Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 48 Days and 77439 Haiku later...

Where do my pens go?
Maybe Roger Moore steals them
And colours in hats
Haiku # 32524, August 22, 2005 9:45 am ET
by A Student of Trying to bloody revise
Where is Roger Moore?
I'm sure I put him behind
The box of cornflakes
Haiku # 32523, August 22, 2005 9:15 am ET
by A Student of Bond movies
Prostate expanding
Vas deferens constricting
How complex, pissing?
Haiku # 32522, August 21, 2005 10:52 pm ET
by Maestro of Manhattan
Bodies are burning
Along the Strip of Gaza
Damn property rights
Haiku # 32521, August 21, 2005 10:46 pm ET
by Maestro of Manhattan
I am but human
My balls itch and I'm hungry
Scratch me n' feed me!
Haiku # 32520, August 21, 2005 10:45 pm ET
by Maestro of Manhattan
Bored as in Hell by
Pseudo-Intellectuals
Occupying space
Haiku # 32519, August 21, 2005 10:43 pm ET
by Maestro of Manhattan
Surround sound applause
For timely self-correction
Kudos, Liza Lot
Haiku # 32518, August 21, 2005 10:40 pm ET
by Maestro of Manhattan
The same principle
Applies to spelling errors
But minus the box.
Haiku # 32517, August 21, 2005 3:42 pm ET
by Liza Lot of Ohio
Warning: Playing God
Recquires a cardboard box
[Not for the sqeamish.]
Haiku # 32516, August 21, 2005 3:38 pm ET
by Liza Lot of Ohio
Once apon a time
There was a man who had AIDS
People laughed at him
Haiku # 32515, August 21, 2005 8:52 am ET
by A Student of Medical Sciences
Necrophilia
Fun for the whole family
Tim Burton's Corpse Bride
Haiku # 32514, August 20, 2005 7:44 pm ET
by Maestro of Manhattan
terminate program
grandma has a cock-up now
a runtime error
Haiku # 32513, August 20, 2005 1:29 pm ET
by mellie
I wish I had legs
So that I could run around
And kick stuff about
Haiku # 32512, August 20, 2005 12:03 pm ET
by A Student of Having no legs
Patents are pending
Poopie flavored lollipop
Investors welcome
Haiku # 32511, August 19, 2005 9:36 pm ET
by Maestro of Manhattan
No parameters
No topic is too profane
Notoriety
Haiku # 32510, August 19, 2005 9:33 pm ET
by Maestro of Manhattan
Midnight ritual
Slain sheep and infants alike
Morbid sacrifice
Haiku # 32509, August 19, 2005 9:31 pm ET
by Maestro of Manhattan
Seedy side of town
Slumming with celebrity
Who is that chica?
Haiku # 32508, August 19, 2005 5:37 pm ET
by TheUnseenUndine
small dog, big ears takes
off ala Flying Nun, does
a mean Sybil too.
Haiku # 32507, August 19, 2005 3:03 pm ET
by onjaysun of frogtown (go Bosco go!)
Wealthy gadabout
Douches with vintage Cristal
Sparkling labia
Haiku # 32506, August 19, 2005 3:02 pm ET
by Maestro of Manhattan
Delusions of snakes
Pet mongoose sporting a leash
His name is Clarence
Haiku # 32505, August 19, 2005 2:58 pm ET
by Maestro of Manhattan
New urban carnage
Machete brandishing teens
What's become of guns?
Haiku # 32504, August 19, 2005 2:56 pm ET
by Maestro of Manhattan
Our operators
are now standing by because
we don't give them chairs.
Haiku # 32503, August 19, 2005 6:52 am ET
by TheUnseenUndine
The deli counter
was out of bologna, so
I just got some ham.
Haiku # 32502, August 19, 2005 6:52 am ET
by TheUnseenUndine
our new phone book has
bail bondsman ad on cover
that'll save me time
Haiku # 32501, August 18, 2005 5:16 pm ET
by onjaysun of frogtown
Temp tattoos are cool
Just put on skin, add water
Instant body art.
Haiku # 32500, August 18, 2005 11:08 am ET
by TheUnseenUndine
everyone wants me
i wish they'd all just fuck off
and leave me alone
Haiku # 32499, August 18, 2005 9:15 am ET
by ash
burning with desire
but the fireman jilted her
she was so put out
Haiku # 32498, August 18, 2005 9:13 am ET
by ash
Beantown for a week
There are no black people here
'Cept for the students
Haiku # 32497, August 17, 2005 2:43 pm ET
by Maestro of Boston
Father's mother owns
Poultry farms in Ithaca
Grandma has a cock
Haiku # 32496, August 17, 2005 2:39 pm ET
by Maestro of Manhattan
put on a new shirt
today...damn like dashiki
long! Fight the Power
Haiku # 32495, August 17, 2005 12:33 pm ET
by onjaysun of frogtown
Bare white office walls
Grey phone squawks without stopping
A bird sings - not here
Haiku # 32494, August 17, 2005 10:33 am ET
by geekengineer of Sandy Eggo
On the moon, we are
far too advanced to use your
primitive Earth verse
Haiku # 32493, August 16, 2005 3:16 pm ET
by Betty Lebomb
They like seem to get
bigger every day, yet I'm
the boob for lookin'
Haiku # 32492, August 16, 2005 3:14 pm ET
by onjaysun (look at her eyes!) of frogtown
Dang! These haikus suck!
Who would waste their time with these?
...I think I'll write one.
Haiku # 32491, August 16, 2005 2:34 pm ET
by xris
my quiet little
kennedy forbidden fruit
i can not have you.
Haiku # 32490, August 16, 2005 7:40 am ET
by florintino ariza of 43431
I cannot believe
how much time can be wasted
ticks upon the clock
Haiku # 32489, August 16, 2005 3:02 am ET
by Betty Lebomb
Age is a number
that ticks away the winters
waves on a shoreline
Haiku # 32488, August 16, 2005 3:01 am ET
by Betty Lebomb
I jammed all night long
72 shots bourbon
wiener dogs zero
Haiku # 32487, August 16, 2005 2:59 am ET
by Betty Lebomb
Safely tucked in bed
big bad wolf in the closet
grandma has a cock
Haiku # 32486, August 16, 2005 2:58 am ET
by Betty Lebomb
Oh, the liquor feast
brings upon the morning wood
grandma has a cock
Haiku # 32485, August 16, 2005 2:57 am ET
by Betty Lebomb
Drunken congo line
with stiff bump in the back-side
grandma has a cock
Haiku # 32484, August 16, 2005 2:45 am ET
by Betty Lebomb
Brand new recipe
Lightly sauteed testicles
Mmm, mmm. A sack lunch
Haiku # 32483, August 15, 2005 5:26 pm ET
by Maestro of Manhattan
Mr. and Mrs.
Pez Dispenser, you've gotta
support baby's head
Haiku # 32482, August 15, 2005 3:10 pm ET
by onjaysun R.N. of frogtown
steven malkmus highs
just to get motion from feet.
just cant deliver
Haiku # 32481, August 15, 2005 2:35 pm ET
by florintino ariza of 43431
happy birthday mel
yet we be jammin' long time
grandma has a cock
Haiku # 32480, August 15, 2005 9:37 am ET
by ash
was on the wagon
till the sun set in the west
then I dismounted
Haiku # 32479, August 15, 2005 3:42 am ET
by mellie
whisky soaked raisins
tossed into the birthday cake
my mother made it
Haiku # 32478, August 15, 2005 3:38 am ET
by mellie
fifty six years old
I was so much younger then
the day before that
Haiku # 32477, August 15, 2005 3:36 am ET
by mellie
Such a scorching day
it's not the weather outside
it's a bitch house mate
Haiku # 32476, August 14, 2005 9:55 pm ET
by Betty Lebomb
Huffing gasoline
Plotting array of arsons
Happily, inert
Haiku # 32475, August 14, 2005 5:01 pm ET
by Maestro of Manhattan
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