Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 355 Days and 77338 Haiku later...

never be sorry
for cocaine cuz it''s so pure
NOW i look pretty
Haiku # 2228, October 8, 1999 4:51 pm ET
by permanent kurl
scalloped, baked, french fried
potato career choices
hash browns, tater tots
Haiku # 2227, October 8, 1999 1:48 pm ET
by oldnasty
hi! my name is Ken
i no longer bug my friends
because I have none
Haiku # 2226, October 8, 1999 1:32 pm ET
by oldnasty
you''re flattering me?
you masturbate to my bod?
wet. open. alone.
Haiku # 2225, October 7, 1999 5:40 pm ET
by kurl
i wait for your call
with my ass on the shower
stream. come in to me.
Haiku # 2224, October 7, 1999 5:38 pm ET
by kurl
for you cannot steal
my memory then jack off.
We can do better
Haiku # 2223, October 7, 1999 5:36 pm ET
by kurl
complete the cycle
fantasize. and then. you fuck
i insist we fuck
Haiku # 2222, October 7, 1999 5:35 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Damn......I guess I want
to really know the answer
to that last question!
Haiku # 2221, October 7, 1999 5:09 pm ET
by SHAGGYDOO
i sniff the future
predictable allergens
like nostril dharma
Haiku # 2220, October 7, 1999 5:06 pm ET
by ash
Do you think they eat
Chicken meat, or do they eat
Turkey in Turkey?
Haiku # 2219, October 7, 1999 5:02 pm ET
by SHAGGYDOO
Do you think they eat
Chicken meat, or do they eat
Turkey in Turkey?
Haiku # 2218, October 7, 1999 4:53 pm ET
by SHAGGYDOO
Living in the Fort
reminds me of those good times
when you licked my toes
Haiku # 2217, October 7, 1999 4:49 pm ET
by SHAGGYDOO
She pissed me off but
got lucky for now because
omelette this one slide
Haiku # 2216, October 7, 1999 4:46 pm ET
by SHAGGYDOO
my mother saw me
kill a cow with a hammer
lousy angel dust!
Haiku # 2215, October 7, 1999 10:15 am ET
by Hollywood Bonfire
Your thighs are just like
The hump on a humpback whale
But a bit fatter
Haiku # 2214, October 7, 1999 7:52 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Grease those electrodes
And stick them to my temples
Those babies tingle
Haiku # 2213, October 7, 1999 7:48 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
If I reached over
To kiss those cherubic lips
Would you use your tongue?
Haiku # 2212, October 7, 1999 7:45 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Like a regal swan
I can snap a man''s femur
With my orange feet
Haiku # 2211, October 7, 1999 7:42 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Ah distant planet
Spinning idly beyond reach
Like a ceiling fan
Haiku # 2210, October 7, 1999 5:54 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
sea birds flew backwards
until i saw them clearly
flying leaves on wind
Haiku # 2209, October 6, 1999 10:42 pm ET
by jimmersan of santa dog rosa, ussa
Haiku # 2208, October 6, 1999 10:35 pm ET
by jimmersan
That that, evil one!
And that! And that! And that! Ha.
Yes, that`ll learn yer.
Haiku # 2207, October 6, 1999 9:04 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
what hurts uranus ?
afflicted by asteroids
hanging out in space
Haiku # 2206, October 6, 1999 5:01 am ET
by ash
This woman I know
- We`ll call her Lily Savage.
I think she`s a man...
Haiku # 2205, October 5, 1999 8:01 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
Objectives achieved
Fill one with joy for two hours,
Approximately.
Haiku # 2204, October 5, 1999 7:57 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
Let me just say this.....
Bite me if you think it''s vile!
Don''t bite too hard please.
Haiku # 2203, October 4, 1999 6:55 pm ET
by Tony's Grandpa
Man.....we need some life!
Let''s stir some things up ''round here.
How ''bout a fist fight?!
Haiku # 2202, October 4, 1999 6:54 pm ET
by Tony's Grandpa
The woman next door
Wears a pearl necklace made of
Milk teeth of children.
Haiku # 2201, October 3, 1999 6:45 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
Four fat metal strings
Oscillate in a way that`s
Pythagorean
Haiku # 2200, October 3, 1999 5:49 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
This pessimism
Is as thinly veiled as a
Nude bride in Vegas
Haiku # 2199, October 3, 1999 5:46 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Oh yes, that is weird.
Some would say almost *too* weird.
But not me, of course.
Haiku # 2198, October 3, 1999 4:11 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
This guy came at me
waving a nine inch dildo.
Isn''t that so weird?
Haiku # 2197, October 2, 1999 11:15 am ET
by Jill Eon of The Edge,
It`s about this time
When you have to give in and
Put the heating on
Haiku # 2196, October 2, 1999 10:11 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
It`s got furry ears
And it keeps in body warmth.
Guess what it is yet?
Haiku # 2195, October 2, 1999 9:24 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
It''s my suspicion
That when this starts to make sense
It`ll be too late
Haiku # 2194, October 2, 1999 8:56 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Don`t think I don`t know
You`re checking out my format.
Cue corrective verse...
Haiku # 2193, October 2, 1999 5:14 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
Don`t you think it`s queer
How people get so worked up
About this little site.
Haiku # 2192, October 2, 1999 5:11 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
I stepped on the toe
Of the shadowy man at
The end of the world
Haiku # 2191, October 2, 1999 1:36 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
The days are shrinking
Like a man''s tumescent chap
Plunged in cold water
Haiku # 2190, October 2, 1999 1:34 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Don''t you see my friend?
This is the Bad Haiku site
Not the Lovely one.
Haiku # 2189, October 2, 1999 1:32 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
too many haikus
two per week should be limit
to stop flow of shit
Haiku # 2188, October 1, 1999 5:07 pm ET
by Infinity of Murfreesboro,
People better learn
How to write fucking haikus
Or don''t submit stuff
Haiku # 2187, October 1, 1999 1:44 pm ET
by Xavier of Chapel Hill,
Him: "I don`t get your
Emotional heiroglyphs."
Heiroglyphs??? Twat!
Haiku # 2186, October 1, 1999 8:30 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
Robert DeNiro
Wasn`t in `The Deerstalker`.
Bloody film students.
Haiku # 2185, October 1, 1999 8:21 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
Twenty weeks in Greece?
Why''s he so pale? I`ll tell you:
Archeology.
Haiku # 2184, October 1, 1999 8:18 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
Punks Gettin Froggy
I regale them with ardor
Drink up their forties
Haiku # 2183, October 1, 1999 8:14 am ET
by Fruity of Oakland,
Orthodox haiku
Will never accommodate
Antidisestab-
Haiku # 2182, October 1, 1999 8:09 am ET
by Scrunty Harbdody
In an ideal world
I would slump around all day
Wrapped in a duvet
Haiku # 2181, October 1, 1999 8:06 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
tropical storm front
impressive special effects
ozone in the nostrils
Haiku # 2180, October 1, 1999 5:39 am ET
by ash
Meaningful haiku
Tends to be greatly improved
By the word `minge`.
Haiku # 2179, October 1, 1999 4:00 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
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