, April 24, 2019 5:04 pm ET
by Community Organizer of Haiku
Leave me alone u bunch of ball sacks
Haiku # 64288, April 24, 2019 5:03 pm ET
by Whales Dicks of Scribbled Nuts
I had a pet dog when I was younger
It drank something poisonous
And ended up dead and bloated
Flies were feasting when I found it
Reminds me of you
Except I actually liked the dog
Haiku # 64287, April 24, 2019 4:55 pm ET
by Anomalous Poet
YOU ARE SO SMART AND WITTY
YOU MUST BE REALLY SUCCESSFUL
YOU SEEM HAPPY AND SATISFIED
Haiku # 64286, April 24, 2019 4:53 pm ET
by NPC
Made in God's image
He must jerk off all day long
And look just like you
Haiku # 64285, April 24, 2019 4:30 pm ET
by Noticer of Details of Nerd Watch
AGREED
ORANGE MAN BAD
SYLLABLE COUNTING IS RACIST
Haiku # 64284, April 24, 2019 4:18 pm ET
by NPC
I love Daddy Trump
Because he made Feminists
and Transsexuals!
Haiku # 64283, April 24, 2019 3:49 pm ET
by God is good but YOU aren't
Spewdon, Sprayson, Glob
Hardonathon, Queeftopher
Taintbert, Prejaxxon
Haiku # 64282, April 24, 2019 3:12 pm ET
by Uncommon Boys Names of Better than Adolph
Pucker upper time
Donald Trump somersaulting
Kissing his own ass
Haiku # 64281, April 24, 2019 2:59 pm ET
by Which end is which?
I voted for Trump.
'Cause he's got a purdy mouth.
I bet he'd squeal.
Haiku # 64280, April 24, 2019 2:49 pm ET
by Figpuckers cousin' Amos.
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