The monster truck roared.
It spat gravel like buck shot.
I needs me a beer!

Some people read books.
While other people do not.
Choose your side wisely.

Air molecules bounce
randomly predetermined
by clandestine gods.

Children play in mud.
At the beach by the sewer.
They'll live forever.

I'll pick some flowers.
Then I'll give them to some nuns.
Nuns need more flowers.

Arrrrr, I'm a pirate!
I have a wooden peg leg...
Like to admire it?

privacy is a
thing that the narcissitic
internet world view

has lost a sense of
one can be too positive
we need more fuck off

in our lives

There's something right there.
And something else over here.
Not sure what this is.

I find if funny
when someone thinks it's for them
when it's all for me.

vaginal hair slime
veinous hardon saliva
vile ham suet

"Snarf" is a term that
I made up to mean lack of
the sense of smell.

A marriage of the
words "sniff" and "deaf" sort of
but not completely.

Snarf is also the
Thundercats' pet Skeletor
uses like a mouse.

Meaning Skeletor
sticks Snarf deep up his rectum
for anal pleasure.

Snarf wrecked his rectum.
Now it's a flatus rectum,
not latus rectum.

Say "flatus rectum"
to an algebra teacher
to piss him/her off.

Parabolas suck.
y equals x fucking squared.
Like who gives a shit?!

i found your buttocks
on my face snarf snarf snarf snarf
thanks for the anus

viktor frankl's man's search for meaning, now i don't think that will cheer you up but, i like you too much to shut up

hmm that was a good
one but there''s a lot to say
about good haiku

There are no more words
In these silent steps tonight-
Every shadow gone

Shut up and suck it!
Love is an invented lie.
Why would you want that?!

He was a one-eyed,
one-horned flying purple
penis eater!

But did the monster fly?
Or did he eat flying penises?
And was the monster purple?
Or the penises? I always wonder
that every time I hear that song.
What was the intent of the song writer?
I felt bad for the monster.
Because if he only ate purple people,
he would likely starve to death.
Though it would be cool to be able
to fly.

Oh shut the fuck up!
No one asked your opinion!
You're a stupid cunt!

"The Lord regretted
that he had made man on Earth,
he grieved in his heart."

If you love children,
then you should not have any,
they will disappoint.

Or maybe they'll die.
Earth has no future except
pollution and death.

God made it that way.
It's a game that's rigged to lose.
Just like casinos.

Fold your cards and go.
Walk away from the table.
You do not need this.

Genesis 6:6.
That sums up how I feel.
We deserve to die.

Ground Mongolian.
Man, woman, or child meat.
It makes tasty stew!

Order yours online.
Chinese Exotic Imports,
dot com, but of course.

Look for the red stamp:
Genuine Mongolian.
Comes with free spices.

We also carry
Philippino, Korean,
Thai, and Laotian.

There's a little pig-
fucker hiding in us all.
Release your redneck.

Buy tiger cub meat.
Buy tiger penis jerky.
It makes your dick big!

Order yours today.
Only seven thousand baht!
Buddha will love you.

it's like the attack
of the billboards posting do
i want to buy "x"

oh these crazy folks
and their Pokemon GO it's
gone all Pikachu...

i guess it's become
an on line on going blurb
of dadaism

Pikachu boners!
Japanime luncheon meat.
Vienna sausage.

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well when you are of
course speaking in toungues one is
not really in control

yaba dabba dooo iffy eply manuever hurvarata twist

what did he say?

he said God wants you to shove your head somewhere

Here's a better one:
Ass Assassins in Ass Sin.
It rolls off your tongue.

Snuffalupagus
Bangs Big Bird's Butt video.
Let's call it snuff porn.

Another porn flick:
Ass Assassins in Her Ass.
I just made it up.

Nuclear launch codes.
Peanut butter and jelly.
Enormous boner.

We need a new brand.
Something with a zingy name.
Ameritastic!

there's a time to um
complain and then there's a time
to just recover

scrotal itch again
festering, pestering, dang
STDs, bereave

wherein lay the blame
vicious criminals once slain
shall I holster mine?

spying ballsack cleft
I deduced a sordid scheme
half-assed hybrid staff

I sought my better
and awoke desultory
absent solution

vile hysteria
provokes villainous shit smear
silence is golden

They sing quite badly.
This they do until you pay.
Then they go away.

going offline,
island has fresh air,
bluescreen.

The bird was fresh killed.
But the cat would not eat it.
Lord, what have I done?

I'm teaching my kids
to be cannibalistic.
Perhaps they'll eat me.

schadenfreude ? too right !
the representative swill
shall rinse and repeat

I call this poem
"Yet another dumb haiku".
And now it's over.

Thank you.

Never give monkeys
the jobs that white men should do.
Christ, where is Janis?
Out of control spam.
If porn, it would be okay.
"SEO" my ass.
Give them your money.
And it will then disappear.
Likely they're Russian.
Or maybe Chinese.
Or maybe North Korean.
Or from New Jersey.

I must need a gun.
That spam website told me so.
Amazing pictures.

I'll spend seven grand.
Sure, I'll trust this foreign site.
It must be legit.

If they scam someone,
I guess they should scam gun freaks.
That's some good scamming.

don't get me started
on the culture of food when...
man started thinking

with his cultural
gut, then the brain went out the
windows 95 thing...

I don't get Asians.
Thai food is sooo fucking good.
Yet they like McD!                                
"USA is good!
Crappy ground dog meat gourmet!
Me so upper class."                                  
Makes me want to puke.
Spam is a delicacy?!
They must all be high.                                  
Modern Asian food,
It is pure fucking poison.
Eat at your own risk.                                        
Find an old dirt road.
Walk to the "Grandma Cafe".
Food so good I cried.                                        

Oh, I like that name!
"Oh, you, oh poo" is sexy!
Too bad you are spam.

If Jesus did it,
I know you can do it too.
We're better than God.

Funny thing is that
we likely taste better too.
Bland bread and cheap wine.

I should bring squirt cheese
and a fifth of Thunderbird.
The priest would just shit!

Holy improvement!
He's never tasted better!
... Father forgive me.