BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
23 Years
312 Days
68093 Haikus
There is mud all over the streets that becomes carcinogenic dust when the sun dries it out.
Dead frogs and rats flattened in the night.
Even the cats won't eat them.
Breathing is a rare pleasure when the rain clouds pass.
The Man in the Moon flips you the bird whilst you piss in the gutter as a motorcycle passes and you wave at them with your hand not in use.
You are sober, horny, and hopeless.
Haiku #55853, by
December 30, 2016 10:08 pm ET

It is not known if it was truly beef or some other animal, but it was a tasty burger.
My battery is at 21%.
A beer sits next to me.
Did you find any good bargains at Macy's this year?
Haiku #55852, by Anonymous Poet
December 30, 2016 10:01 pm ET

She was obese, disgusting, had a BO problem, and no one at all wanted to have sex with her, but she provided a feast for mosquitoes.
Peace Be Upon Him
Haiku #55851, by
December 30, 2016 9:57 pm ET

Ten thousand chicken fuckers cannot be wrong.
Happy New Years!
Haiku #55850, by
December 30, 2016 9:53 pm ET

well simplicity
is not a city but it
does make for sparse work
Haiku #55849, by vhs
December 30, 2016 11:55 am ET

This is not for me.
But maybe if I was gay.
No, not even then.
Haiku #55848, by df
December 30, 2016 3:59 am ET

HTML tags
are now disabled just like
Christopher Reeves was.
Haiku #55847, by df
December 29, 2016 7:48 pm ET

Haiku #55846, by iypwpwtw of USA
December 29, 2016 5:33 pm ET

Well sit and wait it's
A lot better than before
Chop wood carry coke
Haiku #55845, by Vhs of 3700
December 29, 2016 2:25 pm ET

Where's the janitor?
There's another spam haiku!
Can you clean it up?
Haiku #55844, by Anxious plumber elephant of Mars
December 29, 2016 7:25 am ET

I want you to thank for your time of this wonderful read!!! I definately enjoy every little bit of it and I have you bookmarked to check out new stuff of your blog a must read blog!!!!
Haiku #55843, by granite supplier in delhi of delhi
December 29, 2016 1:38 am ET

i always wonder
who the hell is posting here
and quite about what
Haiku #55842, by vhs
December 28, 2016 2:44 pm ET

It is only natural.
She drowned under the moonlight.
Strangled by her bra.
Haiku #55841, by
December 27, 2016 9:38 pm ET

Saul last breath pleads:
Pull down the shades
Haiku #55840, by hanoch guy of elkins park pa. usa
December 27, 2016 5:10 pm ET

"Stone Philosophers"

No cause or effect
Amnesic incognitus
Unfolding stone - bye
Haiku #55839, by Man of Earth
December 27, 2016 4:59 pm ET

carrie fisher just
died, i know celebrities
pass all the time but

my childhood just died
a bit right there, and i have
no more words to say...
Haiku #55838, by vhs of good night...
December 27, 2016 1:07 pm ET

mayhaps but you know
we must work together to
fullfilll our own

personal visions
doesn't make sense does it ah
libertarian christians...
Haiku #55837, by vhs of romana 2012 dr who for president
December 27, 2016 12:55 pm ET

Stop it man of earth
I know the haikus sound great
But they spam a lot

Do you even know what I mean?
Haiku #55836, by Woman of venus of Neptune
December 27, 2016 12:14 pm ET

Bottle shop is closed
Escape is not an option
Rain hits my face cold
Haiku #55835, by Sabu of Melbourne
December 27, 2016 4:56 am ET

Broken thought swirls dark
Broken man looms dangerous
Broken wife hides tears
Haiku #55834, by Sabu of Melbourne
December 27, 2016 4:49 am ET

from gloom in the womb
emergency room to tomb
carcass soon exhumed
Haiku #55833, by Adorable Kittens
December 27, 2016 12:55 am ET

"Doctor Whom?"

Foxworthy worthy
You might be paradox if
Both cause and effect
Haiku #55832, by Man of Earth
December 26, 2016 12:09 pm ET

"All Relative"

When the past becomes
Present the future is now
Deja vu's okay
Haiku #55831, by Man of Earth
December 26, 2016 12:08 pm ET

"Altitude Attitude"

When I dream I fly
Not because I flap my arms
But cuz I want to
Haiku #55830, by Man of Earth
December 26, 2016 12:06 pm ET

"Pretty True"

Through grapevine I heard
Happiness isn't a state
Actually a skill
Haiku #55829, by Man of Earth
December 26, 2016 12:03 pm ET

"The American"

It's uncomfortable
Given chance someone out there
Would cut my head off
Haiku #55828, by Man of Earth
December 26, 2016 12:02 pm ET

"Sentimental Carnivore"

Nature is funny
Do sheep dogs think they are sheep?
Conflict of instinct
Haiku #55827, by Man of Earth
December 26, 2016 12:01 pm ET

"that's too God damned Chuck Pallihiniuk"

lazy too, nice slice to the balls
with occam's razor
Haiku #55826, by vhs
December 26, 2016 11:45 am ET

"Go out in a blaze of glory with drugs, hookers, and automatic weapons"

Everything's for naught.
The 2nd Law of Thermo.
It has been ordained.
Haiku #55825, by df
December 26, 2016 8:55 am ET

for some reason i
feel "thus spake zarathustra"
is playing right now

because those is good
haiku... why not, it is nice
to see those haiku
Haiku #55824, by vhs
December 25, 2016 2:04 pm ET

"And Prosper"

The world is real big
Satisfaction possible
It's its own reward
Haiku #55823, by Man of Earth
December 25, 2016 12:07 am ET

"Half Full"

Every day is new
Things you think you have to do
Are things you get to
Haiku #55822, by Man of Earth
December 25, 2016 12:05 am ET

"Terraform This"

If man farms on Mars
People will still be starving
Here on planet Earth
Haiku #55821, by Man of Earth
December 25, 2016 12:03 am ET

"Simulated Epiphany"

Calculator dream
Everything adds up to 1
I shine and vanish
Haiku #55820, by Man of Earth
December 25, 2016 12:01 am ET

"New Ritual"

Meaning imparted
Over time and patiently
Love is transgender
Haiku #55819, by Man of Earth
December 25, 2016 12:00 am ET

"Stupor Nostra"

An eternal round
Child becomes parent, so on
Now how to improve?
Haiku #55818, by Man of Earth
December 24, 2016 11:58 pm ET

"Prophet Margin"

Real conflict between
Islam, Christianity
Just Daddy issues
Haiku #55817, by Man of Earth
December 24, 2016 11:57 pm ET

well the chinese said
may we live in interesting
times, here we are
Haiku #55816, by vhs
December 24, 2016 2:41 pm ET

cheeto hitler ???

Haiku #55815, by vhs
December 24, 2016 2:41 pm ET

Donald Trump with nukes.
It's time to thin out the herd.
Go Fuhrer Cheeto!
Haiku #55814, by df
December 24, 2016 12:20 pm ET

holy shit batman
someone cleaned up the website
janis, we love you
Haiku #55813, by ash
December 24, 2016 5:46 am ET

I'd like to get stoned.
My evil wife would be pissed.
She is such a bitch.
Haiku #55812, by DF
December 23, 2016 2:22 pm ET

I know Jesus well.
He lives down the street from me.
But not much longer.

The Cheeto Hitler
will send him back home to Hell.
I mean Mexico.
Haiku #55811, by Anonymous Poet
December 23, 2016 2:20 pm ET

Merry Christmas from
Jesus Claus Santa Christ; He
forgives your candy.
Haiku #55810, by df
December 23, 2016 2:16 pm ET

no, the martains got
santa claus, voldor almost
killed him but he won.

(reference Santa Claus Conquers the Martians, terrible movie, no taboo sex, not Cannibal Holocaust or anything like that but it is a cute movie)
Haiku #55809, by vhs
December 23, 2016 11:40 am ET

Jesus stole the sleigh.
He pawned the toys to buy drugs.
What a great New Years!
Haiku #55808, by df
December 23, 2016 7:12 am ET

While sleeping I fear.
A thousand tasks are undone.
And so is my sleep.

And then I awake.
Holy shit, it's Christmas break!
I think I'll get baked.

God, I miss egg nog.
How is that shit even made?
I need to find out.
Haiku #55807, by df
December 23, 2016 7:08 am ET

Spam haiku hidden.
It gives me an erection.
But my wife does not.
Haiku #55806, by df
December 23, 2016 6:54 am ET

Jesus will return.
I don't think He'll have a choice.
Santa Claus is dead.
Haiku #55805, by df
December 23, 2016 6:48 am ET

well everyone is
sounding like the grinch stole xmas
but dr seuss like in

style. he fought WWII
and of course was Theo
Drieser. green eggs but

NO Green Spam thank you
Haiku #55804, by Place Cafe/(aka vhs) of somewhere in belfast maine
December 22, 2016 12:08 pm ET