get shaken and stirred
beware of complex bondage
whilst being rogered

Roger Moore may hide
inside the Kornflake box of
Konnery-but-Less

my boobs hurt... somewhere
it must be my period ~
Ghost of Hormone past [.]

Roger Moore made hide
inside the Kornflake box called:
Konnery-but-Less

Beware applying
phenomenological
approaches in God

Get back to the house
Let in by someone who should
Not be at home now

Wake up on a train
Why am I in Huddersfield?
I should be in Hull

new orleans ? yo, george !
as successful as iraq
but closer to home

lymphomania
some say it's a gland problem
when cancer fucks you

zero tolerance
three strikes and you are out Bush
shame shame shame end game

No, I'm not a heff-a-lump

Big ole heff-a-lump
Double bubble butt and chin.
Fatty fatty fuck.

Mina and Sunsi
The root of all that is wrong
With indoor plumbing

Bald-ass, hairless fuck.
Chemo lovin' motha fuck.
Cancer is a bitch

I eat library paste
My cat's breath smells like cat food
Ralph Wiggum is God

Second Wind Fitness
Can Suck My Tiny white Dick
Save money my ass!

Awoke with a bone
Makes my pee-pee spray crooked.
Life is such a Bitch!

She has to rewrite
Technology not her strength
Get the abacus

Damn that chick of mine
Forces me to Perkins now
Coffee and french fries

Oh Digital God
Binary Lover of all Men
Super Cyber Sex

a resurection
with no mary to wake me
bad haiku resumed

fuck you mcdonald's
salads dont come in a cup, damn
your dollar menu

superdome nightmare
woke up to man on my roof
high pressure cleaning

People that work in
Highway reststops hate clean teeth
They like spacious rot

think your job sucks, try
working at the New Orleans
Board of Tourism

hey ho uncle judd
it's no treat on bourbon street
mississippi blood

surprise ! shock and awe !
who thought you could offer more ?
george, get off the floor

wake up you dreamers
morning mr. president
it's time you were gone

down at the levee
moreso than ever before
subversive nature

Mississippi mud
is not a dessert this year
the gulf is just gone

drowning in tears
beloved new orleans
we not be jazzin'

"Horse Sense"


If it wasn't for
my horse, I wouldn't of spent
that year in college


-- thanks to comedian Lewis Black for the inspiration for this haiku

Concede consensus
Condescend cerulean
Cradled consciousness

"Etiolate"


He had a pale face
etiolated from years
in dank, dark pool halls

"Stogy"


Poker with the boys.
Smelling like a bad stogy
Broke, I hitchhike home.

"Incompetence"


Incompetence is
a level of Management
to which he aspires


-- inspired by Haiku #32577, by Bablets

tried to buy normal
waffle maker at Target,
Damn you, Belgiumites!

had to google "Girl"
to find out she's "sun-eyed", please
e-nun-c-8 Beck

"Call me Loretta,
call me what you will"..No? My
bad, Mr. Seger

incompetence is
a particular disease
that I suffer from

if I could type this
faster than the speed of light
I would but I can't

Honorifica-
bilitudinitati-
bus is a long word

like colourless green
time flies like a banana
furiously sleep

run fast they might *but*
thalidomide relay team
fluffs the baton pass

To the bank I go
To cash the cheques that I have
So that I'm not poor

I've been to Norway
Ravi and DJ Lov are
Rather terrible

Once there was a man
Who could run very quickly
But he had no arms

sore throat from yelling
why won't they listen to me
just invisible

shell of a human
behind a vacuous smile
an emptier brain