Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 243 Days and 77168 Haiku later...

Drops of golden ice
Helpless in withered flowers
Silver streams of silent dreams
Haiku # 55891, January 7, 2017 12:48 pm ET
by Robin Goodfellow
My haiku are great.
You're gonna love my haiku.
They're gonna be yuge!
Haiku # 55890, January 7, 2017 5:04 am ET
by Donald Trump of Almost in the White House
Donald Trump should post
his tweets here on this website
in haiku format.
Haiku # 55889, January 7, 2017 5:01 am ET
by Heil Cheeto!
We should go to war.
Most of China would love to see
a new government.
Haiku # 55888, January 7, 2017 4:58 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Yeah, yeah! CRT.
Send money now, fartknockers!
I'll buy some nachos.

And maybe TP.
And burritos and nachos!
Send money, bungholes.

Bow down before The
Almighty Bungholio.
And send that money.
Haiku # 55887, January 7, 2017 4:55 am ET
by Cornholio of Lake Titicaca
China has got shit.
Poverty, pollution, smog.
Plastic cheap garbage.

Their rich vacation
in non-polluted countries,
scheming to buy land.

And turn those countries
into Chinese colonies,
filthy polluted shit holes just like China has become!
Haiku # 55886, January 7, 2017 4:43 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
We should be buddies.
China has toxic whoop ass,
plus lots of people
Haiku # 55885, January 7, 2017 1:20 am ET
by Russian Diplomat of Abouttobeexpelledistan
Silver lullabies
with warm candlelight nearby
for Earth's clockwork night
Haiku # 55884, January 6, 2017 10:41 am ET
by Robin Goodfellow
would the first church of
beavis and butthead be a
legal religion

where people watch vids
on a CRT TV
and say "this sucks..." or

"woah that's cool...." oh how
they have forgotten what sucks
and what is cool now
Haiku # 55883, January 6, 2017 10:33 am ET
by vhs
Believe in Beavis.
First Church of Cornholio.
Offers of TP.

Do you have TP?
Or do you have no TP?
We have no bunghole.

Anoint your bunghole
with oleo and TP.
Yeah, that would be cool.
Haiku # 55882, January 5, 2017 11:06 pm ET
by First Church of Cornholio the Great.
Weeping o'er the dark
Black Oceans caress the pain
of a loved one lost
Haiku # 55881, January 5, 2017 1:17 pm ET
by Robin Goodfellow
i wonder who came
up with the idea art needs
a liscense, status?
Haiku # 55880, January 5, 2017 1:07 pm ET
by vhs
It's the ninja code.
Japaneseish or something.
Look at the post card!

Go eat your sushi!
Family Feudalism
without wasabi.

I need to get my
artistic license renewed
or pay the large fine.
Haiku # 55879, January 4, 2017 10:26 pm ET
by df
I'm sorry you feel that way, what i read here i find rather disturbing, quite disturbing, not the sex doll thing so much but the devaluing of life
Haiku # 55878, January 4, 2017 11:35 am ET
by vhs
There once was a man from Nantookit
who took out his dick and shook it
at everyone that he saw
although against the law
for a toothpick they mistook it.
Haiku # 55877, January 3, 2017 7:50 pm ET
are freaks who love electrons.
The chem teacher lied.
Haiku # 55876, January 3, 2017 7:47 pm ET
When I was little and I had no sense
I too a piss on the electric fence.
It shocked my dick, it shocked my balls,
I took a shit in my overalls.
Haiku # 55875, January 3, 2017 7:45 pm ET
Murder is an art.
Those who do it in hatred
are barbaric scum.
Haiku # 55874, January 2, 2017 11:18 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
I just ordered a
Hello Kitty sex doll from
Amazon dot com.
Haiku # 55873, January 2, 2017 11:15 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
I hate the way that
Asians take pics of their food
before they eat it.
Haiku # 55872, January 2, 2017 11:12 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker of The most disgusting CR (restroom) in the Philippines.
Drugs can do good things.
Amphetamine-dried nostrils.
Pluck out those nose hairs.
Haiku # 55871, January 2, 2017 11:08 pm ET
by Nad Nostril and His Nine Nasty Nose-Pickers playing "I'll Get You Yet, You Booger." Pick it, boys!
To chop off your head,
recording the slice and thud,
would make me happy.
Haiku # 55870, January 2, 2017 11:03 pm ET
by Samurai Jack Daniels of Population Control
To come undone once
by your sweet melodic laugh
while time marches on
Haiku # 55869, January 2, 2017 3:30 pm ET
by Robin Goodfellow of Dallas, Texas
duality is
one gravitational wave
this just will not do
Haiku # 55868, January 2, 2017 12:35 pm ET
by mundane
one has tried to make
religions of science
we got sci fi

Haiku # 55867, January 2, 2017 11:08 am ET
by vhs of re: episode of futurama about star trek
in the end it fails
the promise becomes weighty
moral bankruptcy wins
Haiku # 55866, January 2, 2017 6:42 am ET
by Sabu of Melbourne
When I dream I fly
Not because I flap my arms
But cuz I want to
Haiku # 55865, January 2, 2017 6:28 am ET
by Forskolin of USA
Oh fuck, I give up.
Reading, watching, begging you
Cowards be ye all
Haiku # 55864, January 2, 2017 2:26 am ET
by Mandorable Kitbola of South Colorola
Science in my pants.
Usually makes me dance.
Payday cash advance
Haiku # 55863, January 1, 2017 11:12 pm ET
by Adorable Kittens
the facts are the facts
science will soon rule supreme
if we like, or not
Haiku # 55862, January 1, 2017 9:51 pm ET
by Mandingo Ebola
yes electron clouds
we can never truly know
where they just might be

we can only make a
rough guess via science and
speculation ok...

I was just trying to sound smart at the last line there...
Haiku # 55861, January 1, 2017 9:08 pm ET
by vhs
an electron dream
from any point to the edge
it must be twisted
Haiku # 55860, January 1, 2017 2:02 pm ET
by mundane
death brings life and death
happens over and over
till the cycle ends

Happy New Year
Haiku # 55859, January 1, 2017 1:22 pm ET
by vhs
this dream catcher feat
directs a new year outward
will design bring forth
Haiku # 55858, January 1, 2017 12:59 pm ET
by mundane
Hell-fuckin'-O! Motherfuckers!
Haiku # 55857, December 31, 2016 9:01 pm ET
by wixclypixwlbyt of Mace Windu's light saber was inscribed with Bad Motherfucker. Look it up.
Dunkin Donuts coffee sucks, but hey, it's open.
Haiku # 55856, December 31, 2016 8:57 pm ET
by &
The native women are overweight from eating too much processed cheese.
Christmas lights are choking the town square and likely will not be removed until after Valentines day.
Venereal diseases aren't really as bad as they tell you in high school.
I'm listening to tool and avoiding Facebook at the moment so you should be proud.
It's sad that Carrie went in such a horrible violent way, but I guess that's life.
Some Asian girls have big boobs. I enjoy telling them they have big boobs just to see what kind of reaction I get... "Hey, wow! You have big boobs!"
The mega-roman candles give you the best bang for your buck... Next to Eccentrica Gallumbits, that is.
Haiku # 55855, December 31, 2016 8:55 pm ET
by &
Gourmet pizza fucking rocks!
Haiku # 55854, December 30, 2016 10:09 pm ET
There is mud all over the streets that becomes carcinogenic dust when the sun dries it out.
Dead frogs and rats flattened in the night.
Even the cats won't eat them.
Breathing is a rare pleasure when the rain clouds pass.
The Man in the Moon flips you the bird whilst you piss in the gutter as a motorcycle passes and you wave at them with your hand not in use.
You are sober, horny, and hopeless.
Haiku # 55853, December 30, 2016 10:08 pm ET
It is not known if it was truly beef or some other animal, but it was a tasty burger.
My battery is at 21%.
A beer sits next to me.
Did you find any good bargains at Macy's this year?
Haiku # 55852, December 30, 2016 10:01 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
She was obese, disgusting, had a BO problem, and no one at all wanted to have sex with her, but she provided a feast for mosquitoes.
Peace Be Upon Him
Haiku # 55851, December 30, 2016 9:57 pm ET
Ten thousand chicken fuckers cannot be wrong.
Happy New Years!
Haiku # 55850, December 30, 2016 9:53 pm ET
well simplicity
is not a city but it
does make for sparse work
Haiku # 55849, December 30, 2016 11:55 am ET
by vhs
This is not for me.
But maybe if I was gay.
No, not even then.
Haiku # 55848, December 30, 2016 3:59 am ET
by df
HTML tags
are now disabled just like
Christopher Reeves was.
Haiku # 55847, December 29, 2016 7:48 pm ET
by df
Haiku # 55846, December 29, 2016 5:33 pm ET
by iypwpwtw of USA
Well sit and wait it's
A lot better than before
Chop wood carry coke
Haiku # 55845, December 29, 2016 2:25 pm ET
by Vhs of 3700
Where's the janitor?
There's another spam haiku!
Can you clean it up?
Haiku # 55844, December 29, 2016 7:25 am ET
by Anxious plumber elephant of Mars
I want you to thank for your time of this wonderful read!!! I definately enjoy every little bit of it and I have you bookmarked to check out new stuff of your blog a must read blog!!!!
Haiku # 55843, December 29, 2016 1:38 am ET
by granite supplier in delhi of delhi
i always wonder
who the hell is posting here
and quite about what
Haiku # 55842, December 28, 2016 2:44 pm ET
by vhs
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