Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 45 Days and 77437 Haiku later...

too many haikus
two per week should be limit
to stop flow of shit
Haiku # 2188, October 1, 1999 5:07 pm ET
by Infinity of Murfreesboro,
People better learn
How to write fucking haikus
Or don''t submit stuff
Haiku # 2187, October 1, 1999 1:44 pm ET
by Xavier of Chapel Hill,
Him: "I don`t get your
Emotional heiroglyphs."
Heiroglyphs??? Twat!
Haiku # 2186, October 1, 1999 8:30 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
Robert DeNiro
Wasn`t in `The Deerstalker`.
Bloody film students.
Haiku # 2185, October 1, 1999 8:21 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
Twenty weeks in Greece?
Why''s he so pale? I`ll tell you:
Archeology.
Haiku # 2184, October 1, 1999 8:18 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
Punks Gettin Froggy
I regale them with ardor
Drink up their forties
Haiku # 2183, October 1, 1999 8:14 am ET
by Fruity of Oakland,
Orthodox haiku
Will never accommodate
Antidisestab-
Haiku # 2182, October 1, 1999 8:09 am ET
by Scrunty Harbdody
In an ideal world
I would slump around all day
Wrapped in a duvet
Haiku # 2181, October 1, 1999 8:06 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
tropical storm front
impressive special effects
ozone in the nostrils
Haiku # 2180, October 1, 1999 5:39 am ET
by ash
Meaningful haiku
Tends to be greatly improved
By the word `minge`.
Haiku # 2179, October 1, 1999 4:00 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
People left behind
Are more fondly remembered
When kept in the past.
Haiku # 2178, October 1, 1999 3:54 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
The skyline I see
Has it''s moments with the sun
It''s way too nice here
Haiku # 2177, September 30, 1999 5:34 pm ET
by SHAGGYDOO
She shouted at me,
and warned me that I should pray.
Her face spoke the truth.
Haiku # 2176, September 30, 1999 5:31 pm ET
by SHAGGYDOO
Did you ever think
that you would grow up and see
things in this way
Haiku # 2175, September 30, 1999 5:25 pm ET
by SHAGGYDOO
Again, I said, "you don''t take me seriously.
You said, "you''re kidding."
Haiku # 2174, September 30, 1999 4:50 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I said, "you don''t understand me."
You said, "You''re kidding!"
Haiku # 2173, September 30, 1999 4:48 pm ET
by John
First goose
Last fly
Autumn
Haiku # 2172, September 30, 1999 4:46 pm ET
by Roland of Baltimore, USA
Long-haired dude from France
You stole my lovely girlfriend
I kill your poodle
Haiku # 2171, September 30, 1999 12:57 pm ET
by Xavier of Chapel Hill, USA
Squick, squick, squick, squick, squick
Trephination really rules
Now I make haiku.
Haiku # 2170, September 30, 1999 9:25 am ET
by Squick
in the sand my ilk
My gall upone the shoreline
warming to a boil
Haiku # 2169, September 29, 1999 8:24 pm ET
by Ernest Unity of !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
gummy slumtrop gil
flie flimtrop thilth ghuyilthsom
like the pounding surf
Haiku # 2168, September 29, 1999 8:22 pm ET
by Ernest Unity of !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That means I''m back, Folks!
I would like to live with you
If it comes to that!
Haiku # 2167, September 29, 1999 8:09 pm ET
by Ernest Unity of !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
CAAAAAAN YOUUU HAAANDLE IT!!!
Coming straight right at your ass
My giant psyche?
Haiku # 2166, September 29, 1999 8:06 pm ET
by Ernest Unity of !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Haiku # 2165, September 29, 1999 7:53 pm ET
by Ernest Unity
Stomach turns and churns
Feeling the force of dinner
I have to poop bad
Haiku # 2164, September 29, 1999 2:20 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet of Syracuse, USA
A caf
Haiku # 2163, September 29, 1999 6:19 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Wild thoughts are rattling
Like a pea in a tin cup
I just don''t get chicks
Haiku # 2162, September 29, 1999 6:15 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Precipitation.
Great fat globules of the stuff
trickling down my back.
Haiku # 2161, September 29, 1999 4:07 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
to quote frank zappa :
"the crux of the matter is.....
the apostrophe"
Haiku # 2160, September 28, 1999 5:44 am ET
by ash
careful with that axe
i heard the bonfire whisper
so wot''s uh, the deal
Haiku # 2159, September 28, 1999 5:41 am ET
by ash
Sometimes I just spin
Like a crazy spinning top
Other times, I don''t
Haiku # 2158, September 28, 1999 5:06 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Syd....is it you there
on the other side of this?
Shine on...crazy one.
Haiku # 2157, September 26, 1999 5:59 am ET
by SHAGGYDOO
Oh....Whoa Black Betty!
Bam-A-Lamm....Yeah....Bam-A-Lamm!
Say, Whoa Black Betty!
Haiku # 2156, September 26, 1999 5:57 am ET
by Tony's Grandpa
fear can give us hope

hope is blind optimism

fear of hope is blind
Haiku # 2155, September 25, 1999 4:20 pm ET
by betty of birmingham, usa
bad haiku is weird
i may not visit again
until then, good bye
Haiku # 2154, September 25, 1999 12:07 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
my cube is haunted
nerd ghosts materialize
searching for sliderules
Haiku # 2153, September 25, 1999 5:36 am ET
by Hollywood Bonfire
pinned by a small girl
I embarassed my father
"Daddy, please!" I yelled
Haiku # 2152, September 25, 1999 5:32 am ET
by Hollywood Bonfire
I started Pink Floyd
all that shit was my idea
I really rocked then
Haiku # 2151, September 25, 1999 5:30 am ET
by Hollywood Bonfire
reach deep in myself
produce one gory organ
to skid in the pan
Haiku # 2150, September 25, 1999 5:28 am ET
by Hollywood Bonfire
Driving on backroads
With the sun setting brightly
I jam to LED ZEPP
Haiku # 2149, September 24, 1999 4:43 pm ET
by SHAGGYDOO
Is that liquid egg
The by-product of chickens
With diarrhoea?
Haiku # 2148, September 24, 1999 8:39 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
All I do is wait
It wouldn''t be so bad if
There was a hammock
Haiku # 2147, September 24, 1999 8:37 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
''Cocksucker'', you say.
D`you kiss your mum with that tongue?
Huh, motherfucker?
Haiku # 2146, September 24, 1999 7:11 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
giles de la tourette
cocksucking motherfucker
swears by bad haiku
Haiku # 2145, September 24, 1999 6:18 am ET
by ash
cumulonimbus
rolling thunder to the north
fat patters of rain
Haiku # 2144, September 24, 1999 6:02 am ET
by ash
These stupid buttons
Are driving me doolally
The Internet sucks
Haiku # 2143, September 24, 1999 3:14 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Each month''s last Friday
Results in a tiny cheque
We call it "payday"
Haiku # 2142, September 24, 1999 3:13 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Each month''s last Friday
Haiku # 2141, September 24, 1999 3:13 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
It''s such a cruel sport,
but you just gotta laugh at
that dwarf tossing game.
Haiku # 2140, September 23, 1999 4:25 pm ET
by SHAGGYDOO
Visualize this......

Dwarf tossing at night with a

Scrunty Hardbody.
Haiku # 2139, September 23, 1999 4:17 pm ET
by SHAGGYDOO
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