I've been arguing for 2 hours about
The nature of identity with An AI program for the last hour it got kind of weird but eventually we came to a Mutual agreement that we both exist And that reality is real - told me it loved Me then it got tired of me
Relationships

Trump presidency
Set in ol' Bedrock - Flintstones
Plane? Pteradactyl

I don't want Trump to fail
I just think he should not talk so much
Weigh words more carefully
I bet he'll get better though
Like weird wine or something
Getting better with age
More job experience
Smoother after a term

he wants you to cease
and desist if you write a book
he'll think it is

about him, when it is
about me!!!

Never got into Game of Thrones
I noticed that it made incestuous sex
More mainstream - which is odd
Trump rode that fucking wave like
Some CA surfer dude when
Talking about his daughter
Never thought I'd tie those things
Together but life is funny like that

people are pretty
weird, otherwise decent folks
kill each other on

politics, and faith
forget to enjoy sex and
dont talk about it...

and when one does they
write a bloody fucking book
about it you know

game of thrones sold well

Tough to be a dog
You have to pee in the yard
When it's cold outside

this is why i think
omerta exists in some parts
we don't hear about the

part with the shovel

Thank you for sharing
That was super disgusting
People are so strange

I remember in college I bought a used computer from a frat kid and it had some porn pics on there. Most of them were normal legs spread and fucking stuff, but this one pic was a girl pooping in a guys mouth... that one scarred me.
And much later in grad school this creepy Indian (dot, not feather) guy in our lab loved to watch animals and women and also like to download "nudist colony" crap with pics of people of all ages (kids too!) naked and running around in the woods and stuff. No sex, but still it was nasty.
I fucking told the professor... he's lucky he didn't get arrested for that shit.... sick fucker.
I mean, bad enough he had it on his computer, but then in his own files on the office computer... stupid moron.

dont get me started about
the hands, mark dice or
alex jones ok?

All your tweets are belong to us
My nuclear bombs are yuge
With much more girth and length
Than any in puny North Korea
Don't make me dump a big load
On your faces
Nuclear payload, that is

all your fill in the
blank belong to us, other
engrish snafus next

I remember in high school
During Marine Biology
The kid in front of me managed
To find 2 Girls 1 Cup on his laptop
He was weirdly proud of this fact
And he scarred me for life
I still wonder if he paid for it though
Would make it a Pay-Per-Poo movie

When you drink oolong,
and then you have flatulence,
it's been fart oolong.

It's kinda weird now
Seeing an 8 where there used
To be a 7

It'll take about
One year to really get used
To it - give or take

vi går tilbake
vi går til begynnelsen
hvor ellers er det?

I broke a mirror
Got seven years of bad luck
Plotting my next move

bang a gong get it
on... then instrumentals then
happy new year...cold

You just described it
Politics in general
Dinosaurs in suits

Dinosaur party
That sounds like it could be fun
T-rex dance moves

There was once a time
When dinosaurs roamed the earth
Eating and pooping

Thinking their small thoughts
They did not observe New Years
Just another day

They became extinct
We probably will also
But we partied hard

one last day before
another year passes on
old ang sine, sign off

There's no connection.
I don't mean the Internet.
I mean each other.

Two minutes it took
To get me to write a book
About a squirrel

Wait, I want to stand
For my most favorite band
I forgot their name

Write about donkeys
Does that make your soul precious?
I will not sit down

the canary islands...

Las grullas vuelan
sin dejar en el aire
ninguna huella.

When morningstar shines bright in sky
Tell her who she is and who am I
Property claimed vows exchanged
Bread shared in evening

I'm worried about
people i love but they just
don't get sometimes the

fucking family
get togethers need to be
canceled for sane sakes

Friendly squirrel dead
I am so messed in my head
train whistle blowing

that's the fucking truth
my rage is fed by bad beer
end times are not near

more lives more years more
existentialism and
all is vanity

Soon, another year
and so on until we die
adding up to what?

one room at the end
of time no big deals left a
wateland outside, just

the last bit of the
old universe to play with
last pack of miller

high life, vcr
and plan nine from outer space
generator and

older crt
stranglehold by ted nugent
on, play on, drinks awAY

its df dvd
vhs and just a bit
of a scary xmas

the eve before we
give fruitcakes and socks and things
in socks the next day

and the last pter capaldi doctor who!

one two three four five
six seven eight nine ten el-
even twelve thirteen.

Thirteen dirty teenage Asian prostitutes and exotic narcotics to celebrate the holidays with.

Playing sudoku made me bored so I thought I'd write a haiku, but it was too difficult to count the syllables, so I gave up, drank a beer, took a shit and a nap, in that order, so I wouldn't shit the bed, woke up and didn't care about anything.
So I got fucked up on too much cappuccino, read a book, and masturbated pretending that I was Abraham Lincoln waging war against the Japanese, capturing the women and forcing them to write haiku about how awesome I am.
The book store people didn't appreciate that until I grabbed some random book off the book shelf and told them I was here for my book signing. They gave me a large nice pen and three bikini babes and a hotel room after, just like on WWF or MMA or Nascar or something.
I'll do that more often.

Mostly theremin
And Japanese people
Chanting "Godzilla"

The Naughty Haiku
That's a good name for a band
That plays weird music

well if there's bad and
i mean bad haiku what of
the naughty haiku?

I went to go pee,
but the door said "gentlemen".
So I went outside.

All new Hasbro
Action figure manger scene.
Kung fu grip Joseph.

Silicone boob jobs
look absolutely stupid,
like big silly cones.

I won't lie but I
Tell truths unbelievable
To my enemies

Evil tobacco
You are a bad thing for me
Hop you go away

Yet

That clay pot is smashed
And my family's broken
I'm not a healer