I just got neutered
Now that I don't have a dick
Can we date again?

I yelled in God's cunt.
The echo rang with a boom.
So much wasted time.

Empty and hollow.
And far too loose to enjoy.
Like an old hooker.

Friendly but pointless.
The deeper you look, the more
depressed you become.

Stay away from God.
It's the best thing you can do.
Play sudoku; die.

That's why UPS
delivery workers wear
those ugly brown pants.

Cassowary Bird
Attacked our UPS man
Made him shit his pants

Grocery store
Examining cucumbers
Sampling a pickle

Climbing to the top
The peak of success. What's next?
Shit on everyone!

Thanks for asking, friend
Now and then..I never know
Guess it's a craps shoot

So you're saying that
gold coins DON'T spill out when you
bend over; that's strange.

Passersby take note
Didn't he outrun the train?
Where is his bucket?

Tranquil evening stroll
All of nature is chirping
And beating their meat

Two sips of moonshine
Put some lead in your pencil
Spring Tonic is in!

dead fetus
unfilled ovaries dead cells
just a spam dump useless life no pump to make a bump

Outrunning the train
Jerking off in a bucket
Hung around my neck

Time for discussions
Tales of brave cassowaries
Their heroic deeds

Hands moving so fast
Bring the scent up to my nose
Flatulence! Nectar!

Can you imagine
If every time I bent over
Gold coins would spill out

So what animal
are we allowed to discuss
and/or make fun of?

How about humans!
Looks like monkeys, tastes like pork.
And bad at haiku.

Perfume of Spring wind
Kimono drying on line
I stand here naked

Wind howling,"Eat me"
Cassowaries line dancing
Evil is afoot

Hospitality
Unexpected guests welcome
For you, I spread legs

Around the table
Pass the gravy. Pass the salt
I love eating cock!

Proboscis monkeys!
Like there's a cock their face.
The ladies love it!

Kim Jong's cum is good
But Donald Trump would agree
Putin's is better

Ghee Whiz, processed food.
Blessed by a Hindu priestess.
By pissing in it.

Please cease and desist
With the thing about the damn
Cassowary bird.

Doc says you have worms
Take this pill and you

Jasmine rice, old cheese
The belly dancer jiggles
Her cunt in your face

Customer Service
We did not like the ark ride
Cassowary bird

Golden horizon
I piss out of car window
The future is now

Much funny laughters
Big dildo assembly line
Take selfie with it

Cassowary Bird
We are flightless bird mofos
You must obey us!

Don't waste your eyesight
Look over this way at me
Look at my big eye

the joestars are suck
they make me want to throw up
muda muda wry

Teenage Figpucker
Masturbation in Session
"Got math homework, mom"

I think it should be
Something much more slippery
Perhaps you try ghee?

Butter or jelly
Which should I smear on my dick
When I masturbate?

How would you like to
suck out the cordial cherries.
They'll give you cancer.

Darth Fudgepacker guy
Package packed with chocolate
Back end Bon Bon Vox

Dad always called you
"Good for nothing, little shit!"
Born out the back end

Garden of Eden
Did people poop out the bum?
Did people have bums?

Someone once asked me
For my views on birth control
Stick to anal sex

Our cunts are sealed up
No more of that for you pigs
Go hump animals!

Blowjobs are awesome.
Retarded prostitutes too.
When you combine them...

Police in transit
Please stay on the line with us
Hide in your closet

Looked out my window
Something very suspicious
Enjoyment of life

You know what's up now
They've got the DNA swab
They see your crab lice

"To Serve and Protect"
In case of emergency
Dial 575

When I pulled your dink
You danced like you were walking
Across red hot coals

Bend it like Beckham
So you can reach my G spot
The crowd is cheering

Sexual soccer
Scoreless in regulation
Came in stoppage time