Absentmindedly
Fondling big gooey rum balls
Set tree up again

Good old Fart of War
Best horse since Seattle Slew
Methane gas ASSist

Look me in the eye
Take ownership of that fart
Don't blame our poor dog

Close but no cigar
That would be "The Winds of War"
Made my eyes tear up

Sun Tzu: 'Art of War'
But when Figpucker read it,
it is 'Fart of War'

Go pick out a switch
From the old hickory tree
An old school time out

Drunk on bad haiku
Syllables got me spinning
I am gonna sick up

Always comes to this
Good clothes lost to bad shitstains
Couldn

Abandoned building
Moaning and groaning of ghosts
Scratch that, it

(Silence)

Just do it yourself
You be the God you needed
When you needed God

Is that your penis?
Standing there on my chair?
Almost sat on it

What is my secret?
I

Best laugh of the day
That tickled my funny bone
Made me poop my pants

Urgent need to poop
is, for you, same as writing
another Haiku!

Would a gizzard help
I wish humans had gizzards
What is a gizzard?

I'm feeling lazy
But I have diarrhea
Urgent need to poop

If I were a dog
I

Wiping is a chore
It works out better for dogs
Clean as a whistle

Philippines burgers.
Three inch patty, thin and tough.
drenched in mayonaise.

Artificial "cheese"
green tomatoes, and an egg.
beyond disgusting.

Sewage malfunction
Pulling on green hip waders
Swamp of baked beans

A creepy feeling
Tingling to the lower spine
Pasty soft serve stool

I'd like pickles on
My Russia Nothingburger.
Thanks, Mr. Cohen.

Blood-borne pathogens.
Injected by the liter.
Goddamn mosquitoes!

They are God's creatures.
I know from the simple fact
they cause misery.

I never get tired
So, bend over now fine sir
Time for ANAL PROBE

Pigeon manure gone
Excrement like dried cement
Cleaned and pigeons killed

Took the liberty
I've stocked your glove compartment
With fine escargots

No worries, Hooman
Plenty of ejaculate
All credit to you

I hate to ask this.
Marvin, will you lube my car.
Watch the windshield.

Wank wank clank clank yank
Wank wank wank clank clank wank wank
(Ejaculates grease)

French fried monkey meat
In a Cuntfart bouillabaisse
It's today's special

I tried escargot.
It was a long time ago.
It was too salty.

Today would be fun
If I didn't have the shits
Please Lord make it stop

Haiku verse shall reign
Poetasters shall prevail.
God shall avenge us.

I'm growing a horn
Straight through the top of my head
Unbelievable

No obligation
Try a new flavour each month
Vampire Tea Bag Club

This is a haiku
there is nothing else to say
Please feed me some cheese

Thought you'd like to know
Just another shitty day
Got diarrhea
Shitty day for

Morning Dilemma
Should I go back to sleep now?
Sleep walking through life

The wife's looking good
Gives the husband morning wood
Keep the fire burning

Matrimonial
Deflowering the hymen
Petal by petal

Great bliss upon bliss
Marriage like well oiled machine
Lots of grease stains

Dear Robot Marvin,
Do you ejaculate grease?
Just how tall are you?

God, I love your wife!
How was that, Matt Trimony.
Tell her I said hi.

Wife ass full of fat.
Husband ass farts and beer gas.
Roll over and sleep.

Asking for a friend.
He's my Robt Pal, Marvin.
He has a clean head.

Question: have any
of you ever jacked off to
poetry on here?

We don't all want it.
I think it is safe to say
only half want it.

You don't know what the word means. Cunnilingus. It rolls off the tongue and I just can't stop myself from going to the top of the world and yelling Cunnilingus!
Take a look around and see what the big deal is! We all want it and we want it now. I can round up my girls and we will storm the town square and demand Cunnilingus! Do not deny us our rightful enjoyment of Cunnilingus. You have been warned. You must set a good example for all the husbands.

Wife head full of love
Husband head poems and math
Easy solution

Oh, Christ, wife is here
posting about wanting head.
I am not surprised.

Why can't God kill me?!
Oh, that's right, he's a sick fuck.
Life keeps getting worse.