Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 354 Days and 77338 Haiku later...

That last one was mine
Forgot to put my name in
Silly silly boy
Haiku # 1987, September 8, 1999 8:36 am ET
by Like Herod
I''m worried about
My addiction to wrestling
Long-haired men in tights
Haiku # 1986, September 8, 1999 8:35 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Again, apologies
But if I don''t sell t-shirts
Can''t afford to eat
Haiku # 1985, September 8, 1999 8:32 am ET
by Like Herod
Sorry about this -
This here is a shameless plug
Come visit my site:

http://www.drugSkilldesigns.freeserve.co.uk
Haiku # 1984, September 8, 1999 8:28 am ET
by Like Herod
Whoever''s in charge:
Thanks for helping me waste time
This site is the best
Although I must say
Apostrophes need fixing.
Apart from that: cool
Haiku # 1983, September 8, 1999 8:25 am ET
by Like Herod
A smoking monkey:
Now THAT''S a good idea
(Birthday present hint!)
Haiku # 1982, September 8, 1999 8:20 am ET
by Like Herod
I have a problem
Can''t remember what it''s called
Um... amnesia?
Haiku # 1981, September 8, 1999 8:14 am ET
by Like Herod
***what a mighty cock!
exclaimed the princess of slop
slipping and slapping***
Haiku # 1980, September 7, 1999 3:52 pm ET
by Aunt
Hello, FBI?
I''d like to see my file, please.
What? You don''t have one?
Haiku # 1979, September 7, 1999 8:57 am ET
by Like Herod
Okay, just one more
Then go do something useful
Ready? Here we go
Haiku # 1978, September 7, 1999 8:49 am ET
by Like Herod
Wasting all my time
Trying hard to be clever
When nobody cares
Haiku # 1977, September 7, 1999 8:47 am ET
by Like Herod
Ricky Martin''s dead
I shot him thirty-two times
Justified, I''d say
Haiku # 1976, September 7, 1999 8:45 am ET
by Like Herod
This must be a first -
An ode to the enema:
"Lots of frothy fun"
Haiku # 1975, September 7, 1999 8:40 am ET
by Like Herod
This is the first line
It was five syllables long
And hardly inspired
Haiku # 1974, September 7, 1999 8:35 am ET
by Like Herod
Sometimes I wonder:
The ''Man from DelMont
Haiku # 1973, September 7, 1999 7:41 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
When I am mayor
Men with high-powered stun guns
Will shock litter bugs
Haiku # 1972, September 7, 1999 4:59 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Hey, man with a sign
Where do you think it''s pointing?
To the tattoo place?
Haiku # 1971, September 7, 1999 4:58 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Aerosol hair mousse
Is strangely similar to
Aerosol whipped cream
Haiku # 1970, September 7, 1999 4:56 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Oh, I never knew
My back could ripple and flow.
Shiatsu massage.
Haiku # 1969, September 7, 1999 4:07 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
My wee dog nibbled
On a harmless toadstool.
Will she shrink or grow?
Haiku # 1968, September 7, 1999 4:03 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
Beauty products
Sometimes smell like Dream Topping
But taste of plastic
Haiku # 1967, September 7, 1999 4:00 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
On long summer days
Men remove their shirts and walk
Topless on the streets
Haiku # 1966, September 6, 1999 5:41 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
I lifted the veil
That masks the subconscious mind
And kissed its full lips
Haiku # 1965, September 6, 1999 5:39 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
The sun shines, tar melts
With lolly sticks, we create
Our names on the wall
Haiku # 1964, September 6, 1999 5:36 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Hail the size of Mars
Pounds the surface of the Earth
Ming is merciless
Haiku # 1963, September 6, 1999 5:35 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
someone once told me
"I am a superhero"
I promptly killed them :)
Haiku # 1962, September 5, 1999 2:44 pm ET
by Infinity
Raisin Head Prophet
Predicting Armageddon,
Get you A Snickers?
Haiku # 1961, September 4, 1999 9:58 pm ET
by Scott of Alton,
Dead eyes fill my heart
Til it weighs me like potatoes
On my burdened couch
Haiku # 1960, September 4, 1999 9:52 pm ET
by Scott of Alton,
Being remembered
Does not make you a legend
It makes you un-you.
Haiku # 1959, September 4, 1999 9:48 pm ET
by Scott of Alton,
Metal Faced Woman
Being So Brave and Unique
Makes You More Alone
Haiku # 1958, September 4, 1999 9:45 pm ET
by Scott of Alton,
That Gwyneth Paltrow
She`s really kinda scrawny
Fake English chicken
Haiku # 1957, September 4, 1999 4:34 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
the left one is blue
for my balls doth ache from lunch, fucking dog shit stew
Haiku # 1956, September 2, 1999 8:34 pm ET
by wilbydunn
My appologies
To those that are offended
Poor formatting sucks.
Haiku # 1955, September 2, 1999 7:32 pm ET
by Janis
Small names make for more Enjoyable, easier
To read haiku, Yes?
Haiku # 1954, September 2, 1999 7:30 pm ET
by Janis
I think that it''s fixed
But I''m testing it again
Just to be certain
Haiku # 1953, September 2, 1999 7:28 pm ET
by Janis
I''m very confused
With the formatting issues
I''ll fix it all soon
Haiku # 1952, September 2, 1999 7:27 pm ET
by Janis
Haiku in Yiddish
Means Lift Your Skirt In Public
Catch on America
Haiku # 1951, September 2, 1999 3:42 pm ET
by Scott of Alton,
Idle Time Hero
My Creative Energy
Just Jizzed the Fishtank
Haiku # 1950, September 2, 1999 3:37 pm ET
by Scott of Alton,
Stapled Left Thumbnai
Fountains of Plasmic Beauty
DeNiroing Home
Haiku # 1949, September 2, 1999 2:49 pm ET
by Scott of Alton,
Stapled Left Thumbnail
Haiku # 1948, September 2, 1999 2:48 pm ET
by Scott of Alton,
What vile micturate
Drips down that grimy surface
Could it be BoyZone?
Haiku # 1947, September 2, 1999 12:42 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
So few musicians
Are spawned in bubbling vats
Or so they tell us
Haiku # 1946, September 2, 1999 12:32 pm ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
I can''t bend the moon
But I''d like to ask for the
Iron Catalogue please.
Haiku # 1945, September 2, 1999 8:11 am ET
by Ed of London, UK
down in the backyard
a rabbit-shit factory
processes pellets
Haiku # 1944, September 2, 1999 5:45 am ET
by ash
splashing in the tank
transmorphic amphibian
not quite a frog
Haiku # 1943, September 2, 1999 5:41 am ET
by ash
stove clock malfunctions
unexpected beeping sounds
fifty-four o''clock
Haiku # 1942, September 2, 1999 5:37 am ET
by ash
Less and less items
Are made triangularly
And soon there''ll be none
Haiku # 1941, September 2, 1999 5:17 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
A minor seventh
Sends me spiralling downwards
Like a falling leaf
Haiku # 1940, September 2, 1999 5:14 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Radio aerial
Inside my head lies broken
Reception is poor
Haiku # 1939, September 2, 1999 5:13 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
An inflatable
Vagina lurks by the steps
Who could have left it?
Haiku # 1938, September 2, 1999 5:12 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
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