Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 43 Days and 77437 Haiku later...

Morning Dilemma
Should I go back to sleep now?
Sleep walking through life
Haiku # 62594, March 1, 2019 12:27 pm ET
by Anita Knapp of Kaffeklatsch
The wife's looking good
Gives the husband morning wood
Keep the fire burning
Haiku # 62593, March 1, 2019 6:57 am ET
by Loverboy
Matrimonial
Deflowering the hymen
Petal by petal
Haiku # 62592, March 1, 2019 6:53 am ET
by Crazy Daisy of Florist
Great bliss upon bliss
Marriage like well oiled machine
Lots of grease stains
Haiku # 62591, March 1, 2019 6:51 am ET
by Marvin Robot of 17 feet tall
Dear Robot Marvin,
Do you ejaculate grease?
Just how tall are you?
Haiku # 62590, March 1, 2019 6:48 am ET
by 17 feet tall? of Running in the other direction
God, I love your wife!
How was that, Matt Trimony.
Tell her I said hi.
Haiku # 62589, March 1, 2019 5:57 am ET
by Trimony rhymes with alimony... sort of.
Wife ass full of fat.
Husband ass farts and beer gas.
Roll over and sleep.
Haiku # 62588, March 1, 2019 5:56 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Asking for a friend.
He's my Robt Pal, Marvin.
He has a clean head.
Haiku # 62587, March 1, 2019 5:50 am ET
by 101010
Question: have any
of you ever jacked off to
poetry on here?
Haiku # 62586, March 1, 2019 5:48 am ET
by df
We don't all want it.
I think it is safe to say
only half want it.
Haiku # 62585, March 1, 2019 5:46 am ET
by df
You don't know what the word means. Cunnilingus. It rolls off the tongue and I just can't stop myself from going to the top of the world and yelling Cunnilingus!
Take a look around and see what the big deal is! We all want it and we want it now. I can round up my girls and we will storm the town square and demand Cunnilingus! Do not deny us our rightful enjoyment of Cunnilingus. You have been warned. You must set a good example for all the husbands.
Haiku # 62584, March 1, 2019 2:14 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Wife head full of love
Husband head poems and math
Easy solution
Haiku # 62583, March 1, 2019 2:09 am ET
by Hurry Takeoffyourpants
Oh, Christ, wife is here
posting about wanting head.
I am not surprised.

Why can't God kill me?!
Oh, that's right, he's a sick fuck.
Life keeps getting worse.
Haiku # 62582, March 1, 2019 1:41 am ET
by df
Exterminators
We don't kill bugs with poison
We choke them to death
Haiku # 62581, March 1, 2019 12:08 am ET
by Hands On of More fun this way
Astronomical
It costs an arm and a leg
Then you walk funny
Haiku # 62580, March 1, 2019 12:03 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Bliss bliss bliss bliss bliss
Bliss bliss bliss bliss bliss bliss bliss
Bliss bliss bliss bliss bliss
Haiku # 62579, February 28, 2019 11:59 pm ET
by Blissed of Out
Go stand outside
Yell at the top of your lungs
God, I love my wife!
Haiku # 62578, February 28, 2019 11:52 pm ET
by Matt Trimony
Some cunnilingus
Open communication
Don't say it stinks though
Haiku # 62577, February 28, 2019 11:49 pm ET
by Free advice
Secret to marriage
Years of harmonious bliss
Guaranteed to work
Haiku # 62576, February 28, 2019 11:48 pm ET
by Tongue tied of Cunnilingus
On the chopping block
Your choice. Which one will it be?
Your head or penis?
Haiku # 62575, February 28, 2019 11:44 pm ET
by Freedom of choice
God bless the poets
Haiku wordsmiths on duty
Every single day
Haiku # 62574, February 28, 2019 11:40 pm ET
by Keep it up
Where is my pencil
It literally is gone
I am confusion
Haiku # 62573, February 28, 2019 11:29 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Polynomials
Seriously what the fuck
I wanna end me
Haiku # 62572, February 28, 2019 11:25 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
So I told my wife
each morning when I wake up
I wish I was dead.

She said "wow, me too!"
I asked her, "Really? Why would
you wish you were dead?"

She replied, "No, no!
I mean to say I also
wish that you were dead."
Haiku # 62571, February 28, 2019 11:17 pm ET
by df
Ah, yes, the South Park
"Red Rocket!" syndrome if you
like milking the dog.
Haiku # 62570, February 28, 2019 11:11 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Janitorial
What have your hands been in, dear?
High maintenance spouse
Haiku # 62569, February 28, 2019 7:29 pm ET
by Marital duties of Broom closet
Bills bills bills bills bills
Bills bills bills bills bills bills bills
Bills bills bills bills bills
Haiku # 62568, February 28, 2019 6:37 pm ET
by Bill
if I had a dink
I would wash it in the sink
So it wouldn't stink
Haiku # 62567, February 28, 2019 5:41 pm ET
by How's your dink?
You like dog organs.
Good for you, you free-thinker.
You are a pink boy.
Haiku # 62566, February 28, 2019 4:54 pm ET
by J.R. Bob Dobbs of Connie's Matrix
Let's talk dog ding dongs
I like to see hot pink ones
They brighten the day
Haiku # 62565, February 28, 2019 3:12 pm ET
by optimistic
Joe Rogan podcast
with InfoWars' Alex Jones:
Kaffeklatsch on speed.
Haiku # 62564, February 28, 2019 2:19 pm ET
by Chimera Hybrids of Human Harvesting by Extraterrestrial Elves
The rotten bastards
Fixing my rude hut hovel
Fool demons from hell..

These fookers can't
Do any GD thing right
And want my money
Haiku # 62563, February 28, 2019 2:03 pm ET
by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
Soul Harvest Project


These people do not exist
Soul husk replacements
Haiku # 62562, February 28, 2019 11:36 am ET
by Scaredykitten of Pnw
An abomination
Fritos scoop size chips
Regular size, please
Haiku # 62561, February 28, 2019 11:28 am ET
by Tuna fish sandwich of Fritos and orange juice
Techno-nerd prophets
Kraftwerk saw the future world
from the 70s
Haiku # 62560, February 28, 2019 8:25 am ET
by Operator of My Pocket Kalkulator
And if we stay here
We won't know what would happen
If we didn't stay
Haiku # 62559, February 27, 2019 11:17 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
New York tumbleweed
Cigarette butts, syringe, rat
Folded pizza slice
Haiku # 62558, February 27, 2019 11:15 pm ET
by Guido of Alley
Turned on by clunking
Hot assembly line gang bang
Kraftwerk on full blast
Haiku # 62557, February 27, 2019 8:10 pm ET
by I. Robot
When a bass fish poops,
would you call that a bass turd?
Ask a fisherman.

He'll hate you always.
Remembering you as that
damn bass turd bastard.
Haiku # 62556, February 27, 2019 7:14 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Of course they jerk off.
But then what's their fantasy
while masturbating?

Robot dinosaurs?
Nuclear missile launch codes?
Drones killing humans?
Haiku # 62555, February 27, 2019 7:10 pm ET
by df
Recycled children.
My favorite Spam flavor.
Recycled spouse too.

Time for me to leave.
I'll be that bastard husband
that all women hate.
Haiku # 62554, February 27, 2019 7:05 pm ET
by df
No questions are dumb
Ok, here goes then.. I'll ask..
Do robots jerk off?
Haiku # 62553, February 27, 2019 6:36 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
seventeen feet tall
Don't ever answer your door
If the robot knocks
Haiku # 62552, February 27, 2019 6:20 pm ET
by Hide Inside
Barbershop quartet
Each one jerks off the other
Ticket sales are up
Haiku # 62551, February 27, 2019 6:18 pm ET
by Front row of Under tarp
Lifting a leg up
Urinating on all of it
Higher, Higher still!
Haiku # 62550, February 27, 2019 5:47 pm ET
by Dog Goals
Always push yourself
Not off the edge of a cliff
Let me push you then
Haiku # 62549, February 27, 2019 5:24 pm ET
by Pushovers
Ran out of room spray
STOOD IN MIDDLE OF THE ROOM
Made my own FartBreeze
Haiku # 62548, February 27, 2019 5:21 pm ET
by Fresh of Room
Today's the big day
Asking the boss for a raise
For my poetry
Haiku # 62547, February 27, 2019 5:19 pm ET
by Greedy
Getting to know me
It really takes a lifetime
I hardly know me
Haiku # 62546, February 27, 2019 3:25 pm ET
by Ya know?
I'm not gonna lie
Celebrating thirty years
Going commando
Haiku # 62545, February 27, 2019 3:23 pm ET
by Underwear?
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