If I were a dog
I
by Friend
Wiping is a chore
It works out better for dogs
Clean as a whistle
by Anonymous Poet
Philippines burgers.
Three inch patty, thin and tough.
drenched in mayonaise.
Artificial "cheese"
green tomatoes, and an egg.
beyond disgusting.
by df
Sewage malfunction
Pulling on green hip waders
Swamp of baked beans
A creepy feeling
Tingling to the lower spine
Pasty soft serve stool
by How you doin? of On the can
I'd like pickles on
My Russia Nothingburger.
Thanks, Mr. Cohen.
by Two Years of Neurotic Projections
Blood-borne pathogens.
Injected by the liter.
Goddamn mosquitoes!
They are God's creatures.
I know from the simple fact
they cause misery.
by df of Now all we need is a new HIV strain carried by mosquitoes. Yippee!
I never get tired
So, bend over now fine sir
Time for ANAL PROBE
by Marvin of Behind you
Pigeon manure gone
Excrement like dried cement
Cleaned and pigeons killed
by Marvin
Took the liberty
I've stocked your glove compartment
With fine escargots
by Marvin (not Gay) of Sexual(in a robotic way) Healing
No worries, Hooman
Plenty of ejaculate
All credit to you
by Marvin's Car Detailing
I hate to ask this.
Marvin, will you lube my car.
Watch the windshield.
by df
Wank wank clank clank yank
Wank wank wank clank clank wank wank
(Ejaculates grease)
by Marvin
French fried monkey meat
In a Cuntfart bouillabaisse
It's today's special
by Chef Poopstain
I tried escargot.
It was a long time ago.
It was too salty.
by df
Today would be fun
If I didn't have the shits
Please Lord make it stop
by Anonymous Poet
Haiku verse shall reign
Poetasters shall prevail.
God shall avenge us.
by Billy Collins
I'm growing a horn
Straight through the top of my head
Unbelievable
by No point in trying
No obligation
Try a new flavour each month
Vampire Tea Bag Club
by Country Cousin
This is a haiku
there is nothing else to say
Please feed me some cheese
by William of Cleveland, OH
Thought you'd like to know
Just another shitty day
Got diarrhea
Shitty day for
by Ugh
Morning Dilemma
Should I go back to sleep now?
Sleep walking through life
by Anita Knapp of Kaffeklatsch
The wife's looking good
Gives the husband morning wood
Keep the fire burning
by Loverboy
Matrimonial
Deflowering the hymen
Petal by petal
by Crazy Daisy of Florist
Great bliss upon bliss
Marriage like well oiled machine
Lots of grease stains
by Marvin Robot of 17 feet tall
Dear Robot Marvin,
Do you ejaculate grease?
Just how tall are you?
by 17 feet tall? of Running in the other direction
God, I love your wife!
How was that, Matt Trimony.
Tell her I said hi.
by Trimony rhymes with alimony... sort of.
Wife ass full of fat.
Husband ass farts and beer gas.
Roll over and sleep.
by Anonymous Poet
Asking for a friend.
He's my Robt Pal, Marvin.
He has a clean head.
by 101010
Question: have any
of you ever jacked off to
poetry on here?
by df
We don't all want it.
I think it is safe to say
only half want it.
by df
You don't know what the word means. Cunnilingus. It rolls off the tongue and I just can't stop myself from going to the top of the world and yelling Cunnilingus!
Take a look around and see what the big deal is! We all want it and we want it now. I can round up my girls and we will storm the town square and demand Cunnilingus! Do not deny us our rightful enjoyment of Cunnilingus. You have been warned. You must set a good example for all the husbands.
by Anonymous Poet
Wife head full of love
Husband head poems and math
Easy solution
by Hurry Takeoffyourpants
Oh, Christ, wife is here
posting about wanting head.
I am not surprised.
Why can't God kill me?!
Oh, that's right, he's a sick fuck.
Life keeps getting worse.
by df
Exterminators
We don't kill bugs with poison
We choke them to death
by Hands On of More fun this way
Astronomical
It costs an arm and a leg
Then you walk funny
by Anonymous Poet
Bliss bliss bliss bliss bliss
Bliss bliss bliss bliss bliss bliss bliss
Bliss bliss bliss bliss bliss
by Blissed of Out
Go stand outside
Yell at the top of your lungs
God, I love my wife!
by Matt Trimony
Some cunnilingus
Open communication
Don't say it stinks though
by Free advice
Secret to marriage
Years of harmonious bliss
Guaranteed to work
by Tongue tied of Cunnilingus
On the chopping block
Your choice. Which one will it be?
Your head or penis?
by Freedom of choice
God bless the poets
Haiku wordsmiths on duty
Every single day
by Keep it up
Where is my pencil
It literally is gone
I am confusion
by Anonymous Poet
Polynomials
Seriously what the fuck
I wanna end me
by Anonymous Poet
So I told my wife
each morning when I wake up
I wish I was dead.
She said "wow, me too!"
I asked her, "Really? Why would
you wish you were dead?"
She replied, "No, no!
I mean to say I also
wish that you were dead."
by df
Ah, yes, the South Park
"Red Rocket!" syndrome if you
like milking the dog.
by Anonymous Poet
Janitorial
What have your hands been in, dear?
High maintenance spouse
by Marital duties of Broom closet
Bills bills bills bills bills
Bills bills bills bills bills bills bills
Bills bills bills bills bills
by Bill
if I had a dink
I would wash it in the sink
So it wouldn't stink
by How's your dink?
You like dog organs.
Good for you, you free-thinker.
You are a pink boy.
by J.R. Bob Dobbs of Connie's Matrix
Let's talk dog ding dongs
I like to see hot pink ones
They brighten the day
by optimistic
