Bashō says something unhelpful
Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
29 Years, 68 Days and 78030 Haiku later...
No worries, Hooman
Plenty of ejaculate
All credit to you
Haiku # 62605 March 1, 2019 5:39 pm ET
by Marvin's Car Detailing
I hate to ask this.
Marvin, will you lube my car.
Watch the windshield.
Haiku # 62604 March 1, 2019 4:53 pm ET
by df
Wank wank clank clank yank
Wank wank wank clank clank wank wank
(Ejaculates grease)
Haiku # 62603 March 1, 2019 4:25 pm ET
by Marvin
French fried monkey meat
In a Cuntfart bouillabaisse
It's today's special
Haiku # 62602 March 1, 2019 4:22 pm ET
by Chef Poopstain
I tried escargot.
It was a long time ago.
It was too salty.
Haiku # 62601 March 1, 2019 4:17 pm ET
by df
Today would be fun
If I didn't have the shits
Please Lord make it stop
Haiku # 62600 March 1, 2019 3:46 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Haiku verse shall reign
Poetasters shall prevail.
God shall avenge us.
Haiku # 62599 March 1, 2019 3:26 pm ET
by Billy Collins
I'm growing a horn
Straight through the top of my head
Unbelievable
Haiku # 62598 March 1, 2019 3:06 pm ET
by No point in trying
No obligation
Try a new flavour each month
Vampire Tea Bag Club
Haiku # 62597 March 1, 2019 2:21 pm ET
by Country Cousin
This is a haiku
there is nothing else to say
Please feed me some cheese
Haiku # 62596 March 1, 2019 2:14 pm ET
by William of Cleveland, OH
Thought you'd like to know
Just another shitty day
Got diarrhea
Shitty day for
Haiku # 62595 March 1, 2019 1:52 pm ET
by Ugh
Morning Dilemma
Should I go back to sleep now?
Sleep walking through life
Haiku # 62594 March 1, 2019 12:27 pm ET
by Anita Knapp of Kaffeklatsch
The wife's looking good
Gives the husband morning wood
Keep the fire burning
Haiku # 62593 March 1, 2019 6:57 am ET
by Loverboy
Matrimonial
Deflowering the hymen
Petal by petal
Haiku # 62592 March 1, 2019 6:53 am ET
by Crazy Daisy of Florist
Great bliss upon bliss
Marriage like well oiled machine
Lots of grease stains
Haiku # 62591 March 1, 2019 6:51 am ET
by Marvin Robot of 17 feet tall
Dear Robot Marvin,
Do you ejaculate grease?
Just how tall are you?
Haiku # 62590 March 1, 2019 6:48 am ET
by 17 feet tall? of Running in the other direction
God, I love your wife!
How was that, Matt Trimony.
Tell her I said hi.
Haiku # 62589 March 1, 2019 5:57 am ET
by Trimony rhymes with alimony... sort of.
Wife ass full of fat.
Husband ass farts and beer gas.
Roll over and sleep.
Haiku # 62588 March 1, 2019 5:56 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Asking for a friend.
He's my Robt Pal, Marvin.
He has a clean head.
Haiku # 62587 March 1, 2019 5:50 am ET
by 101010
Question: have any
of you ever jacked off to
poetry on here?
Haiku # 62586 March 1, 2019 5:48 am ET
by df
We don't all want it.
I think it is safe to say
only half want it.
Haiku # 62585 March 1, 2019 5:46 am ET
by df
You don't know what the word means. Cunnilingus. It rolls off the tongue and I just can't stop myself from going to the top of the world and yelling Cunnilingus!
Take a look around and see what the big deal is! We all want it and we want it now. I can round up my girls and we will storm the town square and demand Cunnilingus! Do not deny us our rightful enjoyment of Cunnilingus. You have been warned. You must set a good example for all the husbands.
Haiku # 62584 March 1, 2019 2:14 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Wife head full of love
Husband head poems and math
Easy solution
Haiku # 62583 March 1, 2019 2:09 am ET
by Hurry Takeoffyourpants
Oh, Christ, wife is here
posting about wanting head.
I am not surprised.

Why can't God kill me?!
Oh, that's right, he's a sick fuck.
Life keeps getting worse.
Haiku # 62582 March 1, 2019 1:41 am ET
by df
Exterminators
We don't kill bugs with poison
We choke them to death
Haiku # 62581 March 1, 2019 12:08 am ET
by Hands On of More fun this way
Astronomical
It costs an arm and a leg
Then you walk funny
Haiku # 62580 March 1, 2019 12:03 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Bliss bliss bliss bliss bliss
Bliss bliss bliss bliss bliss bliss bliss
Bliss bliss bliss bliss bliss
Haiku # 62579 February 28, 2019 11:59 pm ET
by Blissed of Out
Go stand outside
Yell at the top of your lungs
God, I love my wife!
Haiku # 62578 February 28, 2019 11:52 pm ET
by Matt Trimony
Some cunnilingus
Open communication
Don't say it stinks though
Haiku # 62577 February 28, 2019 11:49 pm ET
by Free advice
Secret to marriage
Years of harmonious bliss
Guaranteed to work
Haiku # 62576 February 28, 2019 11:48 pm ET
by Tongue tied of Cunnilingus
On the chopping block
Your choice. Which one will it be?
Your head or penis?
Haiku # 62575 February 28, 2019 11:44 pm ET
by Freedom of choice
God bless the poets
Haiku wordsmiths on duty
Every single day
Haiku # 62574 February 28, 2019 11:40 pm ET
by Keep it up
Where is my pencil
It literally is gone
I am confusion
Haiku # 62573 February 28, 2019 11:29 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Polynomials
Seriously what the fuck
I wanna end me
Haiku # 62572 February 28, 2019 11:25 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
So I told my wife
each morning when I wake up
I wish I was dead.

She said "wow, me too!"
I asked her, "Really? Why would
you wish you were dead?"

She replied, "No, no!
I mean to say I also
wish that you were dead."
Haiku # 62571 February 28, 2019 11:17 pm ET
by df
Ah, yes, the South Park
"Red Rocket!" syndrome if you
like milking the dog.
Haiku # 62570 February 28, 2019 11:11 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Janitorial
What have your hands been in, dear?
High maintenance spouse
Haiku # 62569 February 28, 2019 7:29 pm ET
by Marital duties of Broom closet
Bills bills bills bills bills
Bills bills bills bills bills bills bills
Bills bills bills bills bills
Haiku # 62568 February 28, 2019 6:37 pm ET
by Bill
if I had a dink
I would wash it in the sink
So it wouldn't stink
Haiku # 62567 February 28, 2019 5:41 pm ET
by How's your dink?
You like dog organs.
Good for you, you free-thinker.
You are a pink boy.
Haiku # 62566 February 28, 2019 4:54 pm ET
by J.R. Bob Dobbs of Connie's Matrix
Let's talk dog ding dongs
I like to see hot pink ones
They brighten the day
Haiku # 62565 February 28, 2019 3:12 pm ET
by optimistic
Joe Rogan podcast
with InfoWars' Alex Jones:
Kaffeklatsch on speed.
Haiku # 62564 February 28, 2019 2:19 pm ET
by Chimera Hybrids of Human Harvesting by Extraterrestrial Elves
The rotten bastards
Fixing my rude hut hovel
Fool demons from hell..

These fookers can't
Do any GD thing right
And want my money
Haiku # 62563 February 28, 2019 2:03 pm ET
by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
Soul Harvest Project


These people do not exist
Soul husk replacements
Haiku # 62562 February 28, 2019 11:36 am ET
by Scaredykitten of Pnw
An abomination
Fritos scoop size chips
Regular size, please
Haiku # 62561 February 28, 2019 11:28 am ET
by Tuna fish sandwich of Fritos and orange juice
Techno-nerd prophets
Kraftwerk saw the future world
from the 70s
Haiku # 62560 February 28, 2019 8:25 am ET
by Operator of My Pocket Kalkulator
And if we stay here
We won't know what would happen
If we didn't stay
Haiku # 62559 February 27, 2019 11:17 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
New York tumbleweed
Cigarette butts, syringe, rat
Folded pizza slice
Haiku # 62558 February 27, 2019 11:15 pm ET
by Guido of Alley
Turned on by clunking
Hot assembly line gang bang
Kraftwerk on full blast
Haiku # 62557 February 27, 2019 8:10 pm ET
by I. Robot
When a bass fish poops,
would you call that a bass turd?
Ask a fisherman.

He'll hate you always.
Remembering you as that
damn bass turd bastard.
Haiku # 62556 February 27, 2019 7:14 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
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