Laverne and Shirley
Add penises and hair grease
Lenny and Squiggy
by Happy Days
Inquire within
Ask yourself a few questions
Answering service
by May I speak with the lady of the house of (deep masculine voice) This is she
Got my eye on you
Micromanaging your moves
Minding your business
by Nosy
A sexy hot girl
sat next to me on the bus.
And then I worried.
"Don't get a boner".
I kept thinking to myself.
She got a boner.
by Jeepney hell
A sexy hot girl
Red dress parasol- nice azz
Sat down next to me
Rabbit bus - pinay
Cleavage- oh yeah! big valley
No! don't eat balut!
by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
So this is the end
The last haiku I will write
Until the next one
by Starkitten of PNW
The secret to life
Don t forget to wipe your ass
Always wear a smile
by Anonymous Poet
The secret to life
Don
by Pointers
Men have penises?
Hateful cisgender bigot.
Stop spreading such lies.
by Male Members Excluded
For generations
The men in our family
Have had penises
by Tradition
Absentmindedly
Fondling big gooey rum balls
Set tree up again
by Christmas in March
Good old Fart of War
Best horse since Seattle Slew
Methane gas ASSist
by Horseface
Look me in the eye
Take ownership of that fart
Don't blame our poor dog
by Scene from a marriage
Close but no cigar
That would be "The Winds of War"
Made my eyes tear up
by Eggar Burton of Boom Boom Room
Sun Tzu: 'Art of War'
But when Figpucker read it,
it is 'Fart of War'
by Lao Tse of Yu Don't Tse
Go pick out a switch
From the old hickory tree
An old school time out
by Corp. Punishment
Drunk on bad haiku
Syllables got me spinning
I am gonna sick up
by Oliver You of You
Always comes to this
Good clothes lost to bad shitstains
Couldn
by Screaming Bloody Murder
Abandoned building
Moaning and groaning of ghosts
Scratch that, it
by Ima Scratchett , Crab lice HQ of Big office
(Silence)
by Dog whistle haiku of Frequency not heard by humans
Just do it yourself
You be the God you needed
When you needed God
by Atheistkitten
Is that your penis?
Standing there on my chair?
Almost sat on it
by About to be seated of Chair
What is my secret?
I
by Anonymous Poet
Best laugh of the day
That tickled my funny bone
Made me poop my pants
by Pooper
Urgent need to poop
is, for you, same as writing
another Haiku!
by Excrementally Void of Sacramentally Annoyed
Would a gizzard help
I wish humans had gizzards
What is a gizzard?
by Anonymous Poet
I'm feeling lazy
But I have diarrhea
Urgent need to poop
by Will I. Makeit
If I were a dog
I
by Friend
Wiping is a chore
It works out better for dogs
Clean as a whistle
by Anonymous Poet
Philippines burgers.
Three inch patty, thin and tough.
drenched in mayonaise.
Artificial "cheese"
green tomatoes, and an egg.
beyond disgusting.
by df
Sewage malfunction
Pulling on green hip waders
Swamp of baked beans
A creepy feeling
Tingling to the lower spine
Pasty soft serve stool
by How you doin? of On the can
I'd like pickles on
My Russia Nothingburger.
Thanks, Mr. Cohen.
by Two Years of Neurotic Projections
Blood-borne pathogens.
Injected by the liter.
Goddamn mosquitoes!
They are God's creatures.
I know from the simple fact
they cause misery.
by df of Now all we need is a new HIV strain carried by mosquitoes. Yippee!
I never get tired
So, bend over now fine sir
Time for ANAL PROBE
by Marvin of Behind you
Pigeon manure gone
Excrement like dried cement
Cleaned and pigeons killed
by Marvin
Took the liberty
I've stocked your glove compartment
With fine escargots
by Marvin (not Gay) of Sexual(in a robotic way) Healing
No worries, Hooman
Plenty of ejaculate
All credit to you
by Marvin's Car Detailing
I hate to ask this.
Marvin, will you lube my car.
Watch the windshield.
by df
Wank wank clank clank yank
Wank wank wank clank clank wank wank
(Ejaculates grease)
by Marvin
French fried monkey meat
In a Cuntfart bouillabaisse
It's today's special
by Chef Poopstain
I tried escargot.
It was a long time ago.
It was too salty.
by df
Today would be fun
If I didn't have the shits
Please Lord make it stop
by Anonymous Poet
Haiku verse shall reign
Poetasters shall prevail.
God shall avenge us.
by Billy Collins
I'm growing a horn
Straight through the top of my head
Unbelievable
by No point in trying
No obligation
Try a new flavour each month
Vampire Tea Bag Club
by Country Cousin
This is a haiku
there is nothing else to say
Please feed me some cheese
by William of Cleveland, OH
Thought you'd like to know
Just another shitty day
Got diarrhea
Shitty day for
by Ugh
Morning Dilemma
Should I go back to sleep now?
Sleep walking through life
by Anita Knapp of Kaffeklatsch
The wife's looking good
Gives the husband morning wood
Keep the fire burning
by Loverboy
