going offline,
island has fresh air,
bluescreen.

The bird was fresh killed.
But the cat would not eat it.
Lord, what have I done?

I'm teaching my kids
to be cannibalistic.
Perhaps they'll eat me.

schadenfreude ? too right !
the representative swill
shall rinse and repeat

I call this poem
"Yet another dumb haiku".
And now it's over.

Thank you.

Never give monkeys
the jobs that white men should do.
Christ, where is Janis?
Out of control spam.
If porn, it would be okay.
"SEO" my ass.
Give them your money.
And it will then disappear.
Likely they're Russian.
Or maybe Chinese.
Or maybe North Korean.
Or from New Jersey.

I must need a gun.
That spam website told me so.
Amazing pictures.

I'll spend seven grand.
Sure, I'll trust this foreign site.
It must be legit.

If they scam someone,
I guess they should scam gun freaks.
That's some good scamming.

don't get me started
on the culture of food when...
man started thinking

with his cultural
gut, then the brain went out the
windows 95 thing...

I don't get Asians.
Thai food is sooo fucking good.
Yet they like McD!                                
"USA is good!
Crappy ground dog meat gourmet!
Me so upper class."                                  
Makes me want to puke.
Spam is a delicacy?!
They must all be high.                                  
Modern Asian food,
It is pure fucking poison.
Eat at your own risk.                                        
Find an old dirt road.
Walk to the "Grandma Cafe".
Food so good I cried.                                        

Oh, I like that name!
"Oh, you, oh poo" is sexy!
Too bad you are spam.

If Jesus did it,
I know you can do it too.
We're better than God.

Funny thing is that
we likely taste better too.
Bland bread and cheap wine.

I should bring squirt cheese
and a fifth of Thunderbird.
The priest would just shit!

Holy improvement!
He's never tasted better!
... Father forgive me.

Do not kill yourself.
That's an unforgiven sin.
Allow us to help.

We'll kill you instead.
Then we will cook and eat you.
You won't go to waste.

Fattened soft poets.
Juicier than Kobe beef.
Slow roasted all day.

Sizzling fat sounds.
The last whine you'll ever make.
The body and blood.

the novelty has
worn off but over time it
can become some fun

i'm going to whine
again, but not kill myself
this is irony

I burned a haiku.
I wrote it down and lit it.
It screamed horribly.

I parked a booger.
Right upon the bathroom wall.
It was disgusting.

Though it's no surprise
that I then returned to find
many more boogers.

I counted seven.
It was a booger party.
Great minds think alike.

Why would I want that?
I do not want to be hard.
But my fat wife does.

Draw from the Dark Side.
Take power from others' pain.
Drink the tears of "friends".

Their incompetence
allows for opportunity
to find replacements.

Buy a meat grinder.
Keep it well-oiled and clean.
Use them for sausage.

Why aren't there any
cannibalistic Sith Lords?
I guess I'm the first.

apoplexia
serveth no purposeth
swingeth a wide dick

may i submit joy
via jolly crapulence?
emasculate d(e)a[r]th

ill lamentation
and self annihilation
have enslaved BH

I feel not but shame.
To live on earth as human.
Better a tape worm.

Hunter shot himself
to avoid a painful death,
not 'cause of Nixon!

"People have got to know whether or not their president's a chicken fucker. Well, I'm not a chicken fucker!" -- Nixon

I made yo momma!
And then yo momma made you.
Luke, I'm yo daddy!

".... Aw, hell nawwwww!"

to the one who must
compare to the other when
hunter s. thompson

saw nixon die then
did he blow his mind out in a
space of his own then

enemies defined
by one another, the point
others do not make

us

Important Day - 04, July 2016 : Independence Day USA

All Quotes and Images site : Plusquotes.com

Incomplete sentence.
Self-referring poetry.
All merit voided.

Why can't we all die?
Earth would be a better place.
No strip malls in sight.

The vast ocean shore.
The crashing waves lullaby.
Singing to no one.

after all these years
greg has the touch
still suave as fuck

i miss gen x but
kurt cobain is dead and there's
a zeitgeist shift when

some voice passes on
others have to take their place
who will replace you?

ego likes to talk
it lacks insight then it dies
what else to say here

I am obnoxious.
That is an understatement
Poetry is dumb.

"Is she a squirter?"
Vaginal detonation,
what it should be called.

Marital hindrance.
Double arrow insertion.
Fucking molecules!

Saturday night blues
It's not something I would choose
Can't even drink booze

I tried MMA
It did not go very well
Got my ass kicked bad

I need a jet pack.
But Amazon or Ebay?
What do you suggest?

Christ, you're a pussy.
A whiny little bitch-boy.
Go get a sex change.

On the other hand,
To expect more from poets,
That is just stupid.

To man the fuck up,
it is just not possible,
not for a poet.

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one man takes over
a haiku website and ads
and i post here too

I have your child.
But that's the way life goes, Ace.
I'll name him Barrack.

Yours,
Amy

This is for a girl I slept with who didn't tell me she was dating my best friend. No one speaks to her anymore.

Amy, a raging whore.
Lying on back with legs spread.
You are not missed.

Customers file in
Mop, stock, check, and sell crack pipes
Convenience store blues

My wife is too fat.
Some young stud take her from me.
I'll make it worth it.

So much work to do.
And see what I am doing.
I should be fired.

Vector curvature.
Unit tangent binormal.
huh huh; "binormal".

Yeah, yeah, that was cool.
Heh heh, and you said "unit".
Boi-oi-oi-oi-oinng!

measured charisma
engorged, targeted chasm
finessed curvature