Critics everywhere
I'll punch them in the stomach
and watch them cry! HA!

The swing of the bat
Like thunder the ball leaves bat
Ooops... DUCK! OLD LADY!!!!!

This haiku was brought
to you by the letter Q;
Q is a bad ass

oh but don't get the
idea i'm like
bitter or nothing

a half-assed excuse
to sell hallmark and roses
fuck that, little cupid-butt

love is like santa
really big, really cheesy
really stupid lie

internet dating
sucks like an electrolux
so does other kind

ah well screw him then
or not, he can sink back to
the black depths he's from

i think i cracked his
fragile male ego -maybe
that's why no email

bored out of my skull
will something interesting
ever happen, huh?

okay that was dumb
this is BAD haiku, ya know
so sue me, it sucked

life is like a bowl
not cherries, not chocolate
toilet's accurate

fuck you washcloth douche
go watch some south park, okay?
irrigate your mind

Overconfident-
the damnable creep Spencer.
Whining intern nerd...

POWERPUFF GIRLS dream
of pounding Mojo Jojo,
a big-brained monkey

R M S you got
the idea your second
try-five the last line

I want to escape
Depart from the cloned workdays
Need more vacation!

no second chances
pay attention, learn quickly
adapt, overcome

Haiku is Poo Poo
If its bad, its sad for you
Have a nice day anyway

monkey junkie, don't
stick a needle in your lip
kisses won't be felt

damn, haiku is dumb.
why do you suppose that is?
like duh! stupid arse!

personality
lots of personality
face like a flounder

why complete silence?
Chealea is gone away now
awful solitude

it's been on awhile
but still, South Park makes me laugh
genius, pure genius

Watch a Pay-Per-View?
Only if it's wrestling
Damned hillbilly town

there is little to
be said in five seven five
so why even try

my mistaken shot
somewhat ruined my humour
is that addressing down ?

one minute you're there
intermittent power source
then suddenly you're

contented myself
with what office has to lend -
ancient computer

second prepaid card
couldn't damn connect at all
i've been fucked...fucked bad

"Server's still down, sir"
Sheepishly he feigns a smile:
Eat my kung fu chops

Increased inflation?
Practically spend your soul
Die Ambercrombie

Nothing is worse
Than A handicapped Haiku
With the first line short

tagger vandal paints
expressing his inner rage
writes "have a nice day"

I write bad haiku
but I am not the master
Sheena's is much worse

and we wear the cloth
it's all we can keep
against the winter

warps and slubs wove in
heartache like knots in the thread
bad mistakes and all

sorrow can't be fixed
like a dropped stitch reknitted
life just continues

wishing for things that
won't be in the time we have
on this cold planet

for the aching nights
we spent in tears or silence
wishing words unsaid

for the knowledge we'll
never really allow each
other to ease grief

i weep for us both
for the friendship we almost
found despite it all

she won't hear relief
tension is her poisoned drug
i weep for her heart

she'll never hear what
she thinks she shouldn't want to
she won't hear kindness

but working from hate
and the gall of her mother
she'll never hear peace

if she could only
speak to her holy ideal
he'd tell her it's fine

if she could only
open the eyes of her mind
and remember love

aren't really what
she believes to be the truth
if she could see it

fundamentalist
tendencies of her
angry childhood days

tight clothes and red nails
don't equal sluthood
i'm not what she thinks