Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 46 Days and 77437 Haiku later...

Damn that chick of mine
Forces me to Perkins now
Coffee and french fries
Haiku # 32599, September 4, 2005 12:08 am ET
by Bob, the other white meat
Oh Digital God
Binary Lover of all Men
Super Cyber Sex
Haiku # 32598, September 4, 2005 12:06 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
a resurection
with no mary to wake me
bad haiku resumed
Haiku # 32597, September 3, 2005 4:58 pm ET
by ap of US
fuck you mcdonald's
salads dont come in a cup, damn
your dollar menu
Haiku # 32596, September 3, 2005 2:51 pm ET
by =) of Anywhere Usa
superdome nightmare
woke up to man on my roof
high pressure cleaning
Haiku # 32595, September 3, 2005 1:12 am ET
by mellie
People that work in
Highway reststops hate clean teeth
They like spacious rot
Haiku # 32594, September 2, 2005 10:26 pm ET
by Kackarott of somewhere in in Wisconsin
Haiku # 32593, September 2, 2005 9:25 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
think your job sucks, try
working at the New Orleans
Board of Tourism
Haiku # 32592, September 2, 2005 12:18 pm ET
by onjaysun of frogtown
hey ho uncle judd
it's no treat on bourbon street
mississippi blood
Haiku # 32591, September 2, 2005 10:01 am ET
by ash
surprise ! shock and awe !
who thought you could offer more ?
george, get off the floor

Haiku # 32590, September 2, 2005 9:40 am ET
by ash
wake up you dreamers
morning mr. president
it's time you were gone
Haiku # 32589, September 2, 2005 9:23 am ET
by ash
down at the levee
moreso than ever before
subversive nature
Haiku # 32588, September 2, 2005 9:22 am ET
by ash
Mississippi mud
is not a dessert this year
the gulf is just gone

Haiku # 32587, September 2, 2005 7:44 am ET
by theunseenundine
drowning in tears
beloved new orleans
we not be jazzin'
Haiku # 32586, September 2, 2005 12:09 am ET
by mellie
"Horse Sense"


If it wasn't for
my horse, I wouldn't of spent
that year in college


-- thanks to comedian Lewis Black for the inspiration for this haiku
Haiku # 32585, September 1, 2005 3:27 pm ET
by Crimson Mind -- "Horse Sense" of Phoenix, AZ

Concede consensus
Condescend cerulean
Cradled consciousness
Haiku # 32584, September 1, 2005 3:23 pm ET
by Crimson Mind -- "Untitled" of Phoenix, AZ
"Etiolate"


He had a pale face
etiolated from years
in dank, dark pool halls
Haiku # 32583, September 1, 2005 3:17 pm ET
by Crimson Mind -- "Etiolate" of Phoenix, AZ
"Stogy"


Poker with the boys.
Smelling like a bad stogy
Broke, I hitchhike home.
Haiku # 32582, September 1, 2005 3:14 pm ET
by Crimson Mind -- "Stogy" of Phoenix, AZ
"Incompetence"


Incompetence is
a level of Management
to which he aspires


-- inspired by Haiku #32577, by Bablets
Haiku # 32581, September 1, 2005 3:10 pm ET
by Crimson Mind -- "Incompetence"
tried to buy normal
waffle maker at Target,
Damn you, Belgiumites!
Haiku # 32580, September 1, 2005 12:44 pm ET
by onjaysun of frogtown
had to google "Girl"
to find out she's "sun-eyed", please
e-nun-c-8 Beck
Haiku # 32579, September 1, 2005 12:32 pm ET
by onjaysun of frogtown
"Call me Loretta,
call me what you will"..No? My
bad, Mr. Seger
Haiku # 32578, September 1, 2005 12:28 pm ET
by onjaysun of frogtown
incompetence is
a particular disease
that I suffer from
Haiku # 32577, August 31, 2005 2:51 pm ET
by Bablets
if I could type this
faster than the speed of light
I would but I can't
Haiku # 32576, August 31, 2005 2:49 pm ET
by Bablets of Fursville
Honorifica-
bilitudinitati-
bus is a long word
Haiku # 32575, August 31, 2005 2:45 pm ET
by Mort of Paris
like colourless green
time flies like a banana
furiously sleep
Haiku # 32574, August 31, 2005 2:35 pm ET
by Mort of Paris
run fast they might *but*
thalidomide relay team
fluffs the baton pass
Haiku # 32573, August 31, 2005 10:58 am ET
by ash
To the bank I go
To cash the cheques that I have
So that I'm not poor
Haiku # 32572, August 31, 2005 9:56 am ET
by A Student of Beards
I've been to Norway
Ravi and DJ Lov are
Rather terrible
Haiku # 32571, August 31, 2005 7:11 am ET
by A Student of Although a more humorous and less unpleasant number 1 than that frog
Once there was a man
Who could run very quickly
But he had no arms
Haiku # 32570, August 31, 2005 7:06 am ET
by A Student of Jive
sore throat from yelling
why won't they listen to me
just invisible
Haiku # 32569, August 30, 2005 11:58 am ET
by theunseenundine
shell of a human
behind a vacuous smile
an emptier brain
Haiku # 32568, August 30, 2005 9:15 am ET
by ash
Mini camera
in my cell phone lets me take
surreptitious pix.
Haiku # 32567, August 30, 2005 9:01 am ET
by TheUnseenUndine
Don't you be fooled now,
This one's just got a bad case
Of the lookie-there's.
Haiku # 32566, August 30, 2005 5:05 am ET
by Liza Lot of Ohio
A generation
Meeting in the dark places
Speaking in hushed tones.
Haiku # 32565, August 30, 2005 5:05 am ET
by Liza Lot of Ohio
Lo! Idealism,
Scourge of a voracious youth.
"Handsome, empty youth."
Haiku # 32564, August 30, 2005 5:05 am ET
by Liza Lot of Ohio
Methamphetamines:
American like it's a'
Goin' out of style.
Haiku # 32563, August 30, 2005 5:04 am ET
by Liza Lot of Ohio
it's out of its tree
from an anarchic circle
the bipolar bear
Haiku # 32562, August 30, 2005 3:25 am ET
by ash
Whys Tommy Lee hot?
What do women see in him?
Fame? Cash? Tats? Tripod?
Haiku # 32561, August 29, 2005 2:50 pm ET
by Crimson Mind -- Whats Tommy Got That I Dont?
Pablo Picasso
An iconoclastic artist
Challenged arts ideals
Haiku # 32560, August 29, 2005 2:47 pm ET
by Crimson Mind -- Iconoclast
Like fine wine, some things
get better with age, but I
age more like fine milk
Haiku # 32559, August 29, 2005 2:45 pm ET
by Crimson Mind -- Aging
I said "Some women
find me attractive." She said,
"Those women are drunk!"


Alternate version


I said "Some women
find me attractive." She said,
"Honey, they're all drunk!"
Haiku # 32558, August 29, 2005 2:41 pm ET
by Crimson Mind -- Attractive
I wish I were rich
I wish I were good looking
I wish I had hair
I wish I liked myself too
I wish these wishes come true



-- inspired by the Pearl Jam song, "Wish List"
Haiku # 32557, August 29, 2005 2:35 pm ET
by Crimson Mind -- Wish List (a Tanka)
Men, like bank accounts
Don't generate much interest
If they have no cash
Haiku # 32556, August 29, 2005 2:32 pm ET
by Crimson Mind -- A woman once told me...
Katrina, that b*tch,
only drinks Bourbon St. and
water, never tips
Haiku # 32555, August 29, 2005 11:41 am ET
by onjaysun of frogtown
Political hacks
cover their tracks, obscuring
facts and changing tacks.
Haiku # 32554, August 28, 2005 7:58 pm ET
by TheUnseenUndine
sad about your nose
to paraphrase joe cocker
blow me a river
Haiku # 32553, August 27, 2005 10:29 pm ET
by ash
I just sneezed again.
Where's my antihistamines?
I need a new nose.
Haiku # 32552, August 27, 2005 9:36 am ET
by TheUnseenUndine
No green hat or tie
no little BooBoo, whadda
bear disappointment
Haiku # 32551, August 26, 2005 12:07 pm ET
by onjaysun of frogtown
First, wild turkeys, now
a black bear runs in front of
my car, NATURE ROCKS!
Haiku # 32550, August 26, 2005 11:17 am ET
by onjaysun of frogtown
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