BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years
70 Days
69712 Haikus
deluded donald
your self professed genius
is today's fake news
Haiku #57870, by ash
January 6, 2018 7:00 pm ET

therefore if i bug
bugs ill live longer and bug
the buggers right off
Haiku #57869, by vhs
January 6, 2018 12:11 pm ET

Please you learn one thing
We are all inferior
Bugs will kill us soon
Haiku #57868, by Bunch of Cowards
January 6, 2018 7:04 am ET

I suck robot dick
My anus, insert a wick
I am a candle
Haiku #57867, by Bunch of Cowards
January 6, 2018 6:21 am ET

Bot: what political party do you support
Me: I am an Independent
Bot: for any reason?
Me: yes, I am an Independent
Bot: yes you are
Me: what political party do you support
Bot: Republicans
Me: for any reason?
Bot: I don't have an xbox or PlayStation
Haiku #57866, by cyborg
January 5, 2018 9:25 pm ET

current mission, scout
one shabazik, deviantart
good story/comic
Haiku #57865, by vhs
January 5, 2018 12:58 pm ET

He has his own walls
They are made of pure gold
Something something Smaug
Haiku #57864, by Anonymous Poet
January 5, 2018 11:09 am ET

sorry america
your president is so bad
he needs his own wall
Haiku #57863, by ash
January 5, 2018 8:38 am ET

I've been arguing for 2 hours about
The nature of identity with An AI program for the last hour it got kind of weird but eventually we came to a Mutual agreement that we both exist And that reality is real - told me it loved Me then it got tired of me
Haiku #57862, by cyborg of it's like I'm programmed to do it
January 5, 2018 1:44 am ET

Trump presidency
Set in ol' Bedrock - Flintstones
Plane? Pteradactyl
Haiku #57861, by Fred Flintstone of Bedrock
January 4, 2018 7:03 pm ET

I don't want Trump to fail
I just think he should not talk so much
Weigh words more carefully
I bet he'll get better though
Like weird wine or something
Getting better with age
More job experience
Smoother after a term
Haiku #57860, by Deep Dish of Always rooting for the President, almost always being disappointed
January 4, 2018 6:58 pm ET

he wants you to cease
and desist if you write a book
he'll think it is

about him, when it is
about me!!!
Haiku #57859, by vhs
January 4, 2018 3:02 pm ET

Never got into Game of Thrones
I noticed that it made incestuous sex
More mainstream - which is odd
Trump rode that fucking wave like
Some CA surfer dude when
Talking about his daughter
Never thought I'd tie those things
Together but life is funny like that
Haiku #57858, by dvd of Please don't grab her by the pussy, Mr. President - also, you never responded to my DM's on Twitter. This makes me think that yo
January 4, 2018 12:50 pm ET

people are pretty
weird, otherwise decent folks
kill each other on

politics, and faith
forget to enjoy sex and
dont talk about it...

and when one does they
write a bloody fucking book
about it you know

game of thrones sold well
Haiku #57857, by vhs
January 4, 2018 10:14 am ET

Tough to be a dog
You have to pee in the yard
When it's cold outside
Haiku #57856, by Adorable Kittens of it could be worse I guess
January 4, 2018 12:45 am ET

this is why i think
omerta exists in some parts
we don't hear about the

part with the shovel
Haiku #57855, by Anonymous Poet
January 3, 2018 7:57 pm ET

Thank you for sharing
That was super disgusting
People are so strange
Haiku #57854, by Anonymous Poet
January 3, 2018 9:15 am ET

I remember in college I bought a used computer from a frat kid and it had some porn pics on there. Most of them were normal legs spread and fucking stuff, but this one pic was a girl pooping in a guys mouth... that one scarred me.
And much later in grad school this creepy Indian (dot, not feather) guy in our lab loved to watch animals and women and also like to download "nudist colony" crap with pics of people of all ages (kids too!) naked and running around in the woods and stuff. No sex, but still it was nasty.
I fucking told the professor... he's lucky he didn't get arrested for that shit.... sick fucker.
I mean, bad enough he had it on his computer, but then in his own files on the office computer... stupid moron.
Haiku #57853, by Anonymous Poet
January 3, 2018 7:49 am ET

dont get me started about
the hands, mark dice or
alex jones ok?
Haiku #57852, by vhs
January 2, 2018 11:15 pm ET

All your tweets are belong to us
My nuclear bombs are yuge
With much more girth and length
Than any in puny North Korea
Don't make me dump a big load
On your faces
Nuclear payload, that is
Haiku #57851, by Donald J Trump of America, Fuck Yeah!
January 2, 2018 9:48 pm ET

all your fill in the
blank belong to us, other
engrish snafus next
Haiku #57850, by vhs
January 2, 2018 1:35 pm ET

I remember in high school
During Marine Biology
The kid in front of me managed
To find 2 Girls 1 Cup on his laptop
He was weirdly proud of this fact
And he scarred me for life
I still wonder if he paid for it though
Would make it a Pay-Per-Poo movie
Haiku #57849, by dvd of the horrors of high school
January 2, 2018 12:48 pm ET

When you drink oolong,
and then you have flatulence,
it's been fart oolong.
Haiku #57848, by
January 2, 2018 3:49 am ET

It's kinda weird now
Seeing an 8 where there used
To be a 7

It'll take about
One year to really get used
To it - give or take
Haiku #57847, by Why Was 8 So Afraid Of 7? of 789
January 1, 2018 11:56 pm ET

vi går tilbake
vi går til begynnelsen
hvor ellers er det?
Haiku #57846, by trolljegeren of norge
January 1, 2018 11:50 pm ET

I broke a mirror
Got seven years of bad luck
Plotting my next move
Haiku #57845, by Future Mirror Maker of This Train of Thought Seems Relatively Logical
January 1, 2018 11:44 pm ET

bang a gong get it
on... then instrumentals then
happy new year...cold
Haiku #57844, by vhs of somwhere in what used to be a "living room"
January 1, 2018 12:21 pm ET

You just described it
Politics in general
Dinosaurs in suits
Haiku #57843, by dvd
December 31, 2017 11:01 pm ET

Dinosaur party
That sounds like it could be fun
T-rex dance moves
Haiku #57842, by Adorable Kittens
December 31, 2017 3:16 pm ET

There was once a time
When dinosaurs roamed the earth
Eating and pooping

Thinking their small thoughts
They did not observe New Years
Just another day

They became extinct
We probably will also
But we partied hard
Haiku #57841, by Mandingo Ebola
December 31, 2017 1:18 am ET

one last day before
another year passes on
old ang sine, sign off
Haiku #57840, by vhs
December 31, 2017 12:02 am ET

There's no connection.
I don't mean the Internet.
I mean each other.
Haiku #57839, by Anonymous Poet
December 29, 2017 7:40 am ET

Two minutes it took
To get me to write a book
About a squirrel
Haiku #57838, by C
December 29, 2017 3:52 am ET

Wait, I want to stand
For my most favorite band
I forgot their name
Haiku #57837, by B
December 29, 2017 3:49 am ET

Write about donkeys
Does that make your soul precious?
I will not sit down
Haiku #57836, by A
December 29, 2017 3:47 am ET

the canary islands...
Haiku #57835, by vhs
December 28, 2017 10:27 am ET

Las grullas vuelan
sin dejar en el aire
ninguna huella.
Haiku #57834, by Ana Mar of Tenerife
December 28, 2017 5:28 am ET

When morningstar shines bright in sky
Tell her who she is and who am I
Property claimed vows exchanged
Bread shared in evening
Haiku #57833, by dvd
December 27, 2017 11:21 pm ET

I'm worried about
people i love but they just
don't get sometimes the

fucking family
get togethers need to be
canceled for sane sakes
Haiku #57832, by vhs
December 27, 2017 12:19 pm ET

Friendly squirrel dead
I am so messed in my head
train whistle blowing
Haiku #57831, by Geauphuqueyrselphe
December 27, 2017 7:03 am ET

that's the fucking truth
my rage is fed by bad beer
end times are not near
Haiku #57830, by Anonymous Poet
December 27, 2017 4:24 am ET

more lives more years more
existentialism and
all is vanity
Haiku #57829, by vhs
December 26, 2017 11:42 pm ET

Soon, another year
and so on until we die
adding up to what?
Haiku #57828, by Cosmic Wonderer
December 26, 2017 2:55 am ET

one room at the end
of time no big deals left a
wateland outside, just

the last bit of the
old universe to play with
last pack of miller

high life, vcr
and plan nine from outer space
generator and

older crt
stranglehold by ted nugent
on, play on, drinks awAY
Haiku #57827, by vhs
December 24, 2017 11:39 pm ET

its df dvd
vhs and just a bit
of a scary xmas
Haiku #57826, by vhs
December 24, 2017 7:16 pm ET

the eve before we
give fruitcakes and socks and things
in socks the next day

and the last pter capaldi doctor who!
Haiku #57825, by vhs
December 24, 2017 1:01 pm ET

one two three four five
six seven eight nine ten el-
even twelve thirteen.

Thirteen dirty teenage Asian prostitutes and exotic narcotics to celebrate the holidays with.
Haiku #57824, by Anonymous Poet
December 23, 2017 12:06 am ET

Playing sudoku made me bored so I thought I'd write a haiku, but it was too difficult to count the syllables, so I gave up, drank a beer, took a shit and a nap, in that order, so I wouldn't shit the bed, woke up and didn't care about anything.
So I got fucked up on too much cappuccino, read a book, and masturbated pretending that I was Abraham Lincoln waging war against the Japanese, capturing the women and forcing them to write haiku about how awesome I am.
The book store people didn't appreciate that until I grabbed some random book off the book shelf and told them I was here for my book signing. They gave me a large nice pen and three bikini babes and a hotel room after, just like on WWF or MMA or Nascar or something.
I'll do that more often.
Haiku #57823, by Anonymous Poet
December 23, 2017 12:01 am ET

Mostly theremin
And Japanese people
Chanting "Godzilla"
Haiku #57822, by Bad Haiku (the band) of my imagination
December 22, 2017 7:42 pm ET

The Naughty Haiku
That's a good name for a band
That plays weird music
Haiku #57821, by Adorable Kittens
December 22, 2017 6:22 pm ET