Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 41 Days and 77432 Haiku later...

i've been trying to
get people to post here too
i think we're the last

hate it though
Haiku # 54139, August 3, 2016 12:52 pm ET
by vhs
Hello!
Haiku # 54137, August 2, 2016 9:36 pm ET
by rwoppoip of USA
Nourishment is good.
Good for the heart, mind, and soul.
Cheetos and Coors Light.
Haiku # 54136, August 2, 2016 8:51 am ET
by Ash's Grandmother
Manatee jerky.
Displayed next to bubble gum.
This is in China.
Haiku # 54135, August 2, 2016 1:04 am ET
by df
My vagina stinks.
I've tried the leading douches.
What do you suggest?
Haiku # 54134, August 1, 2016 9:42 am ET
by Hillary Clinton, your future President of The United States of America
occasionally
alumni stop by to post
anonymously
Haiku # 54133, August 1, 2016 12:31 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
I chased them all off.
It's expected from Vogons.
It's in our nature.
Haiku # 54132, July 31, 2016 8:46 am ET
by df
do any of the folks
who used to post here stop in
and post some haiku?
Haiku # 54131, July 30, 2016 1:10 pm ET
by vhs
Well that IS horseshit.
Here we peddle doom and gloom.
You care to buy some?

I predict a war.
Fought not with bombs and bullets,
but with diseases.

Infected soldiers
infiltrate the enemy
to spread STDs.
Haiku # 54130, July 30, 2016 7:21 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
psychic detectives
sad pile of steamy horseshit
pedlers of false hope
Haiku # 54129, July 30, 2016 1:11 am ET
by Androgynous Bowl of Soup
well if that were to
happen the ads for shaving
cream would appear here

"new for ball shaving, to reach those hard to reach nether regions! only 1.50 and highly senstive, also useful for facial features and reinactments of that disturbing scene in Pink Floyd's the Wall for fetish parties!"

ok Gen X where'd you go
Haiku # 54128, July 29, 2016 7:16 pm ET
by vhs
This is not so fun.
There are other things to do;
shave each others' balls.
Haiku # 54127, July 29, 2016 4:20 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
we have been reduced
to ads ads and ads and where's
the cheesy web page?

celebrating the life of mr spock with captain kirk in chains?
Haiku # 54074, July 27, 2016 12:40 pm ET
by vhs
More Chinese scam shoes.
They will soon own the whole world.
Trump will be their bitch.
Haiku # 54073, July 27, 2016 5:07 am ET
by df
Vaginas explode.
And penises will fly off.
It's caused by gluten.
Haiku # 54069, July 26, 2016 7:46 pm ET
by Mr. Mackey, Mkay
Do not be a kook.
Go around the impact zone.
It's polite and safe.
Haiku # 54068, July 26, 2016 5:32 pm ET
by df
Hello!
Haiku # 54067, July 26, 2016 5:07 am ET
by wpperuwt of USA
fly buzzes around,
making an annoying sound,
that's why it must die

Haiku # 54066, July 26, 2016 1:43 am ET
by Pest Control of Monsantostan
You know it's bad when
Inuits feel ennui.
It's innuendo.

It's in your end, oh!
Acid suppository.
LSD, that is.

Are you counting days
'Til Suicide Squad comes out?
You'll need some Kleenex.

And not for crying.
I think I'll take my Flesh Light.
Hope no one hears it.
Haiku # 54065, July 25, 2016 5:46 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
9 levels of hell
but it's just fucking ennui
we all have that stuff

it's called existentialism...
Haiku # 54064, July 24, 2016 2:11 pm ET
by vhs
I understand now,
Life is like toilet paper.
Still stuck in the drain....
Haiku # 54063, July 23, 2016 8:17 pm ET
by Lost of Slightly deeper layer of hell
An acre is the area of a rectangle whose length is one furlong and whose width is one chain.

One furlong = 660 feet
one chain = 66 feet
one acre = 43560 feet squared.

I think I'll buy me a football team.
Haiku # 54062, July 23, 2016 12:40 am ET
by df
I can sense the fire
It is terribly hungry
Feeding it children
Haiku # 54061, July 22, 2016 2:54 pm ET
by Lost of Hell
what's my answer, i
don't know, all opinions are
speculation, signs
Haiku # 54060, July 22, 2016 2:24 pm ET
by vhs
Windows 10 is shit.
The graphics are horrible.
It's slow and locks up.
Haiku # 54059, July 21, 2016 10:58 pm ET
by df
Can bugs be happy?
Butterflies look like they are.
That's all that matters.
Haiku # 54058, July 21, 2016 10:56 pm ET
by df
Found the love of me online,
where to find my love?
Created the heart of me online,
Where to create my heart online?
Haiku # 54057, July 21, 2016 1:31 pm ET
by Emily of Los Angeles
What would be the cost
of a new lunar rocket?
Should I build my own?
Haiku # 54056, July 21, 2016 1:07 am ET
by df
Two men in a park.
They were fucking and sucking.
Vaping is more gay.
Haiku # 54055, July 21, 2016 1:04 am ET
by df
The monster truck roared.
It spat gravel like buck shot.
I needs me a beer!
Haiku # 54054, July 21, 2016 1:02 am ET
by df
Some people read books.
While other people do not.
Choose your side wisely.
Haiku # 54053, July 20, 2016 10:33 pm ET
by Winnie the Pooh's brother Syd of The 88.5 Acre Wood
Air molecules bounce
randomly predetermined
by clandestine gods.
Haiku # 54052, July 20, 2016 8:14 am ET
by iamback of W00T W00T!
Children play in mud.
At the beach by the sewer.
They'll live forever.
Haiku # 54051, July 19, 2016 8:46 pm ET
by df
I'll pick some flowers.
Then I'll give them to some nuns.
Nuns need more flowers.
Haiku # 54048, July 18, 2016 9:03 pm ET
by df
Arrrrr, I'm a pirate!
I have a wooden peg leg...
Like to admire it?
Haiku # 54047, July 18, 2016 8:53 pm ET
by Peace Nozzle of Drunkistan
privacy is a
thing that the narcissitic
internet world view

has lost a sense of
one can be too positive
we need more fuck off

in our lives
Haiku # 54046, July 18, 2016 1:08 pm ET
by vhs
There's something right there.
And something else over here.
Not sure what this is.
Haiku # 54045, July 18, 2016 4:52 am ET
by victorious hair spray
I find if funny
when someone thinks it's for them
when it's all for me.

vaginal hair slime
veinous hardon saliva
vile ham suet
Haiku # 54044, July 17, 2016 11:34 pm ET
by df
"Snarf" is a term that
I made up to mean lack of
the sense of smell.

A marriage of the
words "sniff" and "deaf" sort of
but not completely.

Snarf is also the
Thundercats' pet Skeletor
uses like a mouse.

Meaning Skeletor
sticks Snarf deep up his rectum
for anal pleasure.

Snarf wrecked his rectum.
Now it's a flatus rectum,
not latus rectum.

Say "flatus rectum"
to an algebra teacher
to piss him/her off.

Parabolas suck.
y equals x fucking squared.
Like who gives a shit?!
Haiku # 54043, July 17, 2016 11:15 pm ET
by df
i found your buttocks
on my face snarf snarf snarf snarf
thanks for the anus
Haiku # 54042, July 17, 2016 10:22 pm ET
by Anil Dyk of Mars
viktor frankl's man's search for meaning, now i don't think that will cheer you up but, i like you too much to shut up
Haiku # 54041, July 17, 2016 10:55 am ET
by vhs
hmm that was a good
one but there''s a lot to say
about good haiku
Haiku # 54040, July 17, 2016 10:53 am ET
by vhs
There are no more words
In these silent steps tonight-
Every shadow gone
Haiku # 54039, July 17, 2016 2:09 am ET
by Sauh of Southern US
Shut up and suck it!
Love is an invented lie.
Why would you want that?!
Haiku # 54038, July 16, 2016 11:05 pm ET
by df the spammers have been quiet of late
He was a one-eyed,
one-horned flying purple
penis eater!

But did the monster fly?
Or did he eat flying penises?
And was the monster purple?
Or the penises? I always wonder
that every time I hear that song.
What was the intent of the song writer?
I felt bad for the monster.
Because if he only ate purple people,
he would likely starve to death.
Though it would be cool to be able
to fly.
Haiku # 54037, July 16, 2016 6:15 pm ET
by df
Oh shut the fuck up!
No one asked your opinion!
You're a stupid cunt!
Haiku # 54036, July 16, 2016 6:09 pm ET
by df
"The Lord regretted
that he had made man on Earth,
he grieved in his heart."

If you love children,
then you should not have any,
they will disappoint.

Or maybe they'll die.
Earth has no future except
pollution and death.

God made it that way.
It's a game that's rigged to lose.
Just like casinos.

Fold your cards and go.
Walk away from the table.
You do not need this.
Haiku # 54035, July 16, 2016 6:07 pm ET
by df
Genesis 6:6.
That sums up how I feel.
We deserve to die.
Haiku # 54034, July 16, 2016 5:51 pm ET
by df
Ground Mongolian.
Man, woman, or child meat.
It makes tasty stew!

Order yours online.
Chinese Exotic Imports,
dot com, but of course.

Look for the red stamp:
Genuine Mongolian.
Comes with free spices.

We also carry
Philippino, Korean,
Thai, and Laotian.
Haiku # 54033, July 15, 2016 8:07 pm ET
by df. Get a free clay figurine with every order of 10 or more.
There's a little pig-
fucker hiding in us all.
Release your redneck.
Haiku # 54032, July 15, 2016 2:59 pm ET
by df
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