To correctly write
haiku, you must constantly
count on your fingers.

after your mom and i fucked
i bought her a duck
man that bitch bucked

May is upon us
The Chinese restaurant's Dumpster
Horrendously reeks

eating the spinach
you crotch smells like a fish store
i never get head

Don't think me fickle<
But I like my cheeseburgers,
With extra pickles!

Chronic 2000
go do what Dr. dre says
buy it and bump it

Some haikuist jerks
Use this form to write obscene
And very dumb stuff

New England sucks ass
NEED OUTTA THIS FUCKING JOB
want a cold beer fast

skirt too short today
mail guy has been catcalling
get over it please!

eFortress Sucks
I dont like working here
why must i be here? IT BLOWS!

eFortress Sucks
I dont like working here
why must i be here? IT BLOWS!

Mike Steve Blueberry
France's western comic book
Thank you, Moebius

First times it worked but
having lotta trouble now
with error message

Haiku
God bless you
That was not a sneeze
Well, God bless you anyway

Albert Gore, Jr
Democrats back Bill's VP
in Fall 2000

Why? Following 'ddress
Permanent fatal errors
janis@topix...

Fuck no, not again
Keep getting error message
And resubmitting

don't know how to write
five-seven-five, what is that?
poems in this form

Come November 4
The Republicans they dream
George W. Bush

Buy the magazine.
Buy it for the articles.
Fun with the pictures.

Come November 4
The Republicans they dream
George W. Bush

Flown from Miami

Hear Ben Kenobi
May the Force be with you, Luke
Beware the dark side

Bond haiku 'pears thrice?
Trouble with server (first time)
Deep apologies

Where to go when sad?
Ministry of Silly Walks
Monty Python heals

Small boy walks along
The river bank at sunset.
Oops, he just fell in.

Sean Connery 'tis
The greatest of the film Bonds
Double 0 Seven

Sean Connery 'tis
The greatest of the film Bonds
Double 0 Seven

Sean Connery 'tis
The greatest of the film Bonds
Double 0 Seven

Eminem is the
Only Slim Shady in the
In this F***n' world

Read this very loud
Scream very loud if you want
Screw the donkeys mom!

You know why you are
reading this stupid haiku
hump the dead moose's

The windshield wiper
back and forth and back again
in fruitless motion

Ya want this in news?
Haiku Headlines of the Day!
thefulldeck.com

I've got Monday off,
Hope you have a shit weekend.
C U N ext T uesday.

there are no bad cats
mine peruses his smelly stool
is it his or mine

A CHANCE TO LOVE YOU
IS ALL I ASK.THE WARMTH OF
YOUR TOUCH IS MY TASK.

This haiku poem
Has sixteen syllables
One syllable short.

This haiku poem
Has seventeen syllables
Quite meaningful, eh?

skip slip trip rip strip
fuck! bad luck upchuck i suck
quit? shit, spit and split

big cricket racket
crunch em up and chew em up
antaenne tickle

hand plunges in water
held up, eel writhes and shimmers
in first morning light

Said father to son,
Bring me money, bring me gold.
Catch me if you can.

fortress of logic
fell at my feet dust rose
then settled did i?

deep down and dirty
mingling with the rocks and roots
earth muffles my cry

rewarmed chinese food
does nothing for my cold heart
i'll try gasoline

sticky marmalade
haunts me with a tacky scent
wash my hands? never!

she smiled straight at me
radiant as summer sun
i floated like air

surfing blue hormones
why won't they leave me alone?
go find your own beach