Howz your pecker?
Any meat left to the bone?
Have you sucked it dry?
by Anonymous Poet
How are you today,
you lovers of fine poetry
and other art forms!
by
In the beginning we were all fish
swimming around in the water.
And then one day a couple
of fish had a retard baby
and the retard baby was
different so it got to live.
The retard fish goes on to
make more retard babies.
And then one day a retard baby
fish crawled out of the ocean
with its... mutant fish hands
and it had butt sex with a
squirrel or something and it
made this... retard frog squirell.
And then that had a retard baby
which was a monkey-fish-frog.
And then this monkey-fish-frog
had butt sex with that monkey
and that monkey had a mutant
retard baby and screwed another
monkey and that made you.
So there you go.
You're the retarded offspring
of five monkeys having butt
sex with a fish-squirrel.
Congratulations.
by Mr. Garrison
gastropod anus.
or sticky anemones.
venomous; tempting.
by I'd screw an amoeba if it would fit.
Fornicating corn
Ejaculating jack fruit
"Cantaloupe tonight
by Dad of Car
Was it good for you?
Whispered in the tattered ear
American Flag
by Betsy Ross of Rolling over in grave
Dark cavernous cunt
Drip! Stalactites, Stalagmites
Ask me, I just might
by Ask about my Dick Cavett(y) of PBS
Cephalopod wank
High pitched octogasmic screams
Number 8 Fleshlight
by Entrepreneurs of Shark Tank
A little bit weird
Coating your erect penis
With Rice Krispie Treats
by Insignificant others of Breakfast nook
If the plane crashes
Big tunafied vagina
Asphyxiation
by Watching and waiting
Club to the noggin
Half hanging out of our cave
Suck!, wooly mammoth!
by Snuffalupugus
The great Cunts of Yor!
Dripping and gonorrheic.
Ne'er mind the yeast.
Thund'rous clapping sounds
Breaking up the blockages
To let the seed flow.
Lava for urine.
Or so it would seem as such.
Sire a fire demon.
The whore's blind children
run amok like animals,
shites hither and yon.
by df of year 15xx
Laverne and Shirley
Add penises and hair grease
Lenny and Squiggy
by Happy Days
Inquire within
Ask yourself a few questions
Answering service
by May I speak with the lady of the house of (deep masculine voice) This is she
Got my eye on you
Micromanaging your moves
Minding your business
by Nosy
A sexy hot girl
sat next to me on the bus.
And then I worried.
"Don't get a boner".
I kept thinking to myself.
She got a boner.
by Jeepney hell
A sexy hot girl
Red dress parasol- nice azz
Sat down next to me
Rabbit bus - pinay
Cleavage- oh yeah! big valley
No! don't eat balut!
by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
So this is the end
The last haiku I will write
Until the next one
by Starkitten of PNW
The secret to life
Don t forget to wipe your ass
Always wear a smile
by Anonymous Poet
The secret to life
Don
by Pointers
Men have penises?
Hateful cisgender bigot.
Stop spreading such lies.
by Male Members Excluded
For generations
The men in our family
Have had penises
by Tradition
Absentmindedly
Fondling big gooey rum balls
Set tree up again
by Christmas in March
Good old Fart of War
Best horse since Seattle Slew
Methane gas ASSist
by Horseface
Look me in the eye
Take ownership of that fart
Don't blame our poor dog
by Scene from a marriage
Close but no cigar
That would be "The Winds of War"
Made my eyes tear up
by Eggar Burton of Boom Boom Room
Sun Tzu: 'Art of War'
But when Figpucker read it,
it is 'Fart of War'
by Lao Tse of Yu Don't Tse
Go pick out a switch
From the old hickory tree
An old school time out
by Corp. Punishment
Drunk on bad haiku
Syllables got me spinning
I am gonna sick up
by Oliver You of You
Always comes to this
Good clothes lost to bad shitstains
Couldn
by Screaming Bloody Murder
Abandoned building
Moaning and groaning of ghosts
Scratch that, it
by Ima Scratchett , Crab lice HQ of Big office
(Silence)
by Dog whistle haiku of Frequency not heard by humans
Just do it yourself
You be the God you needed
When you needed God
by Atheistkitten
Is that your penis?
Standing there on my chair?
Almost sat on it
by About to be seated of Chair
What is my secret?
I
by Anonymous Poet
Best laugh of the day
That tickled my funny bone
Made me poop my pants
by Pooper
Urgent need to poop
is, for you, same as writing
another Haiku!
by Excrementally Void of Sacramentally Annoyed
Would a gizzard help
I wish humans had gizzards
What is a gizzard?
by Anonymous Poet
I'm feeling lazy
But I have diarrhea
Urgent need to poop
by Will I. Makeit
If I were a dog
I
by Friend
Wiping is a chore
It works out better for dogs
Clean as a whistle
by Anonymous Poet
Philippines burgers.
Three inch patty, thin and tough.
drenched in mayonaise.
Artificial "cheese"
green tomatoes, and an egg.
beyond disgusting.
by df
Sewage malfunction
Pulling on green hip waders
Swamp of baked beans
A creepy feeling
Tingling to the lower spine
Pasty soft serve stool
by How you doin? of On the can
I'd like pickles on
My Russia Nothingburger.
Thanks, Mr. Cohen.
by Two Years of Neurotic Projections
Blood-borne pathogens.
Injected by the liter.
Goddamn mosquitoes!
They are God's creatures.
I know from the simple fact
they cause misery.
by df of Now all we need is a new HIV strain carried by mosquitoes. Yippee!
I never get tired
So, bend over now fine sir
Time for ANAL PROBE
by Marvin of Behind you
Pigeon manure gone
Excrement like dried cement
Cleaned and pigeons killed
by Marvin
Took the liberty
I've stocked your glove compartment
With fine escargots
by Marvin (not Gay) of Sexual(in a robotic way) Healing
No worries, Hooman
Plenty of ejaculate
All credit to you
by Marvin's Car Detailing
