Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 47 Days and 77437 Haiku later...

Better men have failed
In their efforts to teach me
How to do that thing.
Haiku # 2256, October 13, 1999 9:50 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
I part my slicked lips,
primed for your red, juicy treat.
Oh, sweet lollipop.
Haiku # 2255, October 13, 1999 9:39 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
Lower down the hill,
Where the hard-faced women live,
`Slike a Mike Leigh film.
Haiku # 2254, October 13, 1999 9:32 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
Bowed head of a child
Crouched in the dirt, playing god:
Sticks versus pine cones.
(Pine cones won)
Haiku # 2253, October 13, 1999 9:22 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
Sunlight plays on stone.
Red leaves spiral through the gates.
A dog licks its balls.
Haiku # 2252, October 13, 1999 9:17 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
Spasming neon
Interrupts my reverie
With its spasming
Haiku # 2251, October 12, 1999 10:38 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Come cut this tether
Let me gambol in the fields
With the other boys
Haiku # 2250, October 12, 1999 10:25 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Distant jet aircraft
Pulling your trail of vapour
Like a string of snot
Haiku # 2249, October 12, 1999 10:10 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Small flying creature
Do you like that window or
Are you just stupid?
Haiku # 2248, October 12, 1999 10:01 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
I suck on the teeth of ancients.
Oh dead crusty ancestors
Your stench is unremarkable
Haiku # 2247, October 12, 1999 6:56 am ET
by Davey Danger
Sinning Mutants!
I fall over your rotting brains.
Why must you laugh?
Haiku # 2246, October 12, 1999 6:53 am ET
by Davey Danger
Dogs bark at night
Their hell-bound cries
Are like the baying of orange wolves
Haiku # 2245, October 12, 1999 6:51 am ET
by Monkfish of Englandland
why the fuck
is everyone''s haiku
all blurred over
Haiku # 2244, October 11, 1999 6:43 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
despite understanding
pre-school lice infestation
left scratching my head
Haiku # 2243, October 11, 1999 5:56 pm ET
by ash
server disconnects
a telstra conspiracy
go on, ring again......
Haiku # 2242, October 11, 1999 5:46 pm ET
by ash
Steaming perspirants.
Colossal twats colliding.
I hate ice hockey.
Haiku # 2241, October 11, 1999 6:23 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
Searching for the sun
Leaves look to the ground for warmth
Nature defeats us
Haiku # 2240, October 10, 1999 11:28 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Ah sweet Jennifer
The best way to arch your back
Is to get lockjaw
Haiku # 2239, October 10, 1999 11:25 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
That`s Haiku for you
Seventeen syllables and
There`s no looking back
Haiku # 2238, October 10, 1999 11:22 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
I look for lovers
that know what it takes for me
arch my back up high.
Haiku # 2237, October 10, 1999 9:03 am ET
by Jennifer
See the hostile youth.
What has become of their lives?
They''re haiku junkies.
Haiku # 2236, October 10, 1999 9:02 am ET
by Tony's Grandpa
KENNETH EXTENSION
LEFT YOUR brain ON THE RED BUS
GET A LIFE TWEAKER
Haiku # 2235, October 9, 1999 9:55 pm ET
by THE ROCK
i went to cancun
and i went to donate blood
i can''t. what the hell.
Haiku # 2234, October 9, 1999 1:27 pm ET
by Adrienne
library lady
armed with her red laser pen
somebody save me
Haiku # 2233, October 9, 1999 1:18 pm ET
by Adrienne
it''s easy to do
abusing the bad haiku
at first when you''re new
Haiku # 2232, October 9, 1999 11:34 am ET
by oldnasty
If you are gonna
burn smoke in your lungs you might
as well smoke a joint
Haiku # 2231, October 9, 1999 7:20 am ET
by Tony's Grandpa
again and again
you can read those lines and then
shake your head at ken
Haiku # 2230, October 9, 1999 5:10 am ET
by ash
boogers and bandaids
chlorine struggling to defeat
faecal coliforms
Haiku # 2229, October 9, 1999 3:44 am ET
by ash
never be sorry
for cocaine cuz it''s so pure
NOW i look pretty
Haiku # 2228, October 8, 1999 4:51 pm ET
by permanent kurl
scalloped, baked, french fried
potato career choices
hash browns, tater tots
Haiku # 2227, October 8, 1999 1:48 pm ET
by oldnasty
hi! my name is Ken
i no longer bug my friends
because I have none
Haiku # 2226, October 8, 1999 1:32 pm ET
by oldnasty
you''re flattering me?
you masturbate to my bod?
wet. open. alone.
Haiku # 2225, October 7, 1999 5:40 pm ET
by kurl
i wait for your call
with my ass on the shower
stream. come in to me.
Haiku # 2224, October 7, 1999 5:38 pm ET
by kurl
for you cannot steal
my memory then jack off.
We can do better
Haiku # 2223, October 7, 1999 5:36 pm ET
by kurl
complete the cycle
fantasize. and then. you fuck
i insist we fuck
Haiku # 2222, October 7, 1999 5:35 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Damn......I guess I want
to really know the answer
to that last question!
Haiku # 2221, October 7, 1999 5:09 pm ET
by SHAGGYDOO
i sniff the future
predictable allergens
like nostril dharma
Haiku # 2220, October 7, 1999 5:06 pm ET
by ash
Do you think they eat
Chicken meat, or do they eat
Turkey in Turkey?
Haiku # 2219, October 7, 1999 5:02 pm ET
by SHAGGYDOO
Do you think they eat
Chicken meat, or do they eat
Turkey in Turkey?
Haiku # 2218, October 7, 1999 4:53 pm ET
by SHAGGYDOO
Living in the Fort
reminds me of those good times
when you licked my toes
Haiku # 2217, October 7, 1999 4:49 pm ET
by SHAGGYDOO
She pissed me off but
got lucky for now because
omelette this one slide
Haiku # 2216, October 7, 1999 4:46 pm ET
by SHAGGYDOO
my mother saw me
kill a cow with a hammer
lousy angel dust!
Haiku # 2215, October 7, 1999 10:15 am ET
by Hollywood Bonfire
Your thighs are just like
The hump on a humpback whale
But a bit fatter
Haiku # 2214, October 7, 1999 7:52 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Grease those electrodes
And stick them to my temples
Those babies tingle
Haiku # 2213, October 7, 1999 7:48 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
If I reached over
To kiss those cherubic lips
Would you use your tongue?
Haiku # 2212, October 7, 1999 7:45 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Like a regal swan
I can snap a man''s femur
With my orange feet
Haiku # 2211, October 7, 1999 7:42 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Ah distant planet
Spinning idly beyond reach
Like a ceiling fan
Haiku # 2210, October 7, 1999 5:54 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
sea birds flew backwards
until i saw them clearly
flying leaves on wind
Haiku # 2209, October 6, 1999 10:42 pm ET
by jimmersan of santa dog rosa, ussa
Haiku # 2208, October 6, 1999 10:35 pm ET
by jimmersan
That that, evil one!
And that! And that! And that! Ha.
Yes, that`ll learn yer.
Haiku # 2207, October 6, 1999 9:04 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
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