Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years, 258 Days and 71089 Haikus later...

The goose lays gold eggs.
But she cannot fly at all.
She's the perfect slave.
Haiku # 55925, January 14, 2017 8:11 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
I just shat a bike.
It needed minor repairs.
Now I need butt cream.
Haiku # 55924, January 14, 2017 8:06 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
you form a band then
realize you were a commie
front all those damn years
Haiku # 55923, January 14, 2017 10:59 am ET
by vhs
I think I'll have the
vegan bacon cheese burger
and a diet coke.
Haiku # 55922, January 14, 2017 8:05 am ET
by Darth Figpucker of palihog, salamat, way sapayan
It fills you with rage.
What can you do about it?
Not a fucking thing.
Haiku # 55921, January 14, 2017 1:39 am ET
by Adorable Kittens
raindrop lollipop
my hamburger death sentence
shoehorn redemption
Haiku # 55920, January 14, 2017 12:44 am ET
by Potential names of my band
I hated your smiles,
screaming, shouting, angrily
shattering my mind.
Haiku # 55919, January 13, 2017 12:29 pm ET
by Robin Goodfellow
Virus pasta strands.
Uncoiled in a tin can.
It's not Italian.

Canned corn beef and Spam.
Rejected genital meat.
Pressure cooked nostrils.

Nitrates to preserve.
And to weaken the sperm cells.
Thus we slide backwards.

It is as designed.
And appears to be working.
The poor grow stupid.
Haiku # 55918, January 13, 2017 1:58 am ET
by
Listen to heartbeats
of the time I spent with you;
remorse and regret
Haiku # 55917, January 12, 2017 12:54 pm ET
by Robin Goodfellow
Never seen monkeys
using any monkey wrench.
This confuses me
Haiku # 55916, January 12, 2017 11:15 am ET
by Adorable Kittens
Raviolli give
me the formuolli cuz
I have AIDS in my
Haiku # 55915, January 12, 2017 9:01 am ET
by Anonymous Poet of keester
Oh, give me a break.
You could use a few monkeys.
But couldn't we all.
Haiku # 55914, January 12, 2017 8:33 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
when the spam shows up
it is like the monkey wrench
knocks out my writing

distraction
Haiku # 55913, January 11, 2017 1:26 pm ET
by vhs
Falling in love with
Death and his clockworks, though you're
still clinging to life.
Haiku # 55912, January 11, 2017 11:09 am ET
by Robin Goodfellow
This is a great blog, would you be involved in doing an interview about how you created it? If so email me!
Haiku # 55911, January 11, 2017 6:18 am ET
by Anonymous Poet of USA
This is a great blog, would you be involved in doing an interview about how you created it? If so email me!
Haiku # 55910, January 11, 2017 6:18 am ET
by Anonymous Poet of USA
I'm really enjoying the themedesign of your website. Do you ever run into any internet browser compatibility issues? A handful of my blog audience have complained about my site not operating correctly in Explorer but looks great in Firefox. Do you have any solutions to help fix this problem?
Haiku # 55909, January 11, 2017 4:35 am ET
by Anonymous Poet of USA
I'm really enjoying the themedesign of your website. Do you ever run into any internet browser compatibility issues? A handful of my blog audience have complained about my site not operating correctly in Explorer but looks great in Firefox. Do you have any solutions to help fix this problem?
Haiku # 55908, January 11, 2017 4:35 am ET
by Anonymous Poet of USA
I'm looking forward
to the extinction of us
with ice cream on top.

Event A La Mode.
Though chocolate is preferred.
We'll make cool fossils.
Haiku # 55907, January 11, 2017 1:49 am ET
by
But Beethoven's butt
bounces by beautifully
between bassoon beats.
Haiku # 55906, January 11, 2017 12:37 am ET
by
Queefs are pussy farts.
But they are not really farts.
But that's a good thing.
Haiku # 55905, January 11, 2017 12:33 am ET
by
Wide, innocent sighs
dreams and nightmares fall for you
like lovers in time
Haiku # 55904, January 10, 2017 3:43 pm ET
by Robin Goodfellow
i might argue that
Rapture is a song by Blondie
Fab Five Freddy...
Haiku # 55903, January 10, 2017 1:27 pm ET
by vhs
When dogs rule the world
We will greet one another
With much butt sniffing
Haiku # 55902, January 10, 2017 9:01 am ET
by Renowned Futurist
Christ, I need coffee.
Fuck all this poetry shit.
The drug is calling.
Haiku # 55901, January 9, 2017 9:01 pm ET
by
The rapture happened.
Only three people arose.
We are what is left.
Haiku # 55900, January 9, 2017 8:57 pm ET
by of
the old stand bys stand
obliterated by the
passage of passing
Haiku # 55899, January 9, 2017 11:56 am ET
by vhs
Of philosophies
dead branches of withered nights;
rotting memories
Haiku # 55898, January 9, 2017 11:23 am ET
by Robin Goodfellow
Hello!
Haiku # 55897, January 9, 2017 4:11 am ET
by opyyouuw of USA
Elegies from hymnals
grace in nightingale cages;
songs for a loved one
Haiku # 55896, January 8, 2017 4:25 pm ET
by Robin Goodfellow
when the Rapture comes
along and the seven year
period passes

will the bad haiku
still be here, a testament
to all gone before?
Haiku # 55895, January 8, 2017 10:48 am ET
by vhs of of course i am skeptical
Write an acronym
Of your name or else you will
Explode XD lol
Haiku # 55894, January 8, 2017 8:00 am ET
by Meme
Do not eat pink snow
It will make you very sick
Learned that the hard way
Haiku # 55893, January 8, 2017 3:19 am ET
by Adorable Kittens
Don't eat golden ice.
It's golden retriever pee.
My grandma told me.
Haiku # 55892, January 7, 2017 5:41 pm ET
by
Drops of golden ice
Helpless in withered flowers
Silver streams of silent dreams
Haiku # 55891, January 7, 2017 12:48 pm ET
by Robin Goodfellow
My haiku are great.
You're gonna love my haiku.
They're gonna be yuge!
Haiku # 55890, January 7, 2017 5:04 am ET
by Donald Trump of Almost in the White House
Donald Trump should post
his tweets here on this website
in haiku format.
Haiku # 55889, January 7, 2017 5:01 am ET
by Heil Cheeto!
We should go to war.
Most of China would love to see
a new government.
Haiku # 55888, January 7, 2017 4:58 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Yeah, yeah! CRT.
Send money now, fartknockers!
I'll buy some nachos.

And maybe TP.
And burritos and nachos!
Send money, bungholes.

Bow down before The
Almighty Bungholio.
And send that money.
Haiku # 55887, January 7, 2017 4:55 am ET
by Cornholio of Lake Titicaca
China has got shit.
Poverty, pollution, smog.
Plastic cheap garbage.

Their rich vacation
in non-polluted countries,
scheming to buy land.

And turn those countries
into Chinese colonies,
filthy polluted shit holes just like China has become!
Haiku # 55886, January 7, 2017 4:43 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
We should be buddies.
China has toxic whoop ass,
plus lots of people
Haiku # 55885, January 7, 2017 1:20 am ET
by Russian Diplomat of Abouttobeexpelledistan
Silver lullabies
with warm candlelight nearby
for Earth's clockwork night
Haiku # 55884, January 6, 2017 10:41 am ET
by Robin Goodfellow
would the first church of
beavis and butthead be a
legal religion

where people watch vids
on a CRT TV
and say "this sucks..." or

"woah that's cool...." oh how
they have forgotten what sucks
and what is cool now
Haiku # 55883, January 6, 2017 10:33 am ET
by vhs
Believe in Beavis.
First Church of Cornholio.
Offers of TP.

Do you have TP?
Or do you have no TP?
We have no bunghole.

Anoint your bunghole
with oleo and TP.
Yeah, that would be cool.
Haiku # 55882, January 5, 2017 11:06 pm ET
by First Church of Cornholio the Great.
Weeping o'er the dark
Black Oceans caress the pain
of a loved one lost
Haiku # 55881, January 5, 2017 1:17 pm ET
by Robin Goodfellow
i wonder who came
up with the idea art needs
a liscense, status?
Haiku # 55880, January 5, 2017 1:07 pm ET
by vhs
It's the ninja code.
Japaneseish or something.
Look at the post card!

Go eat your sushi!
Family Feudalism
without wasabi.

I need to get my
artistic license renewed
or pay the large fine.
Haiku # 55879, January 4, 2017 10:26 pm ET
by df
I'm sorry you feel that way, what i read here i find rather disturbing, quite disturbing, not the sex doll thing so much but the devaluing of life
Haiku # 55878, January 4, 2017 11:35 am ET
by vhs
There once was a man from Nantookit
who took out his dick and shook it
at everyone that he saw
although against the law
for a toothpick they mistook it.
Haiku # 55877, January 3, 2017 7:50 pm ET
by
Electrophiles
are freaks who love electrons.
The chem teacher lied.
Haiku # 55876, January 3, 2017 7:47 pm ET
by
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