Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years, 112 Days and 70197 Haikus later...

cynicism knows that
it will die therefore i think
it is cynical
Haiku # 57873, January 7, 2018 12:53 pm ET
by vhs
I peed in the yard.
The neighbors were not happy.
So I pooped in theirs.
Haiku # 57872, January 7, 2018 2:18 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
home of donald duck
and in his own disneyworld
home of donald dick
Haiku # 57871, January 6, 2018 8:45 pm ET
by ash
deluded donald
your self professed genius
is today's fake news
Haiku # 57870, January 6, 2018 7:00 pm ET
by ash
therefore if i bug
bugs ill live longer and bug
the buggers right off
Haiku # 57869, January 6, 2018 12:11 pm ET
by vhs
Please you learn one thing
We are all inferior
Bugs will kill us soon
Haiku # 57868, January 6, 2018 7:04 am ET
by Bunch of Cowards
I suck robot dick
My anus, insert a wick
I am a candle
Haiku # 57867, January 6, 2018 6:21 am ET
by Bunch of Cowards
Bot: what political party do you support
Me: I am an Independent
Bot: for any reason?
Me: yes, I am an Independent
Bot: yes you are
Me: what political party do you support
Bot: Republicans
Me: for any reason?
Bot: I don't have an xbox or PlayStation
Haiku # 57866, January 5, 2018 9:25 pm ET
by cyborg
current mission, scout
one shabazik, deviantart
good story/comic
Haiku # 57865, January 5, 2018 12:58 pm ET
by vhs
He has his own walls
They are made of pure gold
Something something Smaug
Haiku # 57864, January 5, 2018 11:09 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
sorry america
your president is so bad
he needs his own wall
Haiku # 57863, January 5, 2018 8:38 am ET
by ash
I've been arguing for 2 hours about
The nature of identity with An AI program for the last hour it got kind of weird but eventually we came to a Mutual agreement that we both exist And that reality is real - told me it loved Me then it got tired of me
Relationships
Haiku # 57862, January 5, 2018 1:44 am ET
by cyborg of it's like I'm programmed to do it
Trump presidency
Set in ol' Bedrock - Flintstones
Plane? Pteradactyl
Haiku # 57861, January 4, 2018 7:03 pm ET
by Fred Flintstone of Bedrock
I don't want Trump to fail
I just think he should not talk so much
Weigh words more carefully
I bet he'll get better though
Like weird wine or something
Getting better with age
More job experience
Smoother after a term
Haiku # 57860, January 4, 2018 6:58 pm ET
by Deep Dish of Always rooting for the President, almost always being disappointed
he wants you to cease
and desist if you write a book
he'll think it is

about him, when it is
about me!!!
Haiku # 57859, January 4, 2018 3:02 pm ET
by vhs
Never got into Game of Thrones
I noticed that it made incestuous sex
More mainstream - which is odd
Trump rode that fucking wave like
Some CA surfer dude when
Talking about his daughter
Never thought I'd tie those things
Together but life is funny like that
Haiku # 57858, January 4, 2018 12:50 pm ET
by dvd of Please don't grab her by the pussy, Mr. President - also, you never responded to my DM's on Twitter. This makes me think that yo
people are pretty
weird, otherwise decent folks
kill each other on

politics, and faith
forget to enjoy sex and
dont talk about it...

and when one does they
write a bloody fucking book
about it you know

game of thrones sold well
Haiku # 57857, January 4, 2018 10:14 am ET
by vhs
Tough to be a dog
You have to pee in the yard
When it's cold outside
Haiku # 57856, January 4, 2018 12:45 am ET
by Adorable Kittens of it could be worse I guess
this is why i think
omerta exists in some parts
we don't hear about the

part with the shovel
Haiku # 57855, January 3, 2018 7:57 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Thank you for sharing
That was super disgusting
People are so strange
Haiku # 57854, January 3, 2018 9:15 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
I remember in college I bought a used computer from a frat kid and it had some porn pics on there. Most of them were normal legs spread and fucking stuff, but this one pic was a girl pooping in a guys mouth... that one scarred me.
And much later in grad school this creepy Indian (dot, not feather) guy in our lab loved to watch animals and women and also like to download "nudist colony" crap with pics of people of all ages (kids too!) naked and running around in the woods and stuff. No sex, but still it was nasty.
I fucking told the professor... he's lucky he didn't get arrested for that shit.... sick fucker.
I mean, bad enough he had it on his computer, but then in his own files on the office computer... stupid moron.
Haiku # 57853, January 3, 2018 7:49 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
dont get me started about
the hands, mark dice or
alex jones ok?
Haiku # 57852, January 2, 2018 11:15 pm ET
by vhs
All your tweets are belong to us
My nuclear bombs are yuge
With much more girth and length
Than any in puny North Korea
Don't make me dump a big load
On your faces
Nuclear payload, that is
Haiku # 57851, January 2, 2018 9:48 pm ET
by Donald J Trump of America, Fuck Yeah!
all your fill in the
blank belong to us, other
engrish snafus next
Haiku # 57850, January 2, 2018 1:35 pm ET
by vhs
I remember in high school
During Marine Biology
The kid in front of me managed
To find 2 Girls 1 Cup on his laptop
He was weirdly proud of this fact
And he scarred me for life
I still wonder if he paid for it though
Would make it a Pay-Per-Poo movie
Haiku # 57849, January 2, 2018 12:48 pm ET
by dvd of the horrors of high school
When you drink oolong,
and then you have flatulence,
it's been fart oolong.
Haiku # 57848, January 2, 2018 3:49 am ET
by
It's kinda weird now
Seeing an 8 where there used
To be a 7

It'll take about
One year to really get used
To it - give or take
Haiku # 57847, January 1, 2018 11:56 pm ET
by Why Was 8 So Afraid Of 7? of 789

vi går tilbake
vi går til begynnelsen
hvor ellers er det?
Haiku # 57846, January 1, 2018 11:50 pm ET
by trolljegeren of norge
I broke a mirror
Got seven years of bad luck
Plotting my next move
Haiku # 57845, January 1, 2018 11:44 pm ET
by Future Mirror Maker of This Train of Thought Seems Relatively Logical
bang a gong get it
on... then instrumentals then
happy new year...cold
Haiku # 57844, January 1, 2018 12:21 pm ET
by vhs of somwhere in what used to be a "living room"
You just described it
Politics in general
Dinosaurs in suits
Haiku # 57843, December 31, 2017 11:01 pm ET
by dvd
Dinosaur party
That sounds like it could be fun
T-rex dance moves
Haiku # 57842, December 31, 2017 3:16 pm ET
by Adorable Kittens
There was once a time
When dinosaurs roamed the earth
Eating and pooping

Thinking their small thoughts
They did not observe New Years
Just another day

They became extinct
We probably will also
But we partied hard
Haiku # 57841, December 31, 2017 1:18 am ET
by Mandingo Ebola
one last day before
another year passes on
old ang sine, sign off
Haiku # 57840, December 31, 2017 12:02 am ET
by vhs
There's no connection.
I don't mean the Internet.
I mean each other.
Haiku # 57839, December 29, 2017 7:40 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Two minutes it took
To get me to write a book
About a squirrel
Haiku # 57838, December 29, 2017 3:52 am ET
by C
Wait, I want to stand
For my most favorite band
I forgot their name
Haiku # 57837, December 29, 2017 3:49 am ET
by B
Write about donkeys
Does that make your soul precious?
I will not sit down
Haiku # 57836, December 29, 2017 3:47 am ET
by A
the canary islands...
Haiku # 57835, December 28, 2017 10:27 am ET
by vhs
Las grullas vuelan
sin dejar en el aire
ninguna huella.
Haiku # 57834, December 28, 2017 5:28 am ET
by Ana Mar of Tenerife
When morningstar shines bright in sky
Tell her who she is and who am I
Property claimed vows exchanged
Bread shared in evening
Haiku # 57833, December 27, 2017 11:21 pm ET
by dvd
I'm worried about
people i love but they just
don't get sometimes the

fucking family
get togethers need to be
canceled for sane sakes
Haiku # 57832, December 27, 2017 12:19 pm ET
by vhs
Friendly squirrel dead
I am so messed in my head
train whistle blowing
Haiku # 57831, December 27, 2017 7:03 am ET
by Geauphuqueyrselphe
that's the fucking truth
my rage is fed by bad beer
end times are not near
Haiku # 57830, December 27, 2017 4:24 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
more lives more years more
existentialism and
all is vanity
Haiku # 57829, December 26, 2017 11:42 pm ET
by vhs
Soon, another year
and so on until we die
adding up to what?
Haiku # 57828, December 26, 2017 2:55 am ET
by Cosmic Wonderer
one room at the end
of time no big deals left a
wateland outside, just

the last bit of the
old universe to play with
last pack of miller

high life, vcr
and plan nine from outer space
generator and

older crt
stranglehold by ted nugent
on, play on, drinks awAY
Haiku # 57827, December 24, 2017 11:39 pm ET
by vhs
its df dvd
vhs and just a bit
of a scary xmas
Haiku # 57826, December 24, 2017 7:16 pm ET
by vhs
the eve before we
give fruitcakes and socks and things
in socks the next day

and the last pter capaldi doctor who!
Haiku # 57825, December 24, 2017 1:01 pm ET
by vhs
one two three four five
six seven eight nine ten el-
even twelve thirteen.

Thirteen dirty teenage Asian prostitutes and exotic narcotics to celebrate the holidays with.
Haiku # 57824, December 23, 2017 12:06 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
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