Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years, 153 Days and 70445 Haikus later...

I remember in college I bought a used computer from a frat kid and it had some porn pics on there. Most of them were normal legs spread and fucking stuff, but this one pic was a girl pooping in a guys mouth... that one scarred me.
And much later in grad school this creepy Indian (dot, not feather) guy in our lab loved to watch animals and women and also like to download "nudist colony" crap with pics of people of all ages (kids too!) naked and running around in the woods and stuff. No sex, but still it was nasty.
I fucking told the professor... he's lucky he didn't get arrested for that shit.... sick fucker.
I mean, bad enough he had it on his computer, but then in his own files on the office computer... stupid moron.
Haiku # 57853, January 3, 2018 7:49 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
dont get me started about
the hands, mark dice or
alex jones ok?
Haiku # 57852, January 2, 2018 11:15 pm ET
by vhs
All your tweets are belong to us
My nuclear bombs are yuge
With much more girth and length
Than any in puny North Korea
Don't make me dump a big load
On your faces
Nuclear payload, that is
Haiku # 57851, January 2, 2018 9:48 pm ET
by Donald J Trump of America, Fuck Yeah!
all your fill in the
blank belong to us, other
engrish snafus next
Haiku # 57850, January 2, 2018 1:35 pm ET
by vhs
I remember in high school
During Marine Biology
The kid in front of me managed
To find 2 Girls 1 Cup on his laptop
He was weirdly proud of this fact
And he scarred me for life
I still wonder if he paid for it though
Would make it a Pay-Per-Poo movie
Haiku # 57849, January 2, 2018 12:48 pm ET
by dvd of the horrors of high school
When you drink oolong,
and then you have flatulence,
it's been fart oolong.
Haiku # 57848, January 2, 2018 3:49 am ET
by
It's kinda weird now
Seeing an 8 where there used
To be a 7

It'll take about
One year to really get used
To it - give or take
Haiku # 57847, January 1, 2018 11:56 pm ET
by Why Was 8 So Afraid Of 7? of 789

vi går tilbake
vi går til begynnelsen
hvor ellers er det?
Haiku # 57846, January 1, 2018 11:50 pm ET
by trolljegeren of norge
I broke a mirror
Got seven years of bad luck
Plotting my next move
Haiku # 57845, January 1, 2018 11:44 pm ET
by Future Mirror Maker of This Train of Thought Seems Relatively Logical
bang a gong get it
on... then instrumentals then
happy new year...cold
Haiku # 57844, January 1, 2018 12:21 pm ET
by vhs of somwhere in what used to be a "living room"
You just described it
Politics in general
Dinosaurs in suits
Haiku # 57843, December 31, 2017 11:01 pm ET
by dvd
Dinosaur party
That sounds like it could be fun
T-rex dance moves
Haiku # 57842, December 31, 2017 3:16 pm ET
by Adorable Kittens
There was once a time
When dinosaurs roamed the earth
Eating and pooping

Thinking their small thoughts
They did not observe New Years
Just another day

They became extinct
We probably will also
But we partied hard
Haiku # 57841, December 31, 2017 1:18 am ET
by Mandingo Ebola
one last day before
another year passes on
old ang sine, sign off
Haiku # 57840, December 31, 2017 12:02 am ET
by vhs
There's no connection.
I don't mean the Internet.
I mean each other.
Haiku # 57839, December 29, 2017 7:40 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Two minutes it took
To get me to write a book
About a squirrel
Haiku # 57838, December 29, 2017 3:52 am ET
by C
Wait, I want to stand
For my most favorite band
I forgot their name
Haiku # 57837, December 29, 2017 3:49 am ET
by B
Write about donkeys
Does that make your soul precious?
I will not sit down
Haiku # 57836, December 29, 2017 3:47 am ET
by A
the canary islands...
Haiku # 57835, December 28, 2017 10:27 am ET
by vhs
Las grullas vuelan
sin dejar en el aire
ninguna huella.
Haiku # 57834, December 28, 2017 5:28 am ET
by Ana Mar of Tenerife
When morningstar shines bright in sky
Tell her who she is and who am I
Property claimed vows exchanged
Bread shared in evening
Haiku # 57833, December 27, 2017 11:21 pm ET
by dvd
I'm worried about
people i love but they just
don't get sometimes the

fucking family
get togethers need to be
canceled for sane sakes
Haiku # 57832, December 27, 2017 12:19 pm ET
by vhs
Friendly squirrel dead
I am so messed in my head
train whistle blowing
Haiku # 57831, December 27, 2017 7:03 am ET
by Geauphuqueyrselphe
that's the fucking truth
my rage is fed by bad beer
end times are not near
Haiku # 57830, December 27, 2017 4:24 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
more lives more years more
existentialism and
all is vanity
Haiku # 57829, December 26, 2017 11:42 pm ET
by vhs
Soon, another year
and so on until we die
adding up to what?
Haiku # 57828, December 26, 2017 2:55 am ET
by Cosmic Wonderer
one room at the end
of time no big deals left a
wateland outside, just

the last bit of the
old universe to play with
last pack of miller

high life, vcr
and plan nine from outer space
generator and

older crt
stranglehold by ted nugent
on, play on, drinks awAY
Haiku # 57827, December 24, 2017 11:39 pm ET
by vhs
its df dvd
vhs and just a bit
of a scary xmas
Haiku # 57826, December 24, 2017 7:16 pm ET
by vhs
the eve before we
give fruitcakes and socks and things
in socks the next day

and the last pter capaldi doctor who!
Haiku # 57825, December 24, 2017 1:01 pm ET
by vhs
one two three four five
six seven eight nine ten el-
even twelve thirteen.

Thirteen dirty teenage Asian prostitutes and exotic narcotics to celebrate the holidays with.
Haiku # 57824, December 23, 2017 12:06 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Playing sudoku made me bored so I thought I'd write a haiku, but it was too difficult to count the syllables, so I gave up, drank a beer, took a shit and a nap, in that order, so I wouldn't shit the bed, woke up and didn't care about anything.
So I got fucked up on too much cappuccino, read a book, and masturbated pretending that I was Abraham Lincoln waging war against the Japanese, capturing the women and forcing them to write haiku about how awesome I am.
The book store people didn't appreciate that until I grabbed some random book off the book shelf and told them I was here for my book signing. They gave me a large nice pen and three bikini babes and a hotel room after, just like on WWF or MMA or Nascar or something.
I'll do that more often.
Haiku # 57823, December 23, 2017 12:01 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Mostly theremin
And Japanese people
Chanting "Godzilla"
Haiku # 57822, December 22, 2017 7:42 pm ET
by Bad Haiku (the band) of my imagination
The Naughty Haiku
That's a good name for a band
That plays weird music
Haiku # 57821, December 22, 2017 6:22 pm ET
by Adorable Kittens
well if there's bad and
i mean bad haiku what of
the naughty haiku?
Haiku # 57820, December 22, 2017 1:48 pm ET
by vhs
I went to go pee,
but the door said "gentlemen".
So I went outside.
Haiku # 57819, December 22, 2017 8:15 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
All new Hasbro
Action figure manger scene.
Kung fu grip Joseph.
Haiku # 57818, December 22, 2017 8:14 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Silicone boob jobs
look absolutely stupid,
like big silly cones.
Haiku # 57817, December 22, 2017 8:12 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
I won't lie but I
Tell truths unbelievable
To my enemies
Haiku # 57816, December 21, 2017 11:21 pm ET
by Adam Ben Adam
Evil tobacco
You are a bad thing for me
Hop you go away
Haiku # 57815, December 21, 2017 11:21 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Yet
Haiku # 57814, December 21, 2017 6:33 pm ET
by Adam Ben Adam
That clay pot is smashed
And my family's broken
I'm not a healer
Haiku # 57813, December 21, 2017 6:33 pm ET
by Adam Ben Adam
Some sign contracts
With the devil, I work for the other guy
And I'm going to sign on the dotted line
Haiku # 57812, December 21, 2017 1:09 pm ET
by Adam Ben Adam
It's the end of time
Has been for quite a while now
Nothing stays the same
Haiku # 57811, December 21, 2017 1:07 pm ET
by dvd
saracatic jokes will
be with humanity till
tne end of the world

because of the end of the world
Haiku # 57810, December 21, 2017 12:07 pm ET
by vhs
screw you guys..im going
home
Haiku # 57809, December 21, 2017 10:03 am ET
by cartman
Freehold Retorno
Is the captcha phrase for this
A perfect first line
Haiku # 57808, December 21, 2017 1:14 am ET
by Adorable Kittens
You've got to watch out
If you go to Canada
Scott is such a dick!
Haiku # 57807, December 20, 2017 4:44 pm ET
by Kyle Broflovski of South Park, CO
Mr Hankey saves!
Praise him and sing Howdy Ho!
You smell like flowers.
Haiku # 57806, December 19, 2017 4:41 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
no comprende
Haiku # 57805, December 19, 2017 12:27 pm ET
by vhs
Mal Hacienda
Yo no deseo taco
Americano
Haiku # 57804, December 19, 2017 1:01 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
< 50 Less Recent Haiku 50 More Recent Haiku >