Vogons do not share.
You of all people should know.
This website is MINE!!!

Mwahh ha haaa haa HAAAAAaaaa...!
(evil laughter echoing away in the void...)

Yeah, it is boring here. Hell, I though you were a pussy, but those other guys can't hang. You're a tough nut, vhs. My hat off to you... oh, I don't wear a hat... well then my pants off to you instead. ;-)

i've been trying to
get people to post here too
i think we're the last

hate it though

Hello!

Nourishment is good.
Good for the heart, mind, and soul.
Cheetos and Coors Light.

Manatee jerky.
Displayed next to bubble gum.
This is in China.

My vagina stinks.
I've tried the leading douches.
What do you suggest?

occasionally
alumni stop by to post
anonymously

I chased them all off.
It's expected from Vogons.
It's in our nature.

do any of the folks
who used to post here stop in
and post some haiku?

Well that IS horseshit.
Here we peddle doom and gloom.
You care to buy some?

I predict a war.
Fought not with bombs and bullets,
but with diseases.

Infected soldiers
infiltrate the enemy
to spread STDs.

psychic detectives
sad pile of steamy horseshit
pedlers of false hope

well if that were to
happen the ads for shaving
cream would appear here

"new for ball shaving, to reach those hard to reach nether regions! only 1.50 and highly senstive, also useful for facial features and reinactments of that disturbing scene in Pink Floyd's the Wall for fetish parties!"

ok Gen X where'd you go

This is not so fun.
There are other things to do;
shave each others' balls.

we have been reduced
to ads ads and ads and where's
the cheesy web page?

celebrating the life of mr spock with captain kirk in chains?

More Chinese scam shoes.
They will soon own the whole world.
Trump will be their bitch.

Vaginas explode.
And penises will fly off.
It's caused by gluten.

Do not be a kook.
Go around the impact zone.
It's polite and safe.

Hello!

fly buzzes around,
making an annoying sound,
that's why it must die

You know it's bad when
Inuits feel ennui.
It's innuendo.

It's in your end, oh!
Acid suppository.
LSD, that is.

Are you counting days
'Til Suicide Squad comes out?
You'll need some Kleenex.

And not for crying.
I think I'll take my Flesh Light.
Hope no one hears it.

9 levels of hell
but it's just fucking ennui
we all have that stuff

it's called existentialism...

I understand now,
Life is like toilet paper.
Still stuck in the drain....

An acre is the area of a rectangle whose length is one furlong and whose width is one chain.

One furlong = 660 feet
one chain = 66 feet
one acre = 43560 feet squared.

I think I'll buy me a football team.

I can sense the fire
It is terribly hungry
Feeding it children

what's my answer, i
don't know, all opinions are
speculation, signs

Windows 10 is shit.
The graphics are horrible.
It's slow and locks up.

Can bugs be happy?
Butterflies look like they are.
That's all that matters.

Found the love of me online,
where to find my love?
Created the heart of me online,
Where to create my heart online?

What would be the cost
of a new lunar rocket?
Should I build my own?

Two men in a park.
They were fucking and sucking.
Vaping is more gay.

The monster truck roared.
It spat gravel like buck shot.
I needs me a beer!

Some people read books.
While other people do not.
Choose your side wisely.

Air molecules bounce
randomly predetermined
by clandestine gods.

Children play in mud.
At the beach by the sewer.
They'll live forever.

I'll pick some flowers.
Then I'll give them to some nuns.
Nuns need more flowers.

Arrrrr, I'm a pirate!
I have a wooden peg leg...
Like to admire it?

privacy is a
thing that the narcissitic
internet world view

has lost a sense of
one can be too positive
we need more fuck off

in our lives

There's something right there.
And something else over here.
Not sure what this is.

I find if funny
when someone thinks it's for them
when it's all for me.

vaginal hair slime
veinous hardon saliva
vile ham suet

"Snarf" is a term that
I made up to mean lack of
the sense of smell.

A marriage of the
words "sniff" and "deaf" sort of
but not completely.

Snarf is also the
Thundercats' pet Skeletor
uses like a mouse.

Meaning Skeletor
sticks Snarf deep up his rectum
for anal pleasure.

Snarf wrecked his rectum.
Now it's a flatus rectum,
not latus rectum.

Say "flatus rectum"
to an algebra teacher
to piss him/her off.

Parabolas suck.
y equals x fucking squared.
Like who gives a shit?!

i found your buttocks
on my face snarf snarf snarf snarf
thanks for the anus

viktor frankl's man's search for meaning, now i don't think that will cheer you up but, i like you too much to shut up

hmm that was a good
one but there''s a lot to say
about good haiku

There are no more words
In these silent steps tonight-
Every shadow gone

Shut up and suck it!
Love is an invented lie.
Why would you want that?!

He was a one-eyed,
one-horned flying purple
penis eater!

But did the monster fly?
Or did he eat flying penises?
And was the monster purple?
Or the penises? I always wonder
that every time I hear that song.
What was the intent of the song writer?
I felt bad for the monster.
Because if he only ate purple people,
he would likely starve to death.
Though it would be cool to be able
to fly.

Oh shut the fuck up!
No one asked your opinion!
You're a stupid cunt!

"The Lord regretted
that he had made man on Earth,
he grieved in his heart."

If you love children,
then you should not have any,
they will disappoint.

Or maybe they'll die.
Earth has no future except
pollution and death.

God made it that way.
It's a game that's rigged to lose.
Just like casinos.

Fold your cards and go.
Walk away from the table.
You do not need this.

Genesis 6:6.
That sums up how I feel.
We deserve to die.

Ground Mongolian.
Man, woman, or child meat.
It makes tasty stew!

Order yours online.
Chinese Exotic Imports,
dot com, but of course.

Look for the red stamp:
Genuine Mongolian.
Comes with free spices.

We also carry
Philippino, Korean,
Thai, and Laotian.