Shut up and suck it!
Love is an invented lie.
Why would you want that?!

He was a one-eyed,
one-horned flying purple
penis eater!

But did the monster fly?
Or did he eat flying penises?
And was the monster purple?
Or the penises? I always wonder
that every time I hear that song.
What was the intent of the song writer?
I felt bad for the monster.
Because if he only ate purple people,
he would likely starve to death.
Though it would be cool to be able
to fly.

Oh shut the fuck up!
No one asked your opinion!
You're a stupid cunt!

"The Lord regretted
that he had made man on Earth,
he grieved in his heart."

If you love children,
then you should not have any,
they will disappoint.

Or maybe they'll die.
Earth has no future except
pollution and death.

God made it that way.
It's a game that's rigged to lose.
Just like casinos.

Fold your cards and go.
Walk away from the table.
You do not need this.

Genesis 6:6.
That sums up how I feel.
We deserve to die.

Ground Mongolian.
Man, woman, or child meat.
It makes tasty stew!

Order yours online.
Chinese Exotic Imports,
dot com, but of course.

Look for the red stamp:
Genuine Mongolian.
Comes with free spices.

We also carry
Philippino, Korean,
Thai, and Laotian.

There's a little pig-
fucker hiding in us all.
Release your redneck.

Buy tiger cub meat.
Buy tiger penis jerky.
It makes your dick big!

Order yours today.
Only seven thousand baht!
Buddha will love you.

it's like the attack
of the billboards posting do
i want to buy "x"

oh these crazy folks
and their Pokemon GO it's
gone all Pikachu...

i guess it's become
an on line on going blurb
of dadaism

Pikachu boners!
Japanime luncheon meat.
Vienna sausage.

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well when you are of
course speaking in toungues one is
not really in control

yaba dabba dooo iffy eply manuever hurvarata twist

what did he say?

he said God wants you to shove your head somewhere

Here's a better one:
Ass Assassins in Ass Sin.
It rolls off your tongue.

Snuffalupagus
Bangs Big Bird's Butt video.
Let's call it snuff porn.

Another porn flick:
Ass Assassins in Her Ass.
I just made it up.

Nuclear launch codes.
Peanut butter and jelly.
Enormous boner.

We need a new brand.
Something with a zingy name.
Ameritastic!

there's a time to um
complain and then there's a time
to just recover

scrotal itch again
festering, pestering, dang
STDs, bereave

wherein lay the blame
vicious criminals once slain
shall I holster mine?

spying ballsack cleft
I deduced a sordid scheme
half-assed hybrid staff

I sought my better
and awoke desultory
absent solution

vile hysteria
provokes villainous shit smear
silence is golden

They sing quite badly.
This they do until you pay.
Then they go away.

going offline,
island has fresh air,
bluescreen.

The bird was fresh killed.
But the cat would not eat it.
Lord, what have I done?

I'm teaching my kids
to be cannibalistic.
Perhaps they'll eat me.

schadenfreude ? too right !
the representative swill
shall rinse and repeat

I call this poem
"Yet another dumb haiku".
And now it's over.

Thank you.

Never give monkeys
the jobs that white men should do.
Christ, where is Janis?
Out of control spam.
If porn, it would be okay.
"SEO" my ass.
Give them your money.
And it will then disappear.
Likely they're Russian.
Or maybe Chinese.
Or maybe North Korean.
Or from New Jersey.

I must need a gun.
That spam website told me so.
Amazing pictures.

I'll spend seven grand.
Sure, I'll trust this foreign site.
It must be legit.

If they scam someone,
I guess they should scam gun freaks.
That's some good scamming.

don't get me started
on the culture of food when...
man started thinking

with his cultural
gut, then the brain went out the
windows 95 thing...

I don't get Asians.
Thai food is sooo fucking good.
Yet they like McD!                                
"USA is good!
Crappy ground dog meat gourmet!
Me so upper class."                                  
Makes me want to puke.
Spam is a delicacy?!
They must all be high.                                  
Modern Asian food,
It is pure fucking poison.
Eat at your own risk.                                        
Find an old dirt road.
Walk to the "Grandma Cafe".
Food so good I cried.                                        

Oh, I like that name!
"Oh, you, oh poo" is sexy!
Too bad you are spam.

If Jesus did it,
I know you can do it too.
We're better than God.

Funny thing is that
we likely taste better too.
Bland bread and cheap wine.

I should bring squirt cheese
and a fifth of Thunderbird.
The priest would just shit!

Holy improvement!
He's never tasted better!
... Father forgive me.

Do not kill yourself.
That's an unforgiven sin.
Allow us to help.

We'll kill you instead.
Then we will cook and eat you.
You won't go to waste.

Fattened soft poets.
Juicier than Kobe beef.
Slow roasted all day.

Sizzling fat sounds.
The last whine you'll ever make.
The body and blood.

the novelty has
worn off but over time it
can become some fun

i'm going to whine
again, but not kill myself
this is irony

I burned a haiku.
I wrote it down and lit it.
It screamed horribly.

I parked a booger.
Right upon the bathroom wall.
It was disgusting.

Though it's no surprise
that I then returned to find
many more boogers.

I counted seven.
It was a booger party.
Great minds think alike.

Why would I want that?
I do not want to be hard.
But my fat wife does.

Draw from the Dark Side.
Take power from others' pain.
Drink the tears of "friends".

Their incompetence
allows for opportunity
to find replacements.

Buy a meat grinder.
Keep it well-oiled and clean.
Use them for sausage.

Why aren't there any
cannibalistic Sith Lords?
I guess I'm the first.

apoplexia
serveth no purposeth
swingeth a wide dick

may i submit joy
via jolly crapulence?
emasculate d(e)a[r]th

ill lamentation
and self annihilation
have enslaved BH

I feel not but shame.
To live on earth as human.
Better a tape worm.

Hunter shot himself
to avoid a painful death,
not 'cause of Nixon!

"People have got to know whether or not their president's a chicken fucker. Well, I'm not a chicken fucker!" -- Nixon

I made yo momma!
And then yo momma made you.
Luke, I'm yo daddy!

".... Aw, hell nawwwww!"