Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 48 Days and 77439 Haiku later...

Whys Tommy Lee hot?
What do women see in him?
Fame? Cash? Tats? Tripod?
Haiku # 32561, August 29, 2005 2:50 pm ET
by Crimson Mind -- Whats Tommy Got That I Dont?
Pablo Picasso
An iconoclastic artist
Challenged arts ideals
Haiku # 32560, August 29, 2005 2:47 pm ET
by Crimson Mind -- Iconoclast
Like fine wine, some things
get better with age, but I
age more like fine milk
Haiku # 32559, August 29, 2005 2:45 pm ET
by Crimson Mind -- Aging
I said "Some women
find me attractive." She said,
"Those women are drunk!"


Alternate version


I said "Some women
find me attractive." She said,
"Honey, they're all drunk!"
Haiku # 32558, August 29, 2005 2:41 pm ET
by Crimson Mind -- Attractive
I wish I were rich
I wish I were good looking
I wish I had hair
I wish I liked myself too
I wish these wishes come true



-- inspired by the Pearl Jam song, "Wish List"
Haiku # 32557, August 29, 2005 2:35 pm ET
by Crimson Mind -- Wish List (a Tanka)
Men, like bank accounts
Don't generate much interest
If they have no cash
Haiku # 32556, August 29, 2005 2:32 pm ET
by Crimson Mind -- A woman once told me...
Katrina, that b*tch,
only drinks Bourbon St. and
water, never tips
Haiku # 32555, August 29, 2005 11:41 am ET
by onjaysun of frogtown
Political hacks
cover their tracks, obscuring
facts and changing tacks.
Haiku # 32554, August 28, 2005 7:58 pm ET
by TheUnseenUndine
sad about your nose
to paraphrase joe cocker
blow me a river
Haiku # 32553, August 27, 2005 10:29 pm ET
by ash
I just sneezed again.
Where's my antihistamines?
I need a new nose.
Haiku # 32552, August 27, 2005 9:36 am ET
by TheUnseenUndine
No green hat or tie
no little BooBoo, whadda
bear disappointment
Haiku # 32551, August 26, 2005 12:07 pm ET
by onjaysun of frogtown
First, wild turkeys, now
a black bear runs in front of
my car, NATURE ROCKS!
Haiku # 32550, August 26, 2005 11:17 am ET
by onjaysun of frogtown
Pie pie pie pie pie
Pie pie pie pie pie pie pie
I like to think pie
Haiku # 32549, August 26, 2005 10:47 am ET
by A Student of Pie
I like leprosy
It can lead to peoples' arms
And legs falling off
Haiku # 32548, August 26, 2005 10:46 am ET
by A Student of Socks
an eight inch year
taller than a hobbit now
birthday girl ruby
Haiku # 32547, August 26, 2005 6:06 am ET
by mellie
four years three feet eight
patty cakes yellow and green
with lots of sprinkles
Haiku # 32546, August 26, 2005 6:03 am ET
by mellie
i have my limits
i would give my life for you
but not my lifetime
Haiku # 32545, August 26, 2005 5:11 am ET
by ash
It's slowly sucking
and not at a pleasant pace
leaving red circles
Haiku # 32544, August 26, 2005 1:18 am ET
by Betty LeBomb
Iffn' don't have a
grin leevin' 2 Score Vergin
y'all ain't hooked up rite!
Haiku # 32543, August 25, 2005 12:13 pm ET
by onjaysun of frogtown
Oh, Los Angeles
I'm lost on the blurry path
inhaling the smog
Haiku # 32542, August 24, 2005 6:18 pm ET
by Betty LeBomb
She offered coffee
she offered tea but all I
wanted was the "me"
Haiku # 32541, August 24, 2005 12:17 pm ET
by onjaysun of frogtown
Was going to pen
"An ode to the TTC"
Decided against
Haiku # 32540, August 24, 2005 11:58 am ET
by Janis
crosby stills and nash
hey hey my my Neil Young
I just get shaky
Haiku # 32539, August 24, 2005 8:43 am ET
by mellie
A black rose, weeping
Decaying in solitude
Unwanted, unloved
Haiku # 32538, August 24, 2005 5:13 am ET
by A Student of Legs
bring back the talent
i know the title says bad
but perhaps less bad
Haiku # 32537, August 24, 2005 3:04 am ET
by ash
Crosby, Stills, Nash, Young
"Suite: Judy Blue Eyes"; press play.
Repeat as needed.
Haiku # 32536, August 24, 2005 2:50 am ET
by Liza Lot of Ohio
you are all mean here
but maybe you are hot chicks
i will speak slowly
Haiku # 32535, August 24, 2005 2:44 am ET
by junktown
Superfluous strokes
Of shitty laptop keyboard
Render naught but crap
Haiku # 32534, August 23, 2005 10:47 pm ET
by Maestro of Manhattan
Booking Thursday's flight
Booker T and the MGs
Umm ... Book 'em Danno!
Haiku # 32533, August 23, 2005 10:43 pm ET
by Maestro of Manhattan
New Today's Spongebob
Squarepants sponge...worst marketing
idea like ever
Haiku # 32532, August 23, 2005 3:07 pm ET
by onjaysun of frogtown
"Friendster Gets The Freeze"
The Wall Street Journal tells me
That is so '03.
Haiku # 32531, August 23, 2005 3:03 pm ET
by Liza Lot of Ohio
Scorched by ammonia
While cooking some crystal meth
Profit exceeds loss
Haiku # 32530, August 23, 2005 1:17 am ET
by Maestro of Manhattan
my brain's a crouton
floating in a soup of thoughts
seasoned with reasons
Haiku # 32529, August 23, 2005 1:16 am ET
by ash
Braided my ass hair
Then I sprayed on some back hair
Ever so pretty
Haiku # 32528, August 23, 2005 1:14 am ET
by Maestro of Manhattan
A package arrived
It is not addressed to me
Possession's nine tenths
Haiku # 32527, August 22, 2005 4:06 pm ET
by TheUnseenUndine
Dashboard Hula digs
Bobble Barry Gibb til I
tell her it's Jesus
Haiku # 32526, August 22, 2005 3:17 pm ET
by onjaysun of frogtown
I'd like genetic
Modification more if
They made booby trees
Haiku # 32525, August 22, 2005 11:34 am ET
by A Student of Natural breast enhancements
Where do my pens go?
Maybe Roger Moore steals them
And colours in hats
Haiku # 32524, August 22, 2005 9:45 am ET
by A Student of Trying to bloody revise
Where is Roger Moore?
I'm sure I put him behind
The box of cornflakes
Haiku # 32523, August 22, 2005 9:15 am ET
by A Student of Bond movies
Prostate expanding
Vas deferens constricting
How complex, pissing?
Haiku # 32522, August 21, 2005 10:52 pm ET
by Maestro of Manhattan
Bodies are burning
Along the Strip of Gaza
Damn property rights
Haiku # 32521, August 21, 2005 10:46 pm ET
by Maestro of Manhattan
I am but human
My balls itch and I'm hungry
Scratch me n' feed me!
Haiku # 32520, August 21, 2005 10:45 pm ET
by Maestro of Manhattan
Bored as in Hell by
Pseudo-Intellectuals
Occupying space
Haiku # 32519, August 21, 2005 10:43 pm ET
by Maestro of Manhattan
Surround sound applause
For timely self-correction
Kudos, Liza Lot
Haiku # 32518, August 21, 2005 10:40 pm ET
by Maestro of Manhattan
The same principle
Applies to spelling errors
But minus the box.
Haiku # 32517, August 21, 2005 3:42 pm ET
by Liza Lot of Ohio
Warning: Playing God
Recquires a cardboard box
[Not for the sqeamish.]
Haiku # 32516, August 21, 2005 3:38 pm ET
by Liza Lot of Ohio
Once apon a time
There was a man who had AIDS
People laughed at him
Haiku # 32515, August 21, 2005 8:52 am ET
by A Student of Medical Sciences
Necrophilia
Fun for the whole family
Tim Burton's Corpse Bride
Haiku # 32514, August 20, 2005 7:44 pm ET
by Maestro of Manhattan
terminate program
grandma has a cock-up now
a runtime error
Haiku # 32513, August 20, 2005 1:29 pm ET
by mellie
I wish I had legs
So that I could run around
And kick stuff about
Haiku # 32512, August 20, 2005 12:03 pm ET
by A Student of Having no legs
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