Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 248 Days and 77180 Haiku later...

"Pretty True"

Through grapevine I heard
Happiness isn't a state
Actually a skill
Haiku # 55829, December 26, 2016 12:03 pm ET
by Man of Earth
"The American"

It's uncomfortable
Given chance someone out there
Would cut my head off
Haiku # 55828, December 26, 2016 12:02 pm ET
by Man of Earth
"Sentimental Carnivore"

Nature is funny
Do sheep dogs think they are sheep?
Conflict of instinct
Haiku # 55827, December 26, 2016 12:01 pm ET
by Man of Earth
"that's too God damned Chuck Pallihiniuk"

lazy too, nice slice to the balls
with occam's razor
Haiku # 55826, December 26, 2016 11:45 am ET
by vhs
"Go out in a blaze of glory with drugs, hookers, and automatic weapons"

Everything's for naught.
The 2nd Law of Thermo.
It has been ordained.
Haiku # 55825, December 26, 2016 8:55 am ET
by df
for some reason i
feel "thus spake zarathustra"
is playing right now

because those is good
haiku... why not, it is nice
to see those haiku
Haiku # 55824, December 25, 2016 2:04 pm ET
by vhs
"And Prosper"

The world is real big
Satisfaction possible
It's its own reward
Haiku # 55823, December 25, 2016 12:07 am ET
by Man of Earth
"Half Full"

Every day is new
Things you think you have to do
Are things you get to
Haiku # 55822, December 25, 2016 12:05 am ET
by Man of Earth
"Terraform This"

If man farms on Mars
People will still be starving
Here on planet Earth
Haiku # 55821, December 25, 2016 12:03 am ET
by Man of Earth
"Simulated Epiphany"

Calculator dream
Everything adds up to 1
I shine and vanish
Haiku # 55820, December 25, 2016 12:01 am ET
by Man of Earth
"New Ritual"

Meaning imparted
Over time and patiently
Love is transgender
Haiku # 55819, December 25, 2016 12:00 am ET
by Man of Earth
"Stupor Nostra"

An eternal round
Child becomes parent, so on
Now how to improve?
Haiku # 55818, December 24, 2016 11:58 pm ET
by Man of Earth
"Prophet Margin"

Real conflict between
Islam, Christianity
Just Daddy issues
Haiku # 55817, December 24, 2016 11:57 pm ET
by Man of Earth
well the chinese said
may we live in interesting
times, here we are
Haiku # 55816, December 24, 2016 2:41 pm ET
by vhs
cheeto hitler ???

Haiku # 55815, December 24, 2016 2:41 pm ET
by vhs
Donald Trump with nukes.
It's time to thin out the herd.
Go Fuhrer Cheeto!
Haiku # 55814, December 24, 2016 12:20 pm ET
by df
holy shit batman
someone cleaned up the website
janis, we love you
Haiku # 55813, December 24, 2016 5:46 am ET
by ash
I'd like to get stoned.
My evil wife would be pissed.
She is such a bitch.
Haiku # 55812, December 23, 2016 2:22 pm ET
by DF
I know Jesus well.
He lives down the street from me.
But not much longer.

The Cheeto Hitler
will send him back home to Hell.
I mean Mexico.
Haiku # 55811, December 23, 2016 2:20 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Merry Christmas from
Jesus Claus Santa Christ; He
forgives your candy.
Haiku # 55810, December 23, 2016 2:16 pm ET
by df
no, the martains got
santa claus, voldor almost
killed him but he won.

(reference Santa Claus Conquers the Martians, terrible movie, no taboo sex, not Cannibal Holocaust or anything like that but it is a cute movie)
Haiku # 55809, December 23, 2016 11:40 am ET
by vhs
Jesus stole the sleigh.
He pawned the toys to buy drugs.
What a great New Years!
Haiku # 55808, December 23, 2016 7:12 am ET
by df
While sleeping I fear.
A thousand tasks are undone.
And so is my sleep.

And then I awake.
Holy shit, it's Christmas break!
I think I'll get baked.

God, I miss egg nog.
How is that shit even made?
I need to find out.
Haiku # 55807, December 23, 2016 7:08 am ET
by df
Spam haiku hidden.
It gives me an erection.
But my wife does not.
Haiku # 55806, December 23, 2016 6:54 am ET
by df
Jesus will return.
I don't think He'll have a choice.
Santa Claus is dead.
Haiku # 55805, December 23, 2016 6:48 am ET
by df
well everyone is
sounding like the grinch stole xmas
but dr seuss like in

style. he fought WWII
and of course was Theo
Drieser. green eggs but

NO Green Spam thank you
Haiku # 55804, December 22, 2016 12:08 pm ET
by Place Cafe/(aka vhs) of somewhere in belfast maine
cool analyzing about the topic
Haiku # 55803, December 22, 2016 9:08 am ET
by vigi
Sexy equations
spread sides to multiply.
Spew result with pen.
Haiku # 55802, December 22, 2016 3:57 am ET
I've not slept for days.
My thoughts are blurred together.
Frogs in a blender.
Haiku # 55801, December 22, 2016 3:47 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
Janis is moping.
The Janitor is mopping
This haiku? Stopping.
Haiku # 55800, December 22, 2016 12:51 am ET
by Adorable Kittens
Woah, it must be you.
A bunch of spam posts are gone!
Hey, how's it going?

Janis, why don't you
Haikus sent with tags?
Would stop all the spam.
Haiku # 55799, December 21, 2016 6:45 pm ET
by Vigilante Janitor of The Internet
I'm here in person
Moping around this corner
Of the good 'ol web
Haiku # 55798, December 21, 2016 4:20 pm ET
by Janis
seasons also of
the body wearing down and
realizng older age
Haiku # 55797, December 21, 2016 3:34 pm ET
by vhs
Could anyone get
Hold of Janis recently?
Reply to email?
Haiku # 55796, December 21, 2016 2:59 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
20 years of tags.
The internet was a diff
-erent place back then.
Haiku # 55795, December 21, 2016 2:52 pm ET
by Janis
Seasons of abuse.
Now Bad Haiku hardens to
block HTML.
Haiku # 55794, December 21, 2016 2:45 pm ET
by Adam
I want to be a monkey.
All they do is fuck.
Haiku # 55791, December 21, 2016 7:32 am ET
by df
One whole semester
of calculus 1 homework
finished in 2 days.

How much did I charge?
Four-hundred twenty-five bucks.
I'm now exhausted.

I may be a whore,
but I'm the best whore there is.
The Arabs love me.
Haiku # 55790, December 21, 2016 6:36 am ET
by df
Spam is disgusting.
I'm talking about the "meat".
If you call it that.
Haiku # 55789, December 21, 2016 6:31 am ET
by df
Frog legs are tasty.
It's good that they are ugly.
Else they'd be extinct.
Haiku # 55788, December 21, 2016 6:27 am ET
by df
Addicted to Death.
We have no other option.
This is God's design.
Haiku # 55787, December 21, 2016 5:05 am ET
by Darth Figpucker, Inc. of Trump Tower Restaraunt. I'm not impressed. Hibachi Grill buffet has better food.
Capture of culture
Endless evolving effort
Roller coaster ride
Haiku # 55786, December 21, 2016 12:56 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Stars hide behind clouds.
As if playing peek-a-boo.
I hate them.
Haiku # 55784, December 20, 2016 6:11 am ET
by Unanimous Poet
I don't love my wife.
I should watch some creepy porn.
Then let her find it.

Or fart in public.
Or maybe hit on her friends.
She needs to hate me.
Haiku # 55780, December 19, 2016 6:35 pm ET
there was just no way
to know how far we'd come, now
except to look back
Haiku # 55779, December 19, 2016 2:54 pm ET
by Sango Orangutango of infinite jest
This web-borne assault
On our haiku garden space
Enrages me so

Time for us to move
More signal to noise ratio
Can't stop the signal
Haiku # 55778, December 19, 2016 2:38 pm ET
by Sango Orangutango of a time long ago
Love becomes vacant.
Lust becomes Armageddon.
Instead, go surfing.
Haiku # 55773, December 18, 2016 8:48 pm ET
Original Spam,
Turning inedible meat
into white-trash lunch.

There's more Spam here than
a Philippino breakfast.
I'd rather eat dog.
Haiku # 55772, December 18, 2016 8:00 pm ET
by df
Gen-X-perienced drinker.
Gin-X and tonic.
Haiku # 55770, December 18, 2016 1:46 pm ET
by Do you miss MS-DOS? Mom called it "Miss do's". As opposed to "Miss Don'ts"
Gen-X Files.
Gen-X-rated website star.
Gen-X-ray vision.
Haiku # 55769, December 18, 2016 1:42 pm ET
by That goth kid up 'til 5 am drinking coffee at IHOP.
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