Bashō says something unhelpful
Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
29 Years, 68 Days and 78030 Haiku later...
Soul Harvest Project


These people do not exist
Soul husk replacements
Haiku # 62562 February 28, 2019 11:36 am ET
by Scaredykitten of Pnw
An abomination
Fritos scoop size chips
Regular size, please
Haiku # 62561 February 28, 2019 11:28 am ET
by Tuna fish sandwich of Fritos and orange juice
Techno-nerd prophets
Kraftwerk saw the future world
from the 70s
Haiku # 62560 February 28, 2019 8:25 am ET
by Operator of My Pocket Kalkulator
And if we stay here
We won't know what would happen
If we didn't stay
Haiku # 62559 February 27, 2019 11:17 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
New York tumbleweed
Cigarette butts, syringe, rat
Folded pizza slice
Haiku # 62558 February 27, 2019 11:15 pm ET
by Guido of Alley
Turned on by clunking
Hot assembly line gang bang
Kraftwerk on full blast
Haiku # 62557 February 27, 2019 8:10 pm ET
by I. Robot
When a bass fish poops,
would you call that a bass turd?
Ask a fisherman.

He'll hate you always.
Remembering you as that
damn bass turd bastard.
Haiku # 62556 February 27, 2019 7:14 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Of course they jerk off.
But then what's their fantasy
while masturbating?

Robot dinosaurs?
Nuclear missile launch codes?
Drones killing humans?
Haiku # 62555 February 27, 2019 7:10 pm ET
by df
Recycled children.
My favorite Spam flavor.
Recycled spouse too.

Time for me to leave.
I'll be that bastard husband
that all women hate.
Haiku # 62554 February 27, 2019 7:05 pm ET
by df
No questions are dumb
Ok, here goes then.. I'll ask..
Do robots jerk off?
Haiku # 62553 February 27, 2019 6:36 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
seventeen feet tall
Don't ever answer your door
If the robot knocks
Haiku # 62552 February 27, 2019 6:20 pm ET
by Hide Inside
Barbershop quartet
Each one jerks off the other
Ticket sales are up
Haiku # 62551 February 27, 2019 6:18 pm ET
by Front row of Under tarp
Lifting a leg up
Urinating on all of it
Higher, Higher still!
Haiku # 62550 February 27, 2019 5:47 pm ET
by Dog Goals
Always push yourself
Not off the edge of a cliff
Let me push you then
Haiku # 62549 February 27, 2019 5:24 pm ET
by Pushovers
Ran out of room spray
STOOD IN MIDDLE OF THE ROOM
Made my own FartBreeze
Haiku # 62548 February 27, 2019 5:21 pm ET
by Fresh of Room
Today's the big day
Asking the boss for a raise
For my poetry
Haiku # 62547 February 27, 2019 5:19 pm ET
by Greedy
Getting to know me
It really takes a lifetime
I hardly know me
Haiku # 62546 February 27, 2019 3:25 pm ET
by Ya know?
I'm not gonna lie
Celebrating thirty years
Going commando
Haiku # 62545 February 27, 2019 3:23 pm ET
by Underwear?
No junk in my trunk
At least I don't think there is
Use it or lose it
Haiku # 62544 February 27, 2019 3:22 pm ET
by Lost it
You can't figure out
what plumbing God gave to you?
Well, let's have a look . . .
Haiku # 62543 February 27, 2019 3:02 pm ET
by You're Either Boy or Girl, but of course that is just too LIMITING for some of you rare creatures
I can't be bothered
Referring to you as "They"
I'll call you asshole
Haiku # 62542 February 27, 2019 2:20 pm ET
by Call me, maybe of Crazy
Manipulation
Our devices read our thoughts
Mould our behaviour
Haiku # 62541 February 27, 2019 2:17 pm ET
by Machines our Mothers of Seventeen Foot Tall Robots
Unpopular guest
Invite me over just once
I'll break your couch springs
Haiku # 62540 February 27, 2019 2:07 pm ET
by Sofa King unpopular of Home
Yesterday again
But they're calling it today
Coming soon: Tomorrow
Haiku # 62539 February 27, 2019 2:03 pm ET
by Not Iona Calendar of Here again
Wang Lofan: it's true,
we are trapped in the Bardo.
Kalpas surround us.

http://tinyurl.com/y6zzhvdq
Haiku # 62538 February 27, 2019 9:29 am ET
by Bard of the Bardo
try the biscotti
Repurposed as a doorstop
That's one smart cookie
Haiku # 62537 February 27, 2019 8:05 am ET
by Spread em
Deep in the forest
Grizzly bear readies himself
First shit of the Spring
Haiku # 62536 February 27, 2019 7:35 am ET
by Grizzledean
Remember that time
Grandpa mislaid his Werther's
In Grandma's dry cunt
Haiku # 62535 February 27, 2019 6:47 am ET
by Kid of Candy store
Buy wife new dildoes
Remember cunnilingus
Not just for Christmas
Haiku # 62534 February 27, 2019 6:01 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Chinese Factory
8 miles high on toxic fumes
Contagious laughter

Repetitive work
Our dildoes will serve you well
Heirloom quality

Cucumber for lunch
Pity to be unemployed
We love make dildoes
Haiku # 62533 February 27, 2019 5:57 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Each new day brings hope
For a less shittier day
Than the day before
Haiku # 62532 February 27, 2019 5:48 am ET
by Starkitten of Positive affirmations of a sexy librarian
If someone shot you
You'd get right back up again
And write a haiku
Haiku # 62531 February 27, 2019 5:34 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Can someone shoot me?
Life seems to keep getting worse.
I'd so like to die.

I'll cheat on my wife
then post pics of the affair
on my Facebook page.

I know that's cruel,
but cheaper than a hit man.
And I'd bust a nut.
Haiku # 62530 February 27, 2019 3:52 am ET
by df
Amish Friendship Bread
If I poop in the batter
Will we still be friends?
Haiku # 62529 February 27, 2019 1:22 am ET
by BFF
Don't call me Satan
Typographical error
My real name is Stan
Haiku # 62528 February 26, 2019 11:55 pm ET
by Stan of Hell
How bout mosquitoes
Are they the work of Satan?
Were 2 on the ark?
Haiku # 62527 February 26, 2019 11:53 pm ET
by To be continued
Under the big top
Five masturbating midgets
Human pyramid
Haiku # 62526 February 26, 2019 11:49 pm ET
by Pyramid of Spooge of Under the big top
You're under arrest.
You have the right to remain...
Just then I farted
Haiku # 62525 February 26, 2019 11:46 pm ET
by Loud and Proud of Jail
I'm proud of myself.
Smashed a big fat mosquito.
Guts on math papers.

It got everywhere
Poissonous distribution.
Randomly deceased.
Haiku # 62524 February 26, 2019 10:25 pm ET
by df
It's no mystery.
The meat is old and rotten.
Those aren't peppercorns.

Meat rises like bread.
Yeasty vinegar odor.
Beer, bread, and beaver.
Haiku # 62523 February 26, 2019 10:05 pm ET
by df
Tight squeeze in the lift
Suffocation is your fate
Supreme tuna melt
Haiku # 62522 February 26, 2019 5:28 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Mystery meat
Throbulating in your pants
Boot imprint that one
Haiku # 62521 February 26, 2019 5:26 pm ET
by Size 12 of Timberland
Her wings have been clipped
French beaking birdseed exchange
Bird uglies engorged
Haiku # 62520 February 26, 2019 5:21 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Chinese man fuck fat
American girl when go
in elevator.

This is Wong on so many levels.
Haiku # 62519 February 26, 2019 5:20 pm ET
by df
The work will be done
Midgets and dwarves dispatched now
No need to worry
Haiku # 62518 February 26, 2019 5:18 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Thinking of Miss Wing
When I left, I heard her say -Oh!
Fool! should have stayed!
Haiku # 62517 February 26, 2019 5:18 pm ET
by Rolang of TC New Mexico
Philippines steak house.
Seventy five percent fat.
Fifteen percent bone.

They don't know better.
They will die of heart attacks.
And thank God for that!
Haiku # 62516 February 26, 2019 5:15 pm ET
by df
Seems this really sucks
Sent to Tibetan Bardo
For my rascal sins

Purgatory like
You live in a leaky hut
for a black kalpa

You try to repair
Workmen in the hut pounding
For eternity
Haiku # 62515 February 26, 2019 5:12 pm ET
by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
The Holiday Inn
Encino, California
Boot imprint on steak
Haiku # 62514 February 26, 2019 5:01 pm ET
by Ida Mandarefund
A vow of silence
Most unholy flatulence
Under the brown Robe
Haiku # 62513 February 26, 2019 4:13 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
< 50 Less Recent Haiku 50 More Recent Haiku >