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I am VHS
You also are VHS
We are VHS!

I foretell future !
Figpucker shall write haiku
about shit. And stuff . . .

Gillette self-destruct:
Nanny-state selling razors.
Grow beard. Shut up, mom.

Toxic masculine!
Wat a fooking joke aiiii yaaa!
Yes, dat's wat she said.

Burning Tiger Hao!
The people learn the truth-
From realized man.

Communists debunked
And forced to see hard truth
Old Kwan Kung approves!

Democrat commies
Useless idiots and tools
Destroy our country

Like in Caracas.
In Cuba- Cambodia
You work to destroy

Then you live in it
Eat your pets, zoo animals
How you like Mao now?

Wong, you might like this...
It's something I wrote myself
Concerning Commies:

https://tinyurl.com/y9pzvobb

Wong is so stupid
Thinks all dems are communists
Really vhs?

Che wuz awesome, man...
He played the drums, didn't he?
No, wait -- he played bass.

Fidel: architect
of true island liberty;
Cuban paradise

Lenin. Great singer.
Wrote most of the Beatle's songs.
Pop revolution.

Pol Pot? Not too sure.
If it's pot . . . u can smoke it.
Cambodian herb !

Larry Moe Curly
They had sizeable ding dongs
Shemp blew huge spooge

Mao was a poet
And a murdering sumvitch
Burned the ancient books

Now he smokes in hell
with Lenin and old Stalin
and dead Commie Che

All of them killers
Worshiped by brain dead leftists
Who don't have a clue

Wong, haiku brother:
Let us quell the rising tide
With five-seven-five

Off to get coffee
Hot as hell and black as sin!
Girl-bring it to me!

Don't go Bolshevik!
Or useless new Democrat-
Communist bastards!

Don't go Bolshevik
Or new Democrat
Communist bastards..

Crystal coffee girl
Has a magnificent rear
Sad.. so far from here.

Need

Many many fries
All our favorite foods are here
Come on, admit it

Clueless leftist youth
trade their birthright for pottage smoking Marxist pot

Lo-fi wi-fi ku
Hit the road take a hike ku
Left-wing right-wing ku

Bureaucratic bloat
Calls for drastic dieting;
Extend the shutdown!

Poem residue
The clue led to your arrest
Bad Haiku Killer

I so love my ku
be it hi or goodbye ku
Go on and try ku

Just got pulled over
There goes my Ubereats pay
Many, many cold fries

Stop fighting about G O D
That dude hates all of us
No argument there

Wedding day blues
Walking down the aisle, farting
Till death, you'll share farts

Cafeteria
This time drink milk up your nose
You crave attention

Fetal alcohol
Feral children of two drunks
They all had pin heads

Lofan, nude, at door
Bearing coffee and doughnuts
Phallus of Ring Toss

Barnyard behemoth
Birdbrain challenge to screw it
Snorting, Raging Bull

By day I hoist hay
Finger fuck farmer's daughter
Until the cock's crow

Stopped for sustenance
Rotten crane eggs guzzled raw
Flexing my muscle

I alone, a god
raise high the bleeding trophy:
Haiku's severed head.

If could crank out
Six bad haikus per second
I sure would do it.

If Lofan turns out
to be Figpucker again
I will have a cow

Can't stop just can't stop
I need more and more RIGHT NOW
Oh God, bring it on

Busty Bus, ye are
nuthin' more than a HARLOT,
you foul Jezebel

Now PREACH IT, sister.
Haiku goin' to bring them down
to the pit of HAIL !

Haiku done bit me!
Oh Lordy I jess caint stop.
Clem, pass that bottle . . .

I remember you
I was hoping you

It was proof of God.
(Just like that Norwegian girl
With the grape lip-gloss)

On that bus to AZ:
Guadalupe Huerta was her name
She sat next to me...

Old Lofan . . . alone.
Contemplating Aztec boobs
from wise mountain-view.

French fried monkey meat
Compliments of the house, sir
World's Oldest Virgin

Lofan tell tall tales
Penis never been unwrapped
Now past Best Buy Date