for the knowledge we'll
never really allow each
other to ease grief

i weep for us both
for the friendship we almost
found despite it all

she won't hear relief
tension is her poisoned drug
i weep for her heart

she'll never hear what
she thinks she shouldn't want to
she won't hear kindness

but working from hate
and the gall of her mother
she'll never hear peace

if she could only
speak to her holy ideal
he'd tell her it's fine

if she could only
open the eyes of her mind
and remember love

aren't really what
she believes to be the truth
if she could see it

fundamentalist
tendencies of her
angry childhood days

tight clothes and red nails
don't equal sluthood
i'm not what she thinks

my love is sacred
despite my laughter, despite
my mischievous mind

One years worth of dirt
Caked on the body with love
One damn dirty car

Winner is not me
Always apologizing
Smiles equal NO!

Here comes the strap-on
Anal anticipation
Ecstasy! Shes next!

this is really strange
i've never exprerienced
a bad site like this

Where is the new stuff?
Why can't bad haiku be shown
newest to oldest?

work makes me lazy
when it comes to new haikus.
I should make more time.

her movements precise
spurred on by the memory
of unbending arms

the last bath must come
quickly she runs the water
into a basin

rigor set in quickly
looked like she'd been dead for days
in just an hour

Porn on DVD
An interactive coitus
Gonadotropic

Should I be flattered?
Asked to be in my Haikus
Of course! Hi Carrie.

reminiscences
memories diminishing
despite their sparkle

communication
subliminal messages
a bit of old chat

Funny question asked
"Why haven't you asked me out?"
You talking to me?

in my old high school
gymnasium, "Stairway
to Heaven" last chance to dance

Ja, Ich verstehe.
Du bist eine Sweinhund. Mein
Deutch suks? Ich wiess.

Warm sun, cool water
No worries and all fun, yet
Sleep at home is best

I wish I could electrocute you

Suppose that I hooked
a battery to the phone
would I hear you fry

Throw me another crumb

Please call accounting
There's an error on my check
You lost some zeros

She's Calling from Wal-Mart

You poor little thing
Why did god make you so dumb
He must hate me too

Every week someone
even more annoying arrives
than the week before.

E I Go De No
Ha I Ku Na N Te
Ku So Ku Ra E

I'm bored. I'm just bored.
Just here making bad haiku.
My haiku is crap.

I love haiku...yeah...
I just write some every day...
uh..well, no I don't.

Yo soy un gringo.
Donde esta mi mono?
Soy muy, muy triste.

Norb. Dagget. Angry...
Brothers that are beavers.yep.
Spoot, you spoothead. ha.

Donde esta el...
bano? I need to go...bad.
Where are you going?

consider me safe
i'm one professional guy
or so i profess

bastard gst
my galloping consumption
molested by ants

cattygoths, how lame
they really need to grow up
and need to get lives

Yoda. I love Yoda!
Long live the green guy..Yoda!
I love Yo-Yoda!

Yoda...oh so wise...
See Yoda sit on a log...
Sit, green guy, sit...

Four days of Silence
Great Lakes keep me from Haikus
At least I'll be tan

So, Pelican Bob,
I see you find writing poems
theraputic... freak.

A horrible thing
Nothing funny comes to mind
Haiku writer's block

Go away a bit...
Hard to catch up with it all.
So much new haiku.

carcinogenic
cola rots me inside but I
like my filmy teeth

I thought I'd try one
Not much fun being had here
My head hurts I'll stop

I thought I'd try one
Not much fun being had here
My head hurts I'll stop