Terrorist alert
is slowly rising higher
bringing out the worst

A plug for a friend
crazydeathmonkey dot com
his videos rule

My new t-shirt says:
Pharmacology Doth Rule!
Screw the FDA

Tilt head in prayer
lift the bottle way, way up
towards my god's sky

Wish there was a search
can't seem to find the haiku
that I am missing

Found you on the bed
barely making any noise
bound up and ball-gagged

True addictions come
back so effortlessly, rust
falls away quickly

Tilt head in prayer
lift the bottle way, way up
towards the night sky

you can chew on this
don't swallow all that i say
there's often a gag

i mean what i write
ambiguous by intent
so analyse that

i want to go home,
but for now i will just cry:
'why oh why oh why.'

Blakean excess
En route to wisdom's palace.
Dash legislation!

If by take 'em down
You mean ingest with pleasure
I exclaim, "Hurrah!"

pharmaceuticals
when it comes to us or them
time to take 'em down

Oh, hyperbole!
So often misunderstood.
Seek analysis.

perhaps not too good
but that's the trouble with drugs
you can't count on them

paradox of drugs
they can make you feel right bad
even when they're good good

partly crumpled mime
gesticulating wildly
as the truck backs up

A ten pound rufee
has fallen into my brain
and bruised my haiku

Screw the FDA
Pharmacology doth rule
Hooray for all drugs

this grandmother is
her mother's little helper
I should be on drugs

if your back is sore
see a physio
right pain in the neck

sore neck and headache
some physiotherapy
and now my back hurts

my cat is on drugs
freaked out by a three year old
the hunter hunted

Oh, my fair Portland
finally your skies are blue, but
but your sun is red

Hot on the inside,
says my friend from Thailand, means
cool on the outside

My cat is sweating
one little tiny droplet
on his furless nose

Ninety-five degrees
I demand insulation
imediately

ah, letter got lost
I could scream and scream and scream
now under control

podiatrists dream
don't want to hurt you really
trying not to sceam

as day follows night
after not quite enough sleep
not enough awake

sexual tension
if you build it, they will come
a field of wet dreams

i love fingernails
i adore a quick nibble
oh! so cuticle

She is a shemale?!?
With those gigantic tit bombs
I would shift her stick

Cops pull me over
"Sorry doesn't cut it pal!"
But drunk charm does, hee.

Insolent Tivo
You are o so hackable
Yet you're still broken

that there is no spoon
neo learned eventually
fucking idiot

Sunday morn' malaise
Mourning my lazy son, Dee
Lame-ass poetry

Crazy crazy night...
blackout--now there's a human
head in the hamper

It's hot and humid
shiny, puffy, and greazy
a purple tumor

Sliding rapidly
Down a banister of H
Morpheus descends

Stimulants abound
Perspiration saturates
Do you hear those snakes?

Back is tightening
with stressful office yoga
it pulls me backwards

Did coke for first time
SUPERMANXRAYVISION!
...still sex runs from me...

while fucking on drugs
i found myself in mid-thrust
thinking about stars

my blue-eyed boss yelled
the director of sales stared
calmly i zipped up

grueling, thirsty work
sweating in a cloud of bugs
cupping my nutsack

a stress ball is squeezed,
minutes are an eternity;
life's not meant for this.

bad melon bleeds toxic;
the noxious fumes spewing forth
can down an elephant.

Gonna get some beer
a nice bitter IPA
no twist-offs tonight