Bashō says something unhelpful
Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
29 Years, 56 Days and 78008 Haiku later...
The pig man
With his knives and chains
Carves himself

Revelers come forth
With their masks, suits, and dresses
Applaud happily

Chanting with rhythm
"Carve, Pigman! Carve Pigman! Carve!
He squeals with delight

Slabs of meat
Fall towards the floor
Eat! Eat! Eat!
Haiku # 55706 December 12, 2016 3:02 pm ET
by An old fuck up of Back on this site for the day
To really be rude,
I should change the font to white.
That would be funny!
Haiku # 55699 December 11, 2016 7:19 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
I am nearly bushed.
Being a whore takes its toll.
I poop equations.

I get paid for it.
And I get paid rather well.
Bums are better off.
Haiku # 55698 December 11, 2016 7:18 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
I had a strange dream.
I taught a class in rudeness.
Everyone loved it.
Haiku # 55697 December 11, 2016 7:09 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
well looks like the art
project here it is getting
bigger by the moot
Haiku # 55696 December 11, 2016 11:44 am ET
by vhs
This world needs a war.
There are too many people.
Release the virus.
Haiku # 55690 December 10, 2016 9:17 pm ET
by of
the words come out so
even in the last days there
are last words to speak
Haiku # 55689 December 10, 2016 11:20 am ET
by vhs
You fail at counting
Meanwhile I will be mounting
Another mother
Haiku # 55688 December 10, 2016 4:46 am ET
by Touching the magic of Disney
we are innocent
corrupted by bad music
shaming our future
Haiku # 55686 December 10, 2016 1:17 am ET
by elegant eclipse of succulent blips
You said you loved me
But that was a big fat lie
And now you must die
Haiku # 55682 December 9, 2016 6:56 pm ET
by Shirley Smothers
Captain Kangaroo
Doing naughty things to you
poo and super glue
Haiku # 55675 December 9, 2016 1:21 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
yes i know sometimes
i do haiku sometimes i
undo haiku...peace
Haiku # 55674 December 8, 2016 11:58 am ET
by vhs
you misunderstand
haiku; it's more than just three
meagre broken lines
Haiku # 55673 December 8, 2016 6:53 am ET
by Feliway66 of Bud / HU
you misunderstand
haiku; it
Haiku # 55672 December 8, 2016 6:33 am ET
by Feliway66 of Budapest, HU
fifty five thousand
six hundred seventy one
and they are all bad!
Haiku # 55671 December 8, 2016 1:11 am ET
by compost heap
i think that was you
know like survivalist food
for sale in buckets

and jim bakker and
his we can make a table
with these buckets...he's

probably crazy
Haiku # 55670 December 7, 2016 11:26 am ET
by vhs
Subterranean
That is the future my friends
Start digging your holes
Haiku # 55669 December 7, 2016 1:02 am ET
by Renowned Futurist of an obscure tabloid
what is profound is
of course the fact that a guy
who teaches skool is

just a blip in the
life of someone passing through
that skool of passing...
Haiku # 55667 December 6, 2016 12:55 pm ET
by vhs of strangers in the night, forever beeping
You are reading words
The words will make you think things
Then you will forget
Haiku # 55666 December 6, 2016 12:54 am ET
by Profound Intellectual of a fancy university
Christmas is coming
Bad elf under mistletoe
Santa rides the sleigh
Haiku # 55664 December 5, 2016 12:35 pm ET
by Billy of Northern VA
Men who fuck chickens
look down on those who fuck goats
because that's just sick.
Haiku # 55658 December 5, 2016 5:30 am ET
by df
No, Garth, you are wrong.
A self-referring poem
is not poetry.

So what is it then?
Sad comedy at its best.
But that's okay too.

Here's an example:
This haiku is so stupid.
You see what I mean?
Haiku # 55657 December 5, 2016 12:47 am ET
by df of Los Gofuckyourselfistanibadvilleberg
All hope is now lost.
Genocide by a Tweeto.
(A Cheeto that tweets.)

Drink some orange food dye
in the hopes of blending in
and avoid the camps.

You will not be starved.
You will be force fed Cheetos
and Dr. Pepper.
Haiku # 55656 December 5, 2016 12:39 am ET
by df
What is green and dangerous? A gooseberry with a machine gun - October Weather
Haiku # 55655 December 4, 2016 7:04 pm ET
by October Weather of Tenerife
self referential
you broke your own stupid rule
evil figpucker
Haiku # 55654 December 4, 2016 6:54 pm ET
by Garth Wigsucker
>>I'm only human.
Occasionally I fart.
And it's not a fart.
>>In line at Walmart.
In loose fitting khaki shorts.
What a mess I made.
>>The intercom blared,
"Clean up at register six.
Bring Clorox and gloves."
>>People then took pics
to upload onto Facebook.
That's my five minutes.
Haiku # 55652 December 4, 2016 5:39 am ET
by Darth Figpucker of Merry Christmas!
Funny how the spam
vanishes after I drop
a poop bomb, ain't it.
Haiku # 55647 December 1, 2016 10:09 pm ET
by df
Okay, vhs.
If you think praying will work,
Pray all you wan to.

Or... you can try to email Janis to see if you can learn the code to log in to the website host and delete all the spam as it comes in. Imagine, actually doing something about it. Wow. He helps those who help me. Good luck.

Oh....

POOP!

Happy?
Haiku # 55646 December 1, 2016 10:06 pm ET
by df
you know my beliefs
have me think i can wage a
thing called "spiritual"

warfare" on say spam.
what good does it do to pray
against spam postings?
Haiku # 55645 December 1, 2016 4:45 pm ET
by vhs
Are you okay sir?
Maybe you should take a rest!
There is something wrong...



...with you...



...I hate haiku.
Haiku # 55644 December 1, 2016 7:54 am ET
by Adam
Definitely, what a fantastic website and informative posts, I definitely will bookmark your blog.All the Best!
Haiku # 55584 December 1, 2016 5:26 am ET
by yeopipyr of USA
My name is David
I am the worstest person
Elevator farts!
Haiku # 55583 November 30, 2016 9:39 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
My name is Adam
I am the best person lol
Plz reply to this!
Haiku # 55582 November 30, 2016 9:14 am ET
by Adam of San Francisco, Mexico
Hey there, vhs.
Do you know HTML?
Or any coding?

You should ask Janis
to let you be an admin
to wipe out the spam.
Haiku # 55578 November 30, 2016 4:34 am ET
by
basketball frisbee
lacrosse hockey tennis golf
weightlifting rugby
Haiku # 55577 November 30, 2016 1:16 am ET
by sport
Stop spamming
Haiku # 55573 November 29, 2016 2:22 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
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Haiku # 55569 November 29, 2016 4:15 am ET
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Haiku # 55568 November 29, 2016 4:15 am ET
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Haiku # 55567 November 29, 2016 4:15 am ET
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Haiku # 55566 November 29, 2016 4:14 am ET
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Haiku # 55565 November 29, 2016 1:40 am ET
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Haiku # 55561 November 28, 2016 2:37 pm ET
by pyrerroi of USA
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The guy is a piece of shit
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Haiku # 55560 November 28, 2016 1:59 pm ET
by Bertie of The great white north
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Haiku # 55556 November 28, 2016 5:47 am ET
by tttwyypu of USA
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Haiku # 55555 November 28, 2016 4:45 am ET
by oeiterou of USA
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Haiku # 55554 November 28, 2016 4:45 am ET
by ttwyyput of USA
If we wrote haiku
with quills and cotton paper,
this site might improve.
Haiku # 55553 November 28, 2016 1:10 am ET
by
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