Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 46 Days and 77437 Haiku later...

Awoke with a bone
Makes my pee-pee spray crooked.
Life is such a Bitch!
Haiku # 32601, September 4, 2005 12:10 am ET
by Gaffa_girl
She has to rewrite
Technology not her strength
Get the abacus
Haiku # 32600, September 4, 2005 12:10 am ET
by Joe Sixpack, Sr
Damn that chick of mine
Forces me to Perkins now
Coffee and french fries
Haiku # 32599, September 4, 2005 12:08 am ET
by Bob, the other white meat
Oh Digital God
Binary Lover of all Men
Super Cyber Sex
Haiku # 32598, September 4, 2005 12:06 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
a resurection
with no mary to wake me
bad haiku resumed
Haiku # 32597, September 3, 2005 4:58 pm ET
by ap of US
fuck you mcdonald's
salads dont come in a cup, damn
your dollar menu
Haiku # 32596, September 3, 2005 2:51 pm ET
by =) of Anywhere Usa
superdome nightmare
woke up to man on my roof
high pressure cleaning
Haiku # 32595, September 3, 2005 1:12 am ET
by mellie
People that work in
Highway reststops hate clean teeth
They like spacious rot
Haiku # 32594, September 2, 2005 10:26 pm ET
by Kackarott of somewhere in in Wisconsin
Haiku # 32593, September 2, 2005 9:25 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
think your job sucks, try
working at the New Orleans
Board of Tourism
Haiku # 32592, September 2, 2005 12:18 pm ET
by onjaysun of frogtown
hey ho uncle judd
it's no treat on bourbon street
mississippi blood
Haiku # 32591, September 2, 2005 10:01 am ET
by ash
surprise ! shock and awe !
who thought you could offer more ?
george, get off the floor

Haiku # 32590, September 2, 2005 9:40 am ET
by ash
wake up you dreamers
morning mr. president
it's time you were gone
Haiku # 32589, September 2, 2005 9:23 am ET
by ash
down at the levee
moreso than ever before
subversive nature
Haiku # 32588, September 2, 2005 9:22 am ET
by ash
Mississippi mud
is not a dessert this year
the gulf is just gone

Haiku # 32587, September 2, 2005 7:44 am ET
by theunseenundine
drowning in tears
beloved new orleans
we not be jazzin'
Haiku # 32586, September 2, 2005 12:09 am ET
by mellie
"Horse Sense"


If it wasn't for
my horse, I wouldn't of spent
that year in college


-- thanks to comedian Lewis Black for the inspiration for this haiku
Haiku # 32585, September 1, 2005 3:27 pm ET
by Crimson Mind -- "Horse Sense" of Phoenix, AZ

Concede consensus
Condescend cerulean
Cradled consciousness
Haiku # 32584, September 1, 2005 3:23 pm ET
by Crimson Mind -- "Untitled" of Phoenix, AZ
"Etiolate"


He had a pale face
etiolated from years
in dank, dark pool halls
Haiku # 32583, September 1, 2005 3:17 pm ET
by Crimson Mind -- "Etiolate" of Phoenix, AZ
"Stogy"


Poker with the boys.
Smelling like a bad stogy
Broke, I hitchhike home.
Haiku # 32582, September 1, 2005 3:14 pm ET
by Crimson Mind -- "Stogy" of Phoenix, AZ
"Incompetence"


Incompetence is
a level of Management
to which he aspires


-- inspired by Haiku #32577, by Bablets
Haiku # 32581, September 1, 2005 3:10 pm ET
by Crimson Mind -- "Incompetence"
tried to buy normal
waffle maker at Target,
Damn you, Belgiumites!
Haiku # 32580, September 1, 2005 12:44 pm ET
by onjaysun of frogtown
had to google "Girl"
to find out she's "sun-eyed", please
e-nun-c-8 Beck
Haiku # 32579, September 1, 2005 12:32 pm ET
by onjaysun of frogtown
"Call me Loretta,
call me what you will"..No? My
bad, Mr. Seger
Haiku # 32578, September 1, 2005 12:28 pm ET
by onjaysun of frogtown
incompetence is
a particular disease
that I suffer from
Haiku # 32577, August 31, 2005 2:51 pm ET
by Bablets
if I could type this
faster than the speed of light
I would but I can't
Haiku # 32576, August 31, 2005 2:49 pm ET
by Bablets of Fursville
Honorifica-
bilitudinitati-
bus is a long word
Haiku # 32575, August 31, 2005 2:45 pm ET
by Mort of Paris
like colourless green
time flies like a banana
furiously sleep
Haiku # 32574, August 31, 2005 2:35 pm ET
by Mort of Paris
run fast they might *but*
thalidomide relay team
fluffs the baton pass
Haiku # 32573, August 31, 2005 10:58 am ET
by ash
To the bank I go
To cash the cheques that I have
So that I'm not poor
Haiku # 32572, August 31, 2005 9:56 am ET
by A Student of Beards
I've been to Norway
Ravi and DJ Lov are
Rather terrible
Haiku # 32571, August 31, 2005 7:11 am ET
by A Student of Although a more humorous and less unpleasant number 1 than that frog
Once there was a man
Who could run very quickly
But he had no arms
Haiku # 32570, August 31, 2005 7:06 am ET
by A Student of Jive
sore throat from yelling
why won't they listen to me
just invisible
Haiku # 32569, August 30, 2005 11:58 am ET
by theunseenundine
shell of a human
behind a vacuous smile
an emptier brain
Haiku # 32568, August 30, 2005 9:15 am ET
by ash
Mini camera
in my cell phone lets me take
surreptitious pix.
Haiku # 32567, August 30, 2005 9:01 am ET
by TheUnseenUndine
Don't you be fooled now,
This one's just got a bad case
Of the lookie-there's.
Haiku # 32566, August 30, 2005 5:05 am ET
by Liza Lot of Ohio
A generation
Meeting in the dark places
Speaking in hushed tones.
Haiku # 32565, August 30, 2005 5:05 am ET
by Liza Lot of Ohio
Lo! Idealism,
Scourge of a voracious youth.
"Handsome, empty youth."
Haiku # 32564, August 30, 2005 5:05 am ET
by Liza Lot of Ohio
Methamphetamines:
American like it's a'
Goin' out of style.
Haiku # 32563, August 30, 2005 5:04 am ET
by Liza Lot of Ohio
it's out of its tree
from an anarchic circle
the bipolar bear
Haiku # 32562, August 30, 2005 3:25 am ET
by ash
Whys Tommy Lee hot?
What do women see in him?
Fame? Cash? Tats? Tripod?
Haiku # 32561, August 29, 2005 2:50 pm ET
by Crimson Mind -- Whats Tommy Got That I Dont?
Pablo Picasso
An iconoclastic artist
Challenged arts ideals
Haiku # 32560, August 29, 2005 2:47 pm ET
by Crimson Mind -- Iconoclast
Like fine wine, some things
get better with age, but I
age more like fine milk
Haiku # 32559, August 29, 2005 2:45 pm ET
by Crimson Mind -- Aging
I said "Some women
find me attractive." She said,
"Those women are drunk!"


Alternate version


I said "Some women
find me attractive." She said,
"Honey, they're all drunk!"
Haiku # 32558, August 29, 2005 2:41 pm ET
by Crimson Mind -- Attractive
I wish I were rich
I wish I were good looking
I wish I had hair
I wish I liked myself too
I wish these wishes come true



-- inspired by the Pearl Jam song, "Wish List"
Haiku # 32557, August 29, 2005 2:35 pm ET
by Crimson Mind -- Wish List (a Tanka)
Men, like bank accounts
Don't generate much interest
If they have no cash
Haiku # 32556, August 29, 2005 2:32 pm ET
by Crimson Mind -- A woman once told me...
Katrina, that b*tch,
only drinks Bourbon St. and
water, never tips
Haiku # 32555, August 29, 2005 11:41 am ET
by onjaysun of frogtown
Political hacks
cover their tracks, obscuring
facts and changing tacks.
Haiku # 32554, August 28, 2005 7:58 pm ET
by TheUnseenUndine
sad about your nose
to paraphrase joe cocker
blow me a river
Haiku # 32553, August 27, 2005 10:29 pm ET
by ash
I just sneezed again.
Where's my antihistamines?
I need a new nose.
Haiku # 32552, August 27, 2005 9:36 am ET
by TheUnseenUndine
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