BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
22 Years
249 Days
and
65365 Haikus
later...
I hated your smiles,
screaming, shouting, angrily
shattering my mind.
Haiku #55919, by Robin Goodfellow
January 13, 2017 12:29 pm ET

Virus pasta strands.
Uncoiled in a tin can.
It's not Italian.

Canned corn beef and Spam.
Rejected genital meat.
Pressure cooked nostrils.

Nitrates to preserve.
And to weaken the sperm cells.
Thus we slide backwards.

It is as designed.
And appears to be working.
The poor grow stupid.
Haiku #55918, by
January 13, 2017 1:58 am ET

Listen to heartbeats
of the time I spent with you;
remorse and regret
Haiku #55917, by Robin Goodfellow
January 12, 2017 12:54 pm ET

Never seen monkeys
using any monkey wrench.
This confuses me
Haiku #55916, by Adorable Kittens
January 12, 2017 11:15 am ET

Raviolli give
me the formuolli cuz
I have AIDS in my
Haiku #55915, by Anonymous Poet of keester
January 12, 2017 9:01 am ET

Oh, give me a break.
You could use a few monkeys.
But couldn't we all.
Haiku #55914, by Anonymous Poet
January 12, 2017 8:33 am ET

when the spam shows up
it is like the monkey wrench
knocks out my writing

distraction
Haiku #55913, by vhs
January 11, 2017 1:26 pm ET

Falling in love with
Death and his clockworks, though you're
still clinging to life.
Haiku #55912, by Robin Goodfellow
January 11, 2017 11:09 am ET

This is a great blog, would you be involved in doing an interview about how you created it? If so email me!
Haiku #55911, by Anonymous Poet of USA
January 11, 2017 6:18 am ET

This is a great blog, would you be involved in doing an interview about how you created it? If so email me!
Haiku #55910, by Anonymous Poet of USA
January 11, 2017 6:18 am ET

I'm really enjoying the themedesign of your website. Do you ever run into any internet browser compatibility issues? A handful of my blog audience have complained about my site not operating correctly in Explorer but looks great in Firefox. Do you have any solutions to help fix this problem?
Haiku #55909, by Anonymous Poet of USA
January 11, 2017 4:35 am ET

I'm really enjoying the themedesign of your website. Do you ever run into any internet browser compatibility issues? A handful of my blog audience have complained about my site not operating correctly in Explorer but looks great in Firefox. Do you have any solutions to help fix this problem?
Haiku #55908, by Anonymous Poet of USA
January 11, 2017 4:35 am ET

I'm looking forward
to the extinction of us
with ice cream on top.

Event A La Mode.
Though chocolate is preferred.
We'll make cool fossils.
Haiku #55907, by
January 11, 2017 1:49 am ET

But Beethoven's butt
bounces by beautifully
between bassoon beats.
Haiku #55906, by
January 11, 2017 12:37 am ET

Queefs are pussy farts.
But they are not really farts.
But that's a good thing.
Haiku #55905, by
January 11, 2017 12:33 am ET

Wide, innocent sighs
dreams and nightmares fall for you
like lovers in time
Haiku #55904, by Robin Goodfellow
January 10, 2017 3:43 pm ET

i might argue that
Rapture is a song by Blondie
Fab Five Freddy...
Haiku #55903, by vhs
January 10, 2017 1:27 pm ET

When dogs rule the world
We will greet one another
With much butt sniffing
Haiku #55902, by Renowned Futurist
January 10, 2017 9:01 am ET

Christ, I need coffee.
Fuck all this poetry shit.
The drug is calling.
Haiku #55901, by
January 9, 2017 9:01 pm ET

The rapture happened.
Only three people arose.
We are what is left.
Haiku #55900, by of
January 9, 2017 8:57 pm ET

the old stand bys stand
obliterated by the
passage of passing
Haiku #55899, by vhs
January 9, 2017 11:56 am ET

Of philosophies
dead branches of withered nights;
rotting memories
Haiku #55898, by Robin Goodfellow
January 9, 2017 11:23 am ET

Hello!
Haiku #55897, by opyyouuw of USA
January 9, 2017 4:11 am ET

Elegies from hymnals
grace in nightingale cages;
songs for a loved one
Haiku #55896, by Robin Goodfellow
January 8, 2017 4:25 pm ET

when the Rapture comes
along and the seven year
period passes

will the bad haiku
still be here, a testament
to all gone before?
Haiku #55895, by vhs of of course i am skeptical
January 8, 2017 10:48 am ET

Write an acronym
Of your name or else you will
Explode XD lol
Haiku #55894, by Meme
January 8, 2017 8:00 am ET

Do not eat pink snow
It will make you very sick
Learned that the hard way
Haiku #55893, by Adorable Kittens
January 8, 2017 3:19 am ET

Don't eat golden ice.
It's golden retriever pee.
My grandma told me.
Haiku #55892, by
January 7, 2017 5:41 pm ET

Drops of golden ice
Helpless in withered flowers
Silver streams of silent dreams
Haiku #55891, by Robin Goodfellow
January 7, 2017 12:48 pm ET

My haiku are great.
You're gonna love my haiku.
They're gonna be yuge!
Haiku #55890, by Donald Trump of Almost in the White House
January 7, 2017 5:04 am ET

Donald Trump should post
his tweets here on this website
in haiku format.
Haiku #55889, by Heil Cheeto!
January 7, 2017 5:01 am ET

We should go to war.
Most of China would love to see
a new government.
Haiku #55888, by Anonymous Poet
January 7, 2017 4:58 am ET

Yeah, yeah! CRT.
Send money now, fartknockers!
I'll buy some nachos.

And maybe TP.
And burritos and nachos!
Send money, bungholes.

Bow down before The
Almighty Bungholio.
And send that money.
Haiku #55887, by Cornholio of Lake Titicaca
January 7, 2017 4:55 am ET

China has got shit.
Poverty, pollution, smog.
Plastic cheap garbage.

Their rich vacation
in non-polluted countries,
scheming to buy land.

And turn those countries
into Chinese colonies,
filthy polluted shit holes just like China has become!
Haiku #55886, by Anonymous Poet
January 7, 2017 4:43 am ET

We should be buddies.
China has toxic whoop ass,
plus lots of people
Haiku #55885, by Russian Diplomat of Abouttobeexpelledistan
January 7, 2017 1:20 am ET

Silver lullabies
with warm candlelight nearby
for Earth's clockwork night
Haiku #55884, by Robin Goodfellow
January 6, 2017 10:41 am ET

would the first church of
beavis and butthead be a
legal religion

where people watch vids
on a CRT TV
and say "this sucks..." or

"woah that's cool...." oh how
they have forgotten what sucks
and what is cool now
Haiku #55883, by vhs
January 6, 2017 10:33 am ET

Believe in Beavis.
First Church of Cornholio.
Offers of TP.

Do you have TP?
Or do you have no TP?
We have no bunghole.

Anoint your bunghole
with oleo and TP.
Yeah, that would be cool.
Haiku #55882, by First Church of Cornholio the Great.
January 5, 2017 11:06 pm ET

Weeping o'er the dark
Black Oceans caress the pain
of a loved one lost
Haiku #55881, by Robin Goodfellow
January 5, 2017 1:17 pm ET

i wonder who came
up with the idea art needs
a liscense, status?
Haiku #55880, by vhs
January 5, 2017 1:07 pm ET

It's the ninja code.
Japaneseish or something.
Look at the post card!

Go eat your sushi!
Family Feudalism
without wasabi.

I need to get my
artistic license renewed
or pay the large fine.
Haiku #55879, by df
January 4, 2017 10:26 pm ET

I'm sorry you feel that way, what i read here i find rather disturbing, quite disturbing, not the sex doll thing so much but the devaluing of life
Haiku #55878, by vhs
January 4, 2017 11:35 am ET

There once was a man from Nantookit
who took out his dick and shook it
at everyone that he saw
although against the law
for a toothpick they mistook it.
Haiku #55877, by
January 3, 2017 7:50 pm ET

Electrophiles
are freaks who love electrons.
The chem teacher lied.
Haiku #55876, by
January 3, 2017 7:47 pm ET

When I was little and I had no sense
I too a piss on the electric fence.
It shocked my dick, it shocked my balls,
I took a shit in my overalls.
Haiku #55875, by
January 3, 2017 7:45 pm ET

Murder is an art.
Those who do it in hatred
are barbaric scum.
Haiku #55874, by Darth Figpucker
January 2, 2017 11:18 pm ET

I just ordered a
Hello Kitty sex doll from
Amazon dot com.
Haiku #55873, by Darth Figpucker
January 2, 2017 11:15 pm ET

I hate the way that
Asians take pics of their food
before they eat it.
Haiku #55872, by Darth Figpucker of The most disgusting CR (restroom) in the Philippines.
January 2, 2017 11:12 pm ET

Drugs can do good things.
Amphetamine-dried nostrils.
Pluck out those nose hairs.
Haiku #55871, by Nad Nostril and His Nine Nasty Nose-Pickers playing "I'll Get You Yet, You Booger." Pick it, boys!
January 2, 2017 11:08 pm ET

To chop off your head,
recording the slice and thud,
would make me happy.
Haiku #55870, by Samurai Jack Daniels of Population Control
January 2, 2017 11:03 pm ET