Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 43 Days and 77437 Haiku later...

seventeen feet tall
Don't ever answer your door
If the robot knocks
Haiku # 62552, February 27, 2019 6:20 pm ET
by Hide Inside
Barbershop quartet
Each one jerks off the other
Ticket sales are up
Haiku # 62551, February 27, 2019 6:18 pm ET
by Front row of Under tarp
Lifting a leg up
Urinating on all of it
Higher, Higher still!
Haiku # 62550, February 27, 2019 5:47 pm ET
by Dog Goals
Always push yourself
Not off the edge of a cliff
Let me push you then
Haiku # 62549, February 27, 2019 5:24 pm ET
by Pushovers
Ran out of room spray
STOOD IN MIDDLE OF THE ROOM
Made my own FartBreeze
Haiku # 62548, February 27, 2019 5:21 pm ET
by Fresh of Room
Today's the big day
Asking the boss for a raise
For my poetry
Haiku # 62547, February 27, 2019 5:19 pm ET
by Greedy
Getting to know me
It really takes a lifetime
I hardly know me
Haiku # 62546, February 27, 2019 3:25 pm ET
by Ya know?
I'm not gonna lie
Celebrating thirty years
Going commando
Haiku # 62545, February 27, 2019 3:23 pm ET
by Underwear?
No junk in my trunk
At least I don't think there is
Use it or lose it
Haiku # 62544, February 27, 2019 3:22 pm ET
by Lost it
You can't figure out
what plumbing God gave to you?
Well, let's have a look . . .
Haiku # 62543, February 27, 2019 3:02 pm ET
by You're Either Boy or Girl, but of course that is just too LIMITING for some of you rare creatures
I can't be bothered
Referring to you as "They"
I'll call you asshole
Haiku # 62542, February 27, 2019 2:20 pm ET
by Call me, maybe of Crazy
Manipulation
Our devices read our thoughts
Mould our behaviour
Haiku # 62541, February 27, 2019 2:17 pm ET
by Machines our Mothers of Seventeen Foot Tall Robots
Unpopular guest
Invite me over just once
I'll break your couch springs
Haiku # 62540, February 27, 2019 2:07 pm ET
by Sofa King unpopular of Home
Yesterday again
But they're calling it today
Coming soon: Tomorrow
Haiku # 62539, February 27, 2019 2:03 pm ET
by Not Iona Calendar of Here again
Wang Lofan: it's true,
we are trapped in the Bardo.
Kalpas surround us.

http://tinyurl.com/y6zzhvdq
Haiku # 62538, February 27, 2019 9:29 am ET
by Bard of the Bardo
try the biscotti
Repurposed as a doorstop
That's one smart cookie
Haiku # 62537, February 27, 2019 8:05 am ET
by Spread em
Deep in the forest
Grizzly bear readies himself
First shit of the Spring
Haiku # 62536, February 27, 2019 7:35 am ET
by Grizzledean
Remember that time
Grandpa mislaid his Werther's
In Grandma's dry cunt
Haiku # 62535, February 27, 2019 6:47 am ET
by Kid of Candy store
Buy wife new dildoes
Remember cunnilingus
Not just for Christmas
Haiku # 62534, February 27, 2019 6:01 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Chinese Factory
8 miles high on toxic fumes
Contagious laughter

Repetitive work
Our dildoes will serve you well
Heirloom quality

Cucumber for lunch
Pity to be unemployed
We love make dildoes
Haiku # 62533, February 27, 2019 5:57 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Each new day brings hope
For a less shittier day
Than the day before
Haiku # 62532, February 27, 2019 5:48 am ET
by Starkitten of Positive affirmations of a sexy librarian
If someone shot you
You'd get right back up again
And write a haiku
Haiku # 62531, February 27, 2019 5:34 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Can someone shoot me?
Life seems to keep getting worse.
I'd so like to die.

I'll cheat on my wife
then post pics of the affair
on my Facebook page.

I know that's cruel,
but cheaper than a hit man.
And I'd bust a nut.
Haiku # 62530, February 27, 2019 3:52 am ET
by df
Amish Friendship Bread
If I poop in the batter
Will we still be friends?
Haiku # 62529, February 27, 2019 1:22 am ET
by BFF
Don't call me Satan
Typographical error
My real name is Stan
Haiku # 62528, February 26, 2019 11:55 pm ET
by Stan of Hell
How bout mosquitoes
Are they the work of Satan?
Were 2 on the ark?
Haiku # 62527, February 26, 2019 11:53 pm ET
by To be continued
Under the big top
Five masturbating midgets
Human pyramid
Haiku # 62526, February 26, 2019 11:49 pm ET
by Pyramid of Spooge of Under the big top
You're under arrest.
You have the right to remain...
Just then I farted
Haiku # 62525, February 26, 2019 11:46 pm ET
by Loud and Proud of Jail
I'm proud of myself.
Smashed a big fat mosquito.
Guts on math papers.

It got everywhere
Poissonous distribution.
Randomly deceased.
Haiku # 62524, February 26, 2019 10:25 pm ET
by df
It's no mystery.
The meat is old and rotten.
Those aren't peppercorns.

Meat rises like bread.
Yeasty vinegar odor.
Beer, bread, and beaver.
Haiku # 62523, February 26, 2019 10:05 pm ET
by df
Tight squeeze in the lift
Suffocation is your fate
Supreme tuna melt
Haiku # 62522, February 26, 2019 5:28 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Mystery meat
Throbulating in your pants
Boot imprint that one
Haiku # 62521, February 26, 2019 5:26 pm ET
by Size 12 of Timberland
Her wings have been clipped
French beaking birdseed exchange
Bird uglies engorged
Haiku # 62520, February 26, 2019 5:21 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Chinese man fuck fat
American girl when go
in elevator.

This is Wong on so many levels.
Haiku # 62519, February 26, 2019 5:20 pm ET
by df
The work will be done
Midgets and dwarves dispatched now
No need to worry
Haiku # 62518, February 26, 2019 5:18 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Thinking of Miss Wing
When I left, I heard her say -Oh!
Fool! should have stayed!
Haiku # 62517, February 26, 2019 5:18 pm ET
by Rolang of TC New Mexico
Philippines steak house.
Seventy five percent fat.
Fifteen percent bone.

They don't know better.
They will die of heart attacks.
And thank God for that!
Haiku # 62516, February 26, 2019 5:15 pm ET
by df
Seems this really sucks
Sent to Tibetan Bardo
For my rascal sins

Purgatory like
You live in a leaky hut
for a black kalpa

You try to repair
Workmen in the hut pounding
For eternity
Haiku # 62515, February 26, 2019 5:12 pm ET
by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
The Holiday Inn
Encino, California
Boot imprint on steak
Haiku # 62514, February 26, 2019 5:01 pm ET
by Ida Mandarefund
A vow of silence
Most unholy flatulence
Under the brown Robe
Haiku # 62513, February 26, 2019 4:13 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Exaggeration
Autobiographical
Obituary
Haiku # 62512, February 26, 2019 3:14 pm ET
by #1
Nobody told us
We would spend most of our lives
Wishing we were dead
Haiku # 62511, February 26, 2019 2:24 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Everything I touch
From now I will touch nothing
Nothing will touch me
Haiku # 62510, February 26, 2019 2:16 pm ET
by Untouchable
I dreamt of midgets
Woke up with a huge boner
Live, love, and laugh loud
Haiku # 62509, February 26, 2019 2:12 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Hang fish on clothesline
I'll sit back with a
40 oz
Watch the seagulls feast
Haiku # 62508, February 26, 2019 2:09 pm ET
by Backyard
Colonoscopy
While I have your attention
Hear my sales pitch, please
Haiku # 62507, February 26, 2019 2:01 pm ET
by Salesman (yelled like in that Rush song) of Back Door
Those Chinese meatballs
Juggling chickens with bound feet
Rice stuck in my teeth
Haiku # 62506, February 26, 2019 1:58 pm ET
by Chop sueyfucker
Chinee, Japanee,
Dirty knee --- look at the way
I write great Haiku!
Haiku # 62505, February 26, 2019 12:44 pm ET
by Playground Kid of Recess in 4th Grade
Chinese Factory
Day of Official Laughter
See our Junk! HaHa!
Haiku # 62504, February 26, 2019 11:46 am ET
by Ahhhhhhh so of Behind slanty eyes
Venezuelan coup:
Petro-dollar-banker's brew;
C.I.A... you too?
Haiku # 62503, February 26, 2019 9:05 am ET
by Believe Everything You Hear
< 50 Less Recent Haiku 50 More Recent Haiku >