Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 43 Days and 77437 Haiku later...

So this is the end
The last haiku I will write
Until the next one
Haiku # 62636, March 3, 2019 1:26 am ET
by Starkitten of PNW
The secret to life
Don t forget to wipe your ass
Always wear a smile
Haiku # 62635, March 3, 2019 1:24 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
The secret to life
Don
Haiku # 62634, March 3, 2019 1:23 am ET
by Pointers
Men have penises?
Hateful cisgender bigot.
Stop spreading such lies.
Haiku # 62633, March 2, 2019 9:25 pm ET
by Male Members Excluded
For generations
The men in our family
Have had penises
Haiku # 62632, March 2, 2019 8:34 pm ET
by Tradition
Absentmindedly
Fondling big gooey rum balls
Set tree up again
Haiku # 62631, March 2, 2019 8:31 pm ET
by Christmas in March
Good old Fart of War
Best horse since Seattle Slew
Methane gas ASSist
Haiku # 62630, March 2, 2019 8:21 pm ET
by Horseface
Look me in the eye
Take ownership of that fart
Don't blame our poor dog
Haiku # 62629, March 2, 2019 8:19 pm ET
by Scene from a marriage
Close but no cigar
That would be "The Winds of War"
Made my eyes tear up
Haiku # 62628, March 2, 2019 8:15 pm ET
by Eggar Burton of Boom Boom Room
Sun Tzu: 'Art of War'
But when Figpucker read it,
it is 'Fart of War'
Haiku # 62627, March 2, 2019 7:57 pm ET
by Lao Tse of Yu Don't Tse
Go pick out a switch
From the old hickory tree
An old school time out
Haiku # 62626, March 2, 2019 7:47 pm ET
by Corp. Punishment
Drunk on bad haiku
Syllables got me spinning
I am gonna sick up
Haiku # 62625, March 2, 2019 7:44 pm ET
by Oliver You of You
Always comes to this
Good clothes lost to bad shitstains
Couldn
Haiku # 62624, March 2, 2019 7:12 pm ET
by Screaming Bloody Murder
Abandoned building
Moaning and groaning of ghosts
Scratch that, it
Haiku # 62623, March 2, 2019 6:03 pm ET
by Ima Scratchett , Crab lice HQ of Big office
(Silence)
Haiku # 62622, March 2, 2019 5:54 pm ET
by Dog whistle haiku of Frequency not heard by humans
Just do it yourself
You be the God you needed
When you needed God
Haiku # 62621, March 2, 2019 5:49 pm ET
by Atheistkitten
Is that your penis?
Standing there on my chair?
Almost sat on it
Haiku # 62620, March 2, 2019 5:05 pm ET
by About to be seated of Chair
What is my secret?
I
Haiku # 62619, March 2, 2019 3:31 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Best laugh of the day
That tickled my funny bone
Made me poop my pants
Haiku # 62618, March 2, 2019 3:04 pm ET
by Pooper
Urgent need to poop
is, for you, same as writing
another Haiku!
Haiku # 62617, March 2, 2019 2:27 pm ET
by Excrementally Void of Sacramentally Annoyed
Would a gizzard help
I wish humans had gizzards
What is a gizzard?
Haiku # 62616, March 2, 2019 11:32 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
I'm feeling lazy
But I have diarrhea
Urgent need to poop
Haiku # 62615, March 2, 2019 11:12 am ET
by Will I. Makeit
If I were a dog
I
Haiku # 62614, March 2, 2019 12:34 am ET
by Friend
Wiping is a chore
It works out better for dogs
Clean as a whistle
Haiku # 62613, March 2, 2019 12:32 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Philippines burgers.
Three inch patty, thin and tough.
drenched in mayonaise.

Artificial "cheese"
green tomatoes, and an egg.
beyond disgusting.
Haiku # 62612, March 2, 2019 12:31 am ET
by df
Sewage malfunction
Pulling on green hip waders
Swamp of baked beans

A creepy feeling
Tingling to the lower spine
Pasty soft serve stool
Haiku # 62611, March 2, 2019 12:22 am ET
by How you doin? of On the can
I'd like pickles on
My Russia Nothingburger.
Thanks, Mr. Cohen.
Haiku # 62610, March 1, 2019 10:21 pm ET
by Two Years of Neurotic Projections
Blood-borne pathogens.
Injected by the liter.
Goddamn mosquitoes!

They are God's creatures.
I know from the simple fact
they cause misery.
Haiku # 62609, March 1, 2019 10:02 pm ET
by df of Now all we need is a new HIV strain carried by mosquitoes. Yippee!
I never get tired
So, bend over now fine sir
Time for ANAL PROBE
Haiku # 62608, March 1, 2019 5:45 pm ET
by Marvin of Behind you
Pigeon manure gone
Excrement like dried cement
Cleaned and pigeons killed
Haiku # 62607, March 1, 2019 5:43 pm ET
by Marvin
Took the liberty
I've stocked your glove compartment
With fine escargots
Haiku # 62606, March 1, 2019 5:41 pm ET
by Marvin (not Gay) of Sexual(in a robotic way) Healing
No worries, Hooman
Plenty of ejaculate
All credit to you
Haiku # 62605, March 1, 2019 5:39 pm ET
by Marvin's Car Detailing
I hate to ask this.
Marvin, will you lube my car.
Watch the windshield.
Haiku # 62604, March 1, 2019 4:53 pm ET
by df
Wank wank clank clank yank
Wank wank wank clank clank wank wank
(Ejaculates grease)
Haiku # 62603, March 1, 2019 4:25 pm ET
by Marvin
French fried monkey meat
In a Cuntfart bouillabaisse
It's today's special
Haiku # 62602, March 1, 2019 4:22 pm ET
by Chef Poopstain
I tried escargot.
It was a long time ago.
It was too salty.
Haiku # 62601, March 1, 2019 4:17 pm ET
by df
Today would be fun
If I didn't have the shits
Please Lord make it stop
Haiku # 62600, March 1, 2019 3:46 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Haiku verse shall reign
Poetasters shall prevail.
God shall avenge us.
Haiku # 62599, March 1, 2019 3:26 pm ET
by Billy Collins
I'm growing a horn
Straight through the top of my head
Unbelievable
Haiku # 62598, March 1, 2019 3:06 pm ET
by No point in trying
No obligation
Try a new flavour each month
Vampire Tea Bag Club
Haiku # 62597, March 1, 2019 2:21 pm ET
by Country Cousin
This is a haiku
there is nothing else to say
Please feed me some cheese
Haiku # 62596, March 1, 2019 2:14 pm ET
by William of Cleveland, OH
Thought you'd like to know
Just another shitty day
Got diarrhea
Shitty day for
Haiku # 62595, March 1, 2019 1:52 pm ET
by Ugh
Morning Dilemma
Should I go back to sleep now?
Sleep walking through life
Haiku # 62594, March 1, 2019 12:27 pm ET
by Anita Knapp of Kaffeklatsch
The wife's looking good
Gives the husband morning wood
Keep the fire burning
Haiku # 62593, March 1, 2019 6:57 am ET
by Loverboy
Matrimonial
Deflowering the hymen
Petal by petal
Haiku # 62592, March 1, 2019 6:53 am ET
by Crazy Daisy of Florist
Great bliss upon bliss
Marriage like well oiled machine
Lots of grease stains
Haiku # 62591, March 1, 2019 6:51 am ET
by Marvin Robot of 17 feet tall
Dear Robot Marvin,
Do you ejaculate grease?
Just how tall are you?
Haiku # 62590, March 1, 2019 6:48 am ET
by 17 feet tall? of Running in the other direction
God, I love your wife!
How was that, Matt Trimony.
Tell her I said hi.
Haiku # 62589, March 1, 2019 5:57 am ET
by Trimony rhymes with alimony... sort of.
Wife ass full of fat.
Husband ass farts and beer gas.
Roll over and sleep.
Haiku # 62588, March 1, 2019 5:56 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Asking for a friend.
He's my Robt Pal, Marvin.
He has a clean head.
Haiku # 62587, March 1, 2019 5:50 am ET
by 101010
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