Ran out of room spray
STOOD IN MIDDLE OF THE ROOM
Made my own FartBreeze

Today's the big day
Asking the boss for a raise
For my poetry

Getting to know me
It really takes a lifetime
I hardly know me

I'm not gonna lie
Celebrating thirty years
Going commando

No junk in my trunk
At least I don't think there is
Use it or lose it

You can't figure out
what plumbing God gave to you?
Well, let's have a look . . .

I can't be bothered
Referring to you as "They"
I'll call you asshole

Manipulation
Our devices read our thoughts
Mould our behaviour

Unpopular guest
Invite me over just once
I'll break your couch springs

Yesterday again
But they're calling it today
Coming soon: Tomorrow

Wang Lofan: it's true,
we are trapped in the Bardo.
Kalpas surround us.

http://tinyurl.com/y6zzhvdq

try the biscotti
Repurposed as a doorstop
That's one smart cookie

Deep in the forest
Grizzly bear readies himself
First shit of the Spring

Remember that time
Grandpa mislaid his Werther's
In Grandma's dry cunt

Buy wife new dildoes
Remember cunnilingus
Not just for Christmas

Chinese Factory
8 miles high on toxic fumes
Contagious laughter

Repetitive work
Our dildoes will serve you well
Heirloom quality

Cucumber for lunch
Pity to be unemployed
We love make dildoes

Each new day brings hope
For a less shittier day
Than the day before

If someone shot you
You'd get right back up again
And write a haiku

Can someone shoot me?
Life seems to keep getting worse.
I'd so like to die.

I'll cheat on my wife
then post pics of the affair
on my Facebook page.

I know that's cruel,
but cheaper than a hit man.
And I'd bust a nut.

Amish Friendship Bread
If I poop in the batter
Will we still be friends?

Don't call me Satan
Typographical error
My real name is Stan

How bout mosquitoes
Are they the work of Satan?
Were 2 on the ark?

Under the big top
Five masturbating midgets
Human pyramid

You're under arrest.
You have the right to remain...
Just then I farted

I'm proud of myself.
Smashed a big fat mosquito.
Guts on math papers.

It got everywhere
Poissonous distribution.
Randomly deceased.

It's no mystery.
The meat is old and rotten.
Those aren't peppercorns.

Meat rises like bread.
Yeasty vinegar odor.
Beer, bread, and beaver.

Tight squeeze in the lift
Suffocation is your fate
Supreme tuna melt

Mystery meat
Throbulating in your pants
Boot imprint that one

Her wings have been clipped
French beaking birdseed exchange
Bird uglies engorged

Chinese man fuck fat
American girl when go
in elevator.

This is Wong on so many levels.

The work will be done
Midgets and dwarves dispatched now
No need to worry

Thinking of Miss Wing
When I left, I heard her say -Oh!
Fool! should have stayed!

Philippines steak house.
Seventy five percent fat.
Fifteen percent bone.

They don't know better.
They will die of heart attacks.
And thank God for that!

Seems this really sucks
Sent to Tibetan Bardo
For my rascal sins

Purgatory like
You live in a leaky hut
for a black kalpa

You try to repair
Workmen in the hut pounding
For eternity

The Holiday Inn
Encino, California
Boot imprint on steak

A vow of silence
Most unholy flatulence
Under the brown Robe

Exaggeration
Autobiographical
Obituary

Nobody told us
We would spend most of our lives
Wishing we were dead

Everything I touch
From now I will touch nothing
Nothing will touch me

I dreamt of midgets
Woke up with a huge boner
Live, love, and laugh loud

Hang fish on clothesline
I'll sit back with a
40 oz
Watch the seagulls feast

Colonoscopy
While I have your attention
Hear my sales pitch, please

Those Chinese meatballs
Juggling chickens with bound feet
Rice stuck in my teeth

Chinee, Japanee,
Dirty knee --- look at the way
I write great Haiku!

Chinese Factory
Day of Official Laughter
See our Junk! HaHa!

Venezuelan coup:
Petro-dollar-banker's brew;
C.I.A... you too?

Christianity;
The man who invented it
should be crucified.

Cannibalism
is okay, just think of it
as recycling.

The old millionaire
Paid for some moo goo gai pan
Then the cops arrived

Family recipe
The secret ingredient
Granny