Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 20 Days and 76798 Haiku later...

Praise vandalism
Unless we do not agree
Then you go to jail
Haiku # 55709, December 13, 2016 12:00 am ET
by Relativist
Actions do affect
Careful what you say and do
Don't be an asshole
Haiku # 55708, December 12, 2016 10:54 pm ET
by Shirley Smothers
yes and all the mad
ascii skills and i still
need to get a stint

for my heart, i think
Haiku # 55707, December 12, 2016 8:46 pm ET
by vhs
The pig man
With his knives and chains
Carves himself

Revelers come forth
With their masks, suits, and dresses
Applaud happily

Chanting with rhythm
"Carve, Pigman! Carve Pigman! Carve!
He squeals with delight

Slabs of meat
Fall towards the floor
Eat! Eat! Eat!
Haiku # 55706, December 12, 2016 3:02 pm ET
by An old fuck up of Back on this site for the day
To really be rude,
I should change the font to white.
That would be funny!
Haiku # 55699, December 11, 2016 7:19 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
I am nearly bushed.
Being a whore takes its toll.
I poop equations.

I get paid for it.
And I get paid rather well.
Bums are better off.
Haiku # 55698, December 11, 2016 7:18 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
I had a strange dream.
I taught a class in rudeness.
Everyone loved it.
Haiku # 55697, December 11, 2016 7:09 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
well looks like the art
project here it is getting
bigger by the moot
Haiku # 55696, December 11, 2016 11:44 am ET
by vhs
This world needs a war.
There are too many people.
Release the virus.
Haiku # 55690, December 10, 2016 9:17 pm ET
by of
the words come out so
even in the last days there
are last words to speak
Haiku # 55689, December 10, 2016 11:20 am ET
by vhs
You fail at counting
Meanwhile I will be mounting
Another mother
Haiku # 55688, December 10, 2016 4:46 am ET
by Touching the magic of Disney
we are innocent
corrupted by bad music
shaming our future
Haiku # 55686, December 10, 2016 1:17 am ET
by elegant eclipse of succulent blips
You said you loved me
But that was a big fat lie
And now you must die
Haiku # 55682, December 9, 2016 6:56 pm ET
by Shirley Smothers
Captain Kangaroo
Doing naughty things to you
poo and super glue
Haiku # 55675, December 9, 2016 1:21 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
yes i know sometimes
i do haiku sometimes i
undo haiku...peace
Haiku # 55674, December 8, 2016 11:58 am ET
by vhs
you misunderstand
haiku; it's more than just three
meagre broken lines
Haiku # 55673, December 8, 2016 6:53 am ET
by Feliway66 of Bud / HU
you misunderstand
haiku; it
Haiku # 55672, December 8, 2016 6:33 am ET
by Feliway66 of Budapest, HU
fifty five thousand
six hundred seventy one
and they are all bad!
Haiku # 55671, December 8, 2016 1:11 am ET
by compost heap
i think that was you
know like survivalist food
for sale in buckets

and jim bakker and
his we can make a table
with these buckets...he's

probably crazy
Haiku # 55670, December 7, 2016 11:26 am ET
by vhs
That is the future my friends
Start digging your holes
Haiku # 55669, December 7, 2016 1:02 am ET
by Renowned Futurist of an obscure tabloid
what is profound is
of course the fact that a guy
who teaches skool is

just a blip in the
life of someone passing through
that skool of passing...
Haiku # 55667, December 6, 2016 12:55 pm ET
by vhs of strangers in the night, forever beeping
You are reading words
The words will make you think things
Then you will forget
Haiku # 55666, December 6, 2016 12:54 am ET
by Profound Intellectual of a fancy university
Christmas is coming
Bad elf under mistletoe
Santa rides the sleigh
Haiku # 55664, December 5, 2016 12:35 pm ET
by Billy of Northern VA
Men who fuck chickens
look down on those who fuck goats
because that's just sick.
Haiku # 55658, December 5, 2016 5:30 am ET
by df
No, Garth, you are wrong.
A self-referring poem
is not poetry.

So what is it then?
Sad comedy at its best.
But that's okay too.

Here's an example:
This haiku is so stupid.
You see what I mean?
Haiku # 55657, December 5, 2016 12:47 am ET
by df of Los Gofuckyourselfistanibadvilleberg
All hope is now lost.
Genocide by a Tweeto.
(A Cheeto that tweets.)

Drink some orange food dye
in the hopes of blending in
and avoid the camps.

You will not be starved.
You will be force fed Cheetos
and Dr. Pepper.
Haiku # 55656, December 5, 2016 12:39 am ET
by df
What is green and dangerous? A gooseberry with a machine gun - October Weather
Haiku # 55655, December 4, 2016 7:04 pm ET
by October Weather of Tenerife
self referential
you broke your own stupid rule
evil figpucker
Haiku # 55654, December 4, 2016 6:54 pm ET
by Garth Wigsucker
>>I'm only human.
Occasionally I fart.
And it's not a fart.
>>In line at Walmart.
In loose fitting khaki shorts.
What a mess I made.
>>The intercom blared,
"Clean up at register six.
Bring Clorox and gloves."
>>People then took pics
to upload onto Facebook.
That's my five minutes.
Haiku # 55652, December 4, 2016 5:39 am ET
by Darth Figpucker of Merry Christmas!
Funny how the spam
vanishes after I drop
a poop bomb, ain't it.
Haiku # 55647, December 1, 2016 10:09 pm ET
by df
Okay, vhs.
If you think praying will work,
Pray all you wan to.

Or... you can try to email Janis to see if you can learn the code to log in to the website host and delete all the spam as it comes in. Imagine, actually doing something about it. Wow. He helps those who help me. Good luck.



Haiku # 55646, December 1, 2016 10:06 pm ET
by df
you know my beliefs
have me think i can wage a
thing called "spiritual"

warfare" on say spam.
what good does it do to pray
against spam postings?
Haiku # 55645, December 1, 2016 4:45 pm ET
by vhs
Are you okay sir?
Maybe you should take a rest!
There is something wrong...

...with you...

...I hate haiku.
Haiku # 55644, December 1, 2016 7:54 am ET
by Adam
Definitely, what a fantastic website and informative posts, I definitely will bookmark your blog.All the Best!
Haiku # 55584, December 1, 2016 5:26 am ET
by yeopipyr of USA
My name is David
I am the worstest person
Elevator farts!
Haiku # 55583, November 30, 2016 9:39 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
My name is Adam
I am the best person lol
Plz reply to this!
Haiku # 55582, November 30, 2016 9:14 am ET
by Adam of San Francisco, Mexico
Hey there, vhs.
Do you know HTML?
Or any coding?

You should ask Janis
to let you be an admin
to wipe out the spam.
Haiku # 55578, November 30, 2016 4:34 am ET
basketball frisbee
lacrosse hockey tennis golf
weightlifting rugby
Haiku # 55577, November 30, 2016 1:16 am ET
by sport
Stop spamming
Haiku # 55573, November 29, 2016 2:22 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
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Haiku # 55569, November 29, 2016 4:15 am ET
by tyweewrr of USA
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Haiku # 55568, November 29, 2016 4:15 am ET
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Haiku # 55567, November 29, 2016 4:15 am ET
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Haiku # 55566, November 29, 2016 4:14 am ET
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Haiku # 55565, November 29, 2016 1:40 am ET
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Haiku # 55561, November 28, 2016 2:37 pm ET
by pyrerroi of USA
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Haiku # 55560, November 28, 2016 1:59 pm ET
by Bertie of The great white north
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Haiku # 55556, November 28, 2016 5:47 am ET
by tttwyypu of USA
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