Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 355 Days and 77338 Haiku later...

Ah sweet Jennifer
The best way to arch your back
Is to get lockjaw
Haiku # 2239, October 10, 1999 11:25 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
That`s Haiku for you
Seventeen syllables and
There`s no looking back
Haiku # 2238, October 10, 1999 11:22 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
I look for lovers
that know what it takes for me
arch my back up high.
Haiku # 2237, October 10, 1999 9:03 am ET
by Jennifer
See the hostile youth.
What has become of their lives?
They''re haiku junkies.
Haiku # 2236, October 10, 1999 9:02 am ET
by Tony's Grandpa
KENNETH EXTENSION
LEFT YOUR brain ON THE RED BUS
GET A LIFE TWEAKER
Haiku # 2235, October 9, 1999 9:55 pm ET
by THE ROCK
i went to cancun
and i went to donate blood
i can''t. what the hell.
Haiku # 2234, October 9, 1999 1:27 pm ET
by Adrienne
library lady
armed with her red laser pen
somebody save me
Haiku # 2233, October 9, 1999 1:18 pm ET
by Adrienne
it''s easy to do
abusing the bad haiku
at first when you''re new
Haiku # 2232, October 9, 1999 11:34 am ET
by oldnasty
If you are gonna
burn smoke in your lungs you might
as well smoke a joint
Haiku # 2231, October 9, 1999 7:20 am ET
by Tony's Grandpa
again and again
you can read those lines and then
shake your head at ken
Haiku # 2230, October 9, 1999 5:10 am ET
by ash
boogers and bandaids
chlorine struggling to defeat
faecal coliforms
Haiku # 2229, October 9, 1999 3:44 am ET
by ash
never be sorry
for cocaine cuz it''s so pure
NOW i look pretty
Haiku # 2228, October 8, 1999 4:51 pm ET
by permanent kurl
scalloped, baked, french fried
potato career choices
hash browns, tater tots
Haiku # 2227, October 8, 1999 1:48 pm ET
by oldnasty
hi! my name is Ken
i no longer bug my friends
because I have none
Haiku # 2226, October 8, 1999 1:32 pm ET
by oldnasty
you''re flattering me?
you masturbate to my bod?
wet. open. alone.
Haiku # 2225, October 7, 1999 5:40 pm ET
by kurl
i wait for your call
with my ass on the shower
stream. come in to me.
Haiku # 2224, October 7, 1999 5:38 pm ET
by kurl
for you cannot steal
my memory then jack off.
We can do better
Haiku # 2223, October 7, 1999 5:36 pm ET
by kurl
complete the cycle
fantasize. and then. you fuck
i insist we fuck
Haiku # 2222, October 7, 1999 5:35 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Damn......I guess I want
to really know the answer
to that last question!
Haiku # 2221, October 7, 1999 5:09 pm ET
by SHAGGYDOO
i sniff the future
predictable allergens
like nostril dharma
Haiku # 2220, October 7, 1999 5:06 pm ET
by ash
Do you think they eat
Chicken meat, or do they eat
Turkey in Turkey?
Haiku # 2219, October 7, 1999 5:02 pm ET
by SHAGGYDOO
Do you think they eat
Chicken meat, or do they eat
Turkey in Turkey?
Haiku # 2218, October 7, 1999 4:53 pm ET
by SHAGGYDOO
Living in the Fort
reminds me of those good times
when you licked my toes
Haiku # 2217, October 7, 1999 4:49 pm ET
by SHAGGYDOO
She pissed me off but
got lucky for now because
omelette this one slide
Haiku # 2216, October 7, 1999 4:46 pm ET
by SHAGGYDOO
my mother saw me
kill a cow with a hammer
lousy angel dust!
Haiku # 2215, October 7, 1999 10:15 am ET
by Hollywood Bonfire
Your thighs are just like
The hump on a humpback whale
But a bit fatter
Haiku # 2214, October 7, 1999 7:52 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Grease those electrodes
And stick them to my temples
Those babies tingle
Haiku # 2213, October 7, 1999 7:48 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
If I reached over
To kiss those cherubic lips
Would you use your tongue?
Haiku # 2212, October 7, 1999 7:45 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Like a regal swan
I can snap a man''s femur
With my orange feet
Haiku # 2211, October 7, 1999 7:42 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Ah distant planet
Spinning idly beyond reach
Like a ceiling fan
Haiku # 2210, October 7, 1999 5:54 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
sea birds flew backwards
until i saw them clearly
flying leaves on wind
Haiku # 2209, October 6, 1999 10:42 pm ET
by jimmersan of santa dog rosa, ussa
Haiku # 2208, October 6, 1999 10:35 pm ET
by jimmersan
That that, evil one!
And that! And that! And that! Ha.
Yes, that`ll learn yer.
Haiku # 2207, October 6, 1999 9:04 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
what hurts uranus ?
afflicted by asteroids
hanging out in space
Haiku # 2206, October 6, 1999 5:01 am ET
by ash
This woman I know
- We`ll call her Lily Savage.
I think she`s a man...
Haiku # 2205, October 5, 1999 8:01 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
Objectives achieved
Fill one with joy for two hours,
Approximately.
Haiku # 2204, October 5, 1999 7:57 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
Let me just say this.....
Bite me if you think it''s vile!
Don''t bite too hard please.
Haiku # 2203, October 4, 1999 6:55 pm ET
by Tony's Grandpa
Man.....we need some life!
Let''s stir some things up ''round here.
How ''bout a fist fight?!
Haiku # 2202, October 4, 1999 6:54 pm ET
by Tony's Grandpa
The woman next door
Wears a pearl necklace made of
Milk teeth of children.
Haiku # 2201, October 3, 1999 6:45 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
Four fat metal strings
Oscillate in a way that`s
Pythagorean
Haiku # 2200, October 3, 1999 5:49 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
This pessimism
Is as thinly veiled as a
Nude bride in Vegas
Haiku # 2199, October 3, 1999 5:46 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Oh yes, that is weird.
Some would say almost *too* weird.
But not me, of course.
Haiku # 2198, October 3, 1999 4:11 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
This guy came at me
waving a nine inch dildo.
Isn''t that so weird?
Haiku # 2197, October 2, 1999 11:15 am ET
by Jill Eon of The Edge,
It`s about this time
When you have to give in and
Put the heating on
Haiku # 2196, October 2, 1999 10:11 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
It`s got furry ears
And it keeps in body warmth.
Guess what it is yet?
Haiku # 2195, October 2, 1999 9:24 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
It''s my suspicion
That when this starts to make sense
It`ll be too late
Haiku # 2194, October 2, 1999 8:56 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Don`t think I don`t know
You`re checking out my format.
Cue corrective verse...
Haiku # 2193, October 2, 1999 5:14 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
Don`t you think it`s queer
How people get so worked up
About this little site.
Haiku # 2192, October 2, 1999 5:11 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
I stepped on the toe
Of the shadowy man at
The end of the world
Haiku # 2191, October 2, 1999 1:36 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
The days are shrinking
Like a man''s tumescent chap
Plunged in cold water
Haiku # 2190, October 2, 1999 1:34 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
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