Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 242 Days and 77165 Haiku later...

Could anyone get
Hold of Janis recently?
Reply to email?
Haiku # 55796, December 21, 2016 2:59 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
20 years of tags.
The internet was a diff
-erent place back then.
Haiku # 55795, December 21, 2016 2:52 pm ET
by Janis
Seasons of abuse.
Now Bad Haiku hardens to
block HTML.
Haiku # 55794, December 21, 2016 2:45 pm ET
by Adam
I want to be a monkey.
All they do is fuck.
Haiku # 55791, December 21, 2016 7:32 am ET
by df
One whole semester
of calculus 1 homework
finished in 2 days.

How much did I charge?
Four-hundred twenty-five bucks.
I'm now exhausted.

I may be a whore,
but I'm the best whore there is.
The Arabs love me.
Haiku # 55790, December 21, 2016 6:36 am ET
by df
Spam is disgusting.
I'm talking about the "meat".
If you call it that.
Haiku # 55789, December 21, 2016 6:31 am ET
by df
Frog legs are tasty.
It's good that they are ugly.
Else they'd be extinct.
Haiku # 55788, December 21, 2016 6:27 am ET
by df
Addicted to Death.
We have no other option.
This is God's design.
Haiku # 55787, December 21, 2016 5:05 am ET
by Darth Figpucker, Inc. of Trump Tower Restaraunt. I'm not impressed. Hibachi Grill buffet has better food.
Capture of culture
Endless evolving effort
Roller coaster ride
Haiku # 55786, December 21, 2016 12:56 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Stars hide behind clouds.
As if playing peek-a-boo.
I hate them.
Haiku # 55784, December 20, 2016 6:11 am ET
by Unanimous Poet
I don't love my wife.
I should watch some creepy porn.
Then let her find it.

Or fart in public.
Or maybe hit on her friends.
She needs to hate me.
Haiku # 55780, December 19, 2016 6:35 pm ET
there was just no way
to know how far we'd come, now
except to look back
Haiku # 55779, December 19, 2016 2:54 pm ET
by Sango Orangutango of infinite jest
This web-borne assault
On our haiku garden space
Enrages me so

Time for us to move
More signal to noise ratio
Can't stop the signal
Haiku # 55778, December 19, 2016 2:38 pm ET
by Sango Orangutango of a time long ago
Love becomes vacant.
Lust becomes Armageddon.
Instead, go surfing.
Haiku # 55773, December 18, 2016 8:48 pm ET
Original Spam,
Turning inedible meat
into white-trash lunch.

There's more Spam here than
a Philippino breakfast.
I'd rather eat dog.
Haiku # 55772, December 18, 2016 8:00 pm ET
by df
Gen-X-perienced drinker.
Gin-X and tonic.
Haiku # 55770, December 18, 2016 1:46 pm ET
by Do you miss MS-DOS? Mom called it "Miss do's". As opposed to "Miss Don'ts"
Gen-X Files.
Gen-X-rated website star.
Gen-X-ray vision.
Haiku # 55769, December 18, 2016 1:42 pm ET
by That goth kid up 'til 5 am drinking coffee at IHOP.
then there the black eyed
kids phenom in the world so
when the hell did life

become the x-files
or some damn Call of Cthulhu
game story arc?
Haiku # 55768, December 18, 2016 12:09 pm ET
by vhs
i have seen strange things
in the evangelical world
and i think it's nuts

even if i believe
the eurythmics did say
dont mess with a...pause

missionary man
hey hey...i know not haiku
but sort of you know
Haiku # 55767, December 18, 2016 12:08 pm ET
by vhs
RFID chips
and tracking our lives just makes
me sick to myself

I know right wing up
the ass stuff but hmm, i like
the ReCap here hmm
Haiku # 55766, December 18, 2016 12:06 pm ET
by Place Cafe/(aka vhs) of Place Cafe
coffee's last mile, and
here i am trying to come
up with profound stuff

when today's children
go, mom what does rewind mean
but ducktails is back :)
Haiku # 55765, December 18, 2016 12:05 pm ET
by vhs of David Tennant is Scrooge Mc/The Doctor
Momma always said,
"Coffee is AS coffee does."
I think I get it.
Haiku # 55764, December 18, 2016 3:24 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
Momma always said,
"Coffee is coffee does."
But what does it MEAN?!
Haiku # 55763, December 18, 2016 3:23 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
Bob pees sitting down.
There is nothing wrong with that.
He does not have legs.
Haiku # 55762, December 18, 2016 2:15 am ET
by me
so who forgot old
gen x and i gave my friend
a def leppard disk

it is hip to say
history lives, we are tre
irrelevant and

resistance is kind
of dumb if we must resist
resistance and of

course, irony do
not forget irony k
we are all xers now
Haiku # 55761, December 17, 2016 1:02 pm ET
by vhs
We were number one
But now something bad happened
And now we rank last
Haiku # 55760, December 17, 2016 7:46 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Roses are red
Violets are blue
This is a poem
Not a haiku
Haiku # 55759, December 17, 2016 7:41 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Memes live in memesvile
And memes are as dank as memes
And memes are REAL dank
Haiku # 55758, December 17, 2016 7:38 am ET
by Memer of Lazytown
You have pinkie toes.
Do you appreciate them?
They have a tough job.
Haiku # 55755, December 16, 2016 1:19 am ET
by Anatomy Academy

Endless toss and turn,
Over a whole day awake,
Cry insomnia.
Haiku # 55750, December 15, 2016 3:57 pm ET
by Vigilante Janitor of The Internet
well you know one way
of looking at this mess is
to see it as an

on going dada
art project with our posts thus
breaking spam moments

but i speak old crap
and i wish to go to say
Easter Island you

know, see the statues
Haiku # 55749, December 15, 2016 3:43 pm ET
by vhs
Hey Darth, honestly,
My post won't help search engines.
Cause the way it works.

It simply hides links
On front page, but they're still there.
Google still sees stuff.

Janis needs to fix
The filter of posts itself.
Update the code, damn.
Haiku # 55743, December 14, 2016 5:08 pm ET
by Vigilante Janitor of The Internet
Hi Vigilante.
I'd prefer "Spam Haiku blocked"
to seeing "Hello!"

It would also be good if you could block their name like the wuporiwix or whatever. They rely on the search engines picking up that rare character string that relates back to other posts on other websites.

In other words, if they post html code or "Hello!" then just change their name to "spam post".

That's a lot to ask.
I'm happy with what you've done.
My daughter is yours.
Haiku # 55742, December 14, 2016 6:47 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
Celebrate custom
One morning, seven days, eight nights
Delight in belief!
Haiku # 55730, December 13, 2016 7:47 pm ET
by Billy
I could probably
Make a script to block all spam;
Kill non-unique posts,

But really, would you
Prefer to see "Hello!" or
"Spam haiku hidden".

(They're both pretty equally spammy, imo).
Haiku # 55729, December 13, 2016 6:34 pm ET
by Vigilante Janitor of The Internet
Would be nice if it
also blocked the word "Hello!"
because that's just gay.
Haiku # 55728, December 13, 2016 6:29 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
coder as artist
i know you know some things and
I keep that in mind...
Haiku # 55724, December 13, 2016 11:30 am ET
by vhs
It seems to have worked!
It blocks greater than and less
than coding symbols.

I have been saying
this for longer than my schlong...
in my dreams, that is.

I knew my rudeness
would eventually work.
Like it did for Trump!
Haiku # 55718, December 13, 2016 2:51 am ET
by df
I am so happy!
Thank you, sir vigilante!
You are our hero!

... maybe...

fart test
Haiku # 55717, December 13, 2016 2:47 am ET
by df
Hoping your plan works
We are all counting on you
'cause we are lazy
Haiku # 55716, December 13, 2016 1:36 am ET
by Relative mist
Aha! It does work!
It hides new spam after me!
Try your worst, spammers!
Haiku # 55713, December 13, 2016 12:35 am ET
by Vigilante Janitor of The Internet

This is just a test, don't mind me.
Haiku # 55712, December 13, 2016 12:34 am ET
by Vigilante Janitor of The Internet
Damn, it didn't work.
Back to the old drawing board.
See what I can do.
Haiku # 55711, December 13, 2016 12:17 am ET
by Vigilante Janitor of The Internet

I'm testing a script,
To get rid of spam links on
Pages that I post.

If Janis won't help,
Won't purge the site of the spam,
I guess that I'll try.

Haiku # 55710, December 13, 2016 12:15 am ET
by Vigilante Janitor of The Internet
Praise vandalism
Unless we do not agree
Then you go to jail
Haiku # 55709, December 13, 2016 12:00 am ET
by Relativist
Actions do affect
Careful what you say and do
Don't be an asshole
Haiku # 55708, December 12, 2016 10:54 pm ET
by Shirley Smothers
yes and all the mad
ascii skills and i still
need to get a stint

for my heart, i think
Haiku # 55707, December 12, 2016 8:46 pm ET
by vhs
The pig man
With his knives and chains
Carves himself

Revelers come forth
With their masks, suits, and dresses
Applaud happily

Chanting with rhythm
"Carve, Pigman! Carve Pigman! Carve!
He squeals with delight

Slabs of meat
Fall towards the floor
Eat! Eat! Eat!
Haiku # 55706, December 12, 2016 3:02 pm ET
by An old fuck up of Back on this site for the day
To really be rude,
I should change the font to white.
That would be funny!
Haiku # 55699, December 11, 2016 7:19 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
I am nearly bushed.
Being a whore takes its toll.
I poop equations.

I get paid for it.
And I get paid rather well.
Bums are better off.
Haiku # 55698, December 11, 2016 7:18 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
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